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Old 08-10-2012, 09:59 AM  
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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Beating the shit out of a co-worker
You know, I just don't get it. I was raised that if you ****ed something up you better take accountability for it and make sure you don't write a check with your mouth that your ass can't cash.

I'm at work, and everything is going great until I stumble upon this ****stain that is completely ****ing off on a project that I'm going to have to fix later on. He was a scrawny little **** so I thought reasoning with him would solve the problem quickly.

No. This little shit obviously doesn't care about working here, and it's just a paycheck too him until he can get the **** out and start stunt doubling in porn on small cock films. Ridiculous. He starts talking shit about different ways to skin a cat and I told the little shit that I was going to skin him if he didn't take his work more seriously.

He continues running his mouth to the point that I told him I'd see him out in the parking lot after work. Needless to say, he shut the **** up at that point and I figured I'd be better off just fixing his **** up later and not letting the situation escalate too far. Before my shift ends, the ****ing police show up threatening to take me to jail for "assaulting" this kid. Jesus. He started the whole thing by being a ****ing asshole when I tried to explain how he could better do his job!

Turns out this little pussy went to H/R saying I threatened him! He was pretty nasty in some of the shit that he said to me, and I just responded in kind. He then goes and turns the tables on me portraying me to be some kind of asshole that just wanted to pick on someone half my size. As if it's my fault that God made him an oversized midget, and his father never taught him how to communicate with people in ways that wouldn't get his shit pushed in.

Luckily for me I've been here for years and the folks in H/R know my character. They told him it wasn't a big deal, and there wouldn't be any more problems. Case should be closed. I'd be happy to square it away with him myself, it's not like I was going to cave his skull in or anything. It was just the heat of the moment. I was looking forward to speaking with him last night to try and bury the hatchet but it turns out the little pussy just up and quit when H/R told him they weren't going to fire me! Wow. What are you going to do...
Last edited by Mr. Flopnuts; 08-10-2012 at 10:04 AM..
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Old 08-11-2012, 02:45 PM   #76
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I appreciate your input. Maybe I should look into some anger management classes. I'm a lover. Not a fighter. Do you know anyone I could see for some therapy?
I can show you how to manage anger.
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Old 08-11-2012, 02:46 PM   #77
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Old 08-11-2012, 02:50 PM   #78
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He continues running his mouth to the point that I told him I'd see him out in the parking lot after work. Needless to say, he shut the **** up at that point and I figured I'd be better off just fixing his **** up later and not letting the situation escalate too far. Before my shift ends, the ****ing police show up threatening to take me to jail for "assaulting" this kid. Jesus. He started the whole thing by being a ****ing asshole when I tried to explain how he could better do his .
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Old 08-13-2012, 06:35 AM   #79
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Geez. I didn't see the other thread until after I posted. I hate me...
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Old 08-13-2012, 06:48 AM   #80
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A co-worker should NEVER be treated this way. It cannot and will not be tolerated. Prepare for legal action sucker.
You're the pussification of the country.
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Old 08-13-2012, 06:52 AM   #81
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tell him this, word for word, in a menacing voice while you look right into his eyes:

Don't say another Goddamn word. Up until now, I've been polite. If you say ANYTHING else - ONE word - I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the Master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this Fear Engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming -as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of NOTHING will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark world will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.
This is from Matthew isn't it? You got to love a good bible story.
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Old 08-13-2012, 06:54 AM   #82
Dave Lane Dave Lane is offline
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And what the **** is up with the dumbasses in this thread?

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Old 08-13-2012, 06:55 AM   #83
blaise blaise is offline
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Old 08-13-2012, 08:01 AM   #84
threebag threebag is offline
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he probably seen you putting ice cubes in your mouth. thats why he called the cops.
He knew you were getting ready to cold cock him
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Old 08-13-2012, 09:24 AM   #85
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Would look into anger management.
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topher79 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.topher79 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.topher79 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.topher79 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.topher79 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.topher79 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.topher79 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.topher79 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.topher79 < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 08-13-2012, 11:06 AM   #86
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This thread is one giant .

Flopnuts this is great.
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Old 08-13-2012, 11:38 AM   #87
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Old 05-19-2013, 06:39 PM   #88
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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Just an update. It hasn't been my year. My wife got pissed over me over cooking her steak and stabbed me with her fork. I grabbed it out of her hand and bruised her wrist in the process. ****, it's not like I was trying to hurt her. But she got emotional and called the police and I went to jail! Even though I was bleeding out of my nipple! Horseshit. What are you gonna do?
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Old 05-19-2013, 06:43 PM   #89
Mother****erJones Mother****erJones is offline
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Old 05-19-2013, 06:44 PM   #90
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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Internet tough guy
I'm just mi55underst00d.
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