Other Sports Big 10 Report: Conference Realignment - Page 178

Mr. Laz · 02:57 PM

A source in St. Louis familiar with the situation told NewsCenter 16 Thursday afternoon that Missouri will leave the Big XII and soon join the Big 10. Other schools expected to follow the Tigers are Syracuse, Pitt, Rutgers and Nebraska.

Many have speculated that such an expansion would include Notre Dame but ND athletic director Jack Swarbrick told me today that the Irish prefer to stay independent in football and in the Big East for other sports. Swarbrick said maintaining football Independence is such a part of what Notre Dame is.

He went on to say the Big East is a great partner for the University in other sports.

"We do have to monitor what is going on," Swarbrick said. "There will be significant shifts. "Hopefully we can navigate them by keeping our football independent and keeping our Big East affiliation because that is what we care about."

The move of Syracuse, Pitt and Rutgers to the Big Ten from the Big East could categorically change the landscape of the Big East itself. Thus, what Swarbrick is referring to when stating the University must continue to monitor what is going on.

The interview with Swarbrick was done before the late afternoon announcement.

http://www.wndu.com/sports/headlines/92447574.html

HolyHandgernade · 06-09-2010, 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BWillie007

Dude, nobody is saying KU is going to the Mountain West. I don't understand why people are just ASSUMING KU is going to the Mountain West. It doesn't make any sense. Just because Missouri and Nebraska like to shout about where they want to go and whore themselves out, doesn't necessarily mean KU is shit out of luck. Kansas athletic department revenue is more than almost any other team in the Pac 10, and a Top 4 in the Big 12. I think it's comically when people act like KU isn't relevant just because they hate them so much.

I appreciate your optimism, but it just isn't what is driving this. We might get a pity bid from the Big 10 or even the SEC, but I don't think its likely. It has nothing to do with excellence. Its like MLB now, and to tell you the truth, I think I would feel a little dirty to accept these pity bids. Regionalism and rivalries, the thing that really makes college sports special means nothing to feed the football machine, and if they destroy the NCAA Tournament in the process of that, they don't care. The MWC may actually gain BCS status, but it won't be the same. I hope they enjoy their money.

**alnorth** · 06-09-2010, 01:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

I've only recently began to realize what a petty little douche you are - before that, you were just the guy who started the Royals threads.

Obviously, by "we" I meant Missouri. There was obviously contact between Missouri and the Big 10 at some level long before Nebraska entered the picture. Do I know what that contact was? Of course not. Neither do you.

Was that clear enough for you, dumbass?

Grow the f*** up.

You think I'm picking on you or something? I saw a post, had a funny take on it, and replied. (I also meant "you" as in the Mizzou administration, not "you" as in frazod, internet tough guy extraordinaire)

Didn't bother to look who I was replying to, at all. I didn't even realize I was replying to the same thin-skinned whiney little turd who cant stand to see his beloved Tiggers even casually mocked.

dude, I barely know who you are, and largely dont give a crap what you think or dont think of me. You seem to have an over-inflated assumption of your importance. As if you are saying "listen here son, I'm a pillar in this here internet message board community, so you best respect!"

whatever. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

warpaint* · 06-09-2010, 05:59 AM

http://www.bringonthecats.com/2010/6...-big-12-twelve

Adventures of the Big 12: Twelve Angry Men
by Panjandrum on Jun 7, 2010 10:12 PM CDT in Adventures of the Big 12 Series 69 comments

Behind closed doors at the Big 12's annual meetings, the boys got together to hash out the topics of the day. You know...important things like where we're going to hold the Women's Basketball tournament for the next three years.

Just kidding. Only Baylor cares about that.

Anyway, everyone knows that's not what was on everyone's mind. And, thankfully, through the power of 'multiple sources', we have a strong report of what happened when the gang got together in Kansas City this week.

Enjoy. It may be the last time this current group gets together for their usual shenanigans.

Texas: I call this meeting to order. Today's agenda topic: Who stays and who goes. I'm looking for a quick vote. Obviously, I like bossing all of you around, so I'm in. Oklahoma?

Oklahoma: Hell, I'll stay. Do you really think I want to join the SEC or Pac-10? I still go into shell shock when a woman asks me if I have a Trojan on me, or if I walk past a store in the mall that sells 'Crocs'.

Oklahoma State: In, yo. I'm afraid if I take this game to LA, I may get shot.

Colorado: Staying. Unless the Pac-10 offers, and then I'll leave so fast there will be burn marks in the carpet. But they don't want me without you guys, so I'm probably still stuck with you assholes.

Missouri: Anyone know where the nearest U-Haul place is?

Texas: Jesus, can you be more obvious?

Missouri: What? Do you think I like being irrelevant? Do you think I like hoarding championships in ****ing Softball? And it's not even the cool softball where you drink and wear inappropriate t-shirts that say things like "Balls Going Deep". It's the lesbian kind of softball where half of the cars in the parking lot are pink Cadillacs, and the chicks that show up wear visors and Birkenstocks.

Kansas State: I'm not really into PC, but there's a lot wrong with what you just said...

Missouri: You know what? I don't care. I'm going to go the Big Ten, wipe my ass with piles of TV money, and spend my winters buried in lake effects snow.

Texas: Wiping your ass with money is awesome.

Missouri: So, yeah, I'm out. **** you, **** you, (points at Kansas) and double **** you.

Kansas: Well, that wasn't nice.

Texas: Alright, order...ORDER! Kansas State, what are you doing?

Kansas State: Are you kidding me? Do you think I want to join the Mountain West? In. A thousand times in.

Kansas: (Whispers to his attorney...) My lawyer says that it would be in my best interest to stay.

Kansas State: Your lawyer?

Kansas: At this point, I have the FBI and IRS so far up my ass that they've set up a branch office in my colon. So, I'm taking him wherever I go.

Kansas' Lawyer: No more questions.

Texas: What an embarrassment. Tech?

Texas Tech: In. I go where you go my liege.

Baylor: God spoke with me last night, and he said that I should form a conference with other like religious institutions supported by the Almighty himself. However, he said I had to fire Scott Drew because he's an Eddie Haskell-style prick of the highest order, and I said, "No." I like being good at basketball now. Also, those Oral Roberts kids creep me out. They're like a cult.

Iowa State: I will do anything to stay in this conference. Anything. I am not above handing out sexual favors, and I don't care who asks for it.

Texas: So if I ask you to have sex with a dirty hobo, you'll do it?

Iowa State: Absolutely. You can even tape it if you'd like. That would be a hundred times better than joining the MAC.

Texas: Alright, we'll put that on the agenda for tonight after dinner and drinks at Tomfooleries. Nebraska, what say you?

Nebraska: I am 100% committed to exploring all of my options.

Texas: Huh?

Nebraska: I am fully invested in this conference unless something better comes along.

Oklahoma: How does sitting on that fence feel?

Nebraska: It kind of chafes.

Texas: And, finally, I'm afraid to ask. A&M?

Texas A&M: I want to join the sex conference.

(Texas puts his face in his palms...)

Texas: Do you mean the SEC conference?

Texas A&M: Yeah, I want to join the sex conference.

Oklahoma: I think we should let him go.

Texas: We can't. The state legislature says he can't go anywhere without me.

(Texas A&M puts his mouth over the microphone in front of him on the table and tries to swallow it...)

Texas: Alright, so we've got ten stays, one go, and one guy who can't seem to figure out what he wants to do. Nebraska, what can we do to get you off of the fence?

Nebraska: Nothing really. Joining the Big Ten is appealing. I mean, it's like a time warp. Neither of us have really been relevant since the late 90's, so it will be kind of comforting to be amongst like-minded people. Michigan called me and invited me over for a 90210 and Melrose Place marathon.

Oklahoma: That's really sad.

Nebraska: Look, I want to be with other people who think time stopped after the late 90's. Do you know how much being me sucks right now? I haven't won a conference championship in ELEVEN years. Hell, even Kansas State over there has won a conference title since I have.

Kansas State: Kicked your ass too.

Nebraska: **** off. And my basketball program is an embarrassment. In the Big Ten, Sadler ball will be considered 'up tempo', and my waning baseball program will be one of the southern most schools, so I'll have a leg up there.

Texas: Everything you just said there makes me sad.

Nebraska: You're sad? The only reason I'm not sad is because my entire state has been on Prozac since Tom Osborne retired. Do you really think we like Pelini? The guy wears sweatshirts on the sideline. SWEATSHIRTS. The guys in the navy blue polo shirts at Wal-Mart that greet me when I walk in look and act more professional than he does.

Oklahoma: Have you considered therapy?

Iowa State: I know a guy...

Dan Beebe: Hey, guys, what's up?

Texas: Dan, go back to your computer, keep playing Minesweeper, and we'll call you when we're done.

Beebe: Sure thing, boss.

Texas Tech: That was kind of harsh, don't you think?

Texas: He should be thankful he still has a job. We used a cardboard cutout of him a few weeks ago at a function with a tape player attached to its back looping random, non-committal statements, and no one knew it wasn't him until Baylor tried to hand him a plate of barbecued chicken and it dropped to the floor.

Texas A&M: I ate that chicken.

Oklahoma: Of course you did.

Texas A&M: It tasked like chicken.

Kansas State: I just...nevermind.

Iowa State: You guys will take him with you and not me?

Texas: He brings more televisions than you do.

Iowa State: But he's reeruned!

Texas: He's not reeruned; he's just misunderstood. He hasn't always been this way.

Iowa State: He's pissing himself again. Am I misunderstanding that?

(Texas A&M smiles as the warm urine runs down his leg...)

Texas: (Looks at A&M...) Look, I can't defend you forever. At some point, you're going to need to snap out of this.

Texas Tech: I've always wondered what goes on inside his head.

(Texas A&M stares at the wall...)

(Dan Beebe lets out a shriek at his computer...)

Texas: Dan, don't worry. We all hit the mine from time to time.

Beebe: No, that's not it. The Pac-10 is going to offer six of you.

Kansas: Thank God! Screw you assholes!

Beebe: They don't want you.

Missouri: HA HA.

Kansas State: Suck it.

Beebe: They don't want you either.

Kansas State: Well, duh.

Texas Tech: Who do they want?

Beebe: Texas, A&M, Tech, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, and Colorado.

Colorado: Oh happy daaaaaaayyyyyy!

Texas Tech: Thank you sire!

Oklahoma: I'm going to get sick...yep, here it comes.

(Oklahoma vomits...)

Oklahoma State: Shit. I'm gonna get shot.

Texas: Calm down, guys. We all want to stick around, right? Well, let's not jump the gun here. If we're all in this together, we'll stay. Nebraska, you in?

Nebraska: I'm firmly set on exploring all of my options.

Texas: Goddamnit. Make up your damn mind. Missouri?

Missouri: Kiss my ass.

Texas: Do either of you even have an offer from the Big Ten?

Missouri: It's just a technicality. I'll get one. Eventually.

Oklahoma: You sure you want to take that bet?

Missouri: I'd rather shoot for the moon than hang out with you assholes.

Texas: Alright, **** it. Enjoy Conference USA.

Colorado: Wait, we're not going to the Pac-10?

Texas: Not if we don't have to.

Colorado: Jesus Christ. I finally, through sheer dumb luck, get a shot at getting what I want, and you assholes start cock-blocking me. Screw all of you, I'm out of here.

Beebe: Wait, the Pac-10 said that they may take Baylor instead of you.

Colorado: SON OF A BITCH!!!

Texas: Alright, Colorado's back in. Nebraska, Missouri...it's on you now. You have until Friday to figure this out.

Nebraska: I will stay if you can promise me that the Big 12 Championship will be played in Kansas City at least every other year.

Texas: Let's not get unreasonable now.

Nebraska: Unreasonable? UNREASONABLE??? You take all of the money, get all of the good TV spots, and now you're getting the title game in the Jerrydome every year. And I'm being unreasonable?

Kansas State: You did kind of vote for the unequal revenue sharing when you were, you know, good at football. Ten years ago.

Oklahoma: Actually, it's been eleven years since they won the Big 12.

Kansas State: I stand corrected. You were good at football eleven years ago.

Nebraska: And you assholes wonder why I want to leave.

Texas: Calm down everyone. Tempers are starting to get in the way of reason. Let's just handle this calmly. Nebraska and Missouri, you have until next Friday to decide if you want to stay with us. If you don't, half of us will go to the Pac-10.

Colorado: It's like a nightmare, but I'm still awake...

Kansas: I literally did not see this coming.

Kansas State: So where do the rest of us go?

Texas: Well, I can put in a good word for you with the Mountain West or Big East.

Iowa State: What about me?

Texas: Have you ever considered trade school?

Kansas: You mean to tell me that my storied basketball program is going to slum in the Mountain West?

Oklahoma: Sorry, dude, but this is about football. And, to be honest, no one is going to party with a dude that's under Federal investigation.

Kansas: Point taken. It's Kansas State's fault.

Kansas State: What the?

Texas: Kansas, you really are an asshole. Everyone said you were, but I always gave you the benefit of the doubt. But, yeah, you really do suck.

Kansas State: THANK YOU!!!

Missouri: Ha ha!

Beebe: If anyone needs me, I'm going to head to the shitter.

Texas A&M: Me too. I'm going to the shitter for some head.

(Everyone stares blankly at A&M...)

Texas: I think we're done here. Everyone, we've got a week to figure this out. Go to your corners, make your calls, and we'll hash this out later. Nebraska and Missouri, the ball is in your court.

To be continued???

|Zach| · 06-09-2010, 06:03 AM

Yea that is only the 5th time that has been posted.

|Zach| · 06-09-2010, 06:16 AM

http://www.rockmnation.com/2010/6/9/...u-links-6-9-10

Of course ... I would say that, at the very least, the odds of NU being gone are 50/50. That being the case, we have no choice but to look at what it means for Missouri. Actually, what it means is pretty simple: by Friday, Missouri could officially be inches away from both their best- and worst-case scenarios.

Best-Case Scenario

If Nebraska is gone, I highly doubt the Big Ten stops there. Doing so would give them their championship game and solidify their football and volleyball rosters. But Dave Matter and others put a lot of work into showing just how much of an impact the Big Ten's "footprint" could have on the Big Ten Network's revenue (I believe the figures were this: the BTN makes 70 cents a month off of subscribers in the footprint, 10 cents outside the footprint ... a gigantic difference), and no matter what Nebraska brings to the table, expanding their footprint only to include the Omaha and Lincoln markets (which combine to be the same size as Springfield/Columbia/Jeff City) would only represent a minor improvement in BTN revenue. Since very few markets even outside the footprint would be adding BTN to their packages with the addition of Nebraska (I'm sorry, but I still don't think cable companies are saying "I wasn't on board with Ohio State, Michigan and Penn State, but I'm now on board with Ohio State, Michigan, Penn State and Nebraska!"), it wouldn't really make sense to stop with just the Huskers.

And maybe they're okay with not adding to the footprint ... but in a world where Nebraska's move to the Big Ten likely causes the formation of the Pac-16, which would encompass almost 40% of the nation's biggest markets, it would seem to me that the footprint and the BTN's potential new revenue would still be extremely important. The conference could still add Notre Dame to the roster if the Irish panic (I don't think it will happen, and besides, THAT wouldn't have any impact on the footprint either), which leaves at least one extra spot on the roster, since they wouldn't stop at 13. So I have to think that, in the shadow of the Pac-16 colossus forming to the west, Mizzou would either be fighting it out with Rutgers for the 14th spot on the roster, or joining Rutgers as the 13th and 14th members. I just don't think the Big Ten can stop at 12, considering what the fallout of NU-as-12th-member would create. Of course ...

Worst-Case Scenario

...given that supposedly the Big 12 is quickly kaput if Nebraska leaves, then Mizzou is also one step away from the Great Plains Division of the Mountain West Conference if the Big Ten decides we are not worthy of inclusion. And in some ways, that's not the end of the world. We'd still be in a wonderful position for basketball -- we'd likely be in a division with KU, KSU and Baylor at the very least -- we'd be in position to win the Great Plains Division rather often, and ... as I joked to The Beef on e-mail yesterday, wouldn't it be so much more relaxing to be separated from Texas?

Of course, that was a joke. In a world without a Big 12, clearly the Mountain West (which, in a BCS world, would likely qualify as a BCS conference, whatever it's actually called) would be able to find a decent TV deal for football ... but we're talking lots of 11:30 Fox kickoffs, games on Versus, and untelevised road games. Granted, that wouldn't be much of a step down from the current situation ... but it would absolutely be a step down. And while Mizzou could continue to recruit the state of Texas ... a) Texas is Pac-16 country now, and b) nobody's really going to care about the Mountain West ... at least not as much as the Pac-16, Big Ten and SEC. Recruiting would likely suffer.

So here's what I suggest: in the next two days, get on the phone to 1) any Big Ten executive you may know, 2) your deity of choice, or 3) Tom Osborne (who might soon qualify as both #1 and #2). Mizzou needs a good break now because, if NU is indeed leaving, the ball has officially begun to roll.

**Saulbadguy** · 06-09-2010, 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bugeater

How many schools in the MVC even play football? I know Creighton doesn't.

They used to be the "Gateway conference" if I recall correctly.

Creighton, Bradley, and Wichita State don't have one. I don't think Evansville has a football program either. K-State would have scheduled them by now.

Mr. Plow · 06-09-2010, 06:56 AM

Ok, someone answer this yes or no.....

Has the big 10 offered Nebraska and Missouri? I really don't know.

**Saulbadguy** · 06-09-2010, 07:00 AM

Nebraska is going to go from the weird cousin you only see on family reunions to the red headed step child of the Big 10.

The fact that Osborne has made this a "done deal" back when this thread was started. He's still butthurt from not being allowed partial qualifiers when the Big XII was formed.

kepp · 06-09-2010, 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Plow

Ok, someone answer this yes or no.....

Has the big 10 offered Nebraska and Missouri? I really don't know.

To me, it *sounds* like they have offered Nebraska. The report I heard this morning about the Big12 extending Missouri's ultimatum deadline to the 17th, tells me that our invitation depends on what Notre Dame does, and that the Big10 has communicated that to us.

Reerun_KC · 06-09-2010, 07:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kepp

To me, it *sounds* like they have offered Nebraska. The report I heard this morning about the Big12 extending Missouri's ultimatum deadline to the 17th, tells me that our invitation depends on what Notre Dame does, and that the Big10 has communicated that to us.

Sure is going to be different for the heatland of america....

Frazod · 06-09-2010, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alnorth

Grow the f*** up.

You think I'm picking on you or something? I saw a post, had a funny take on it, and replied. (I also meant "you" as in the Mizzou administration, not "you" as in frazod, internet tough guy extraordinaire)

Didn't bother to look who I was replying to, at all. I didn't even realize I was replying to the same thin-skinned whiney little turd who cant stand to see his beloved Tiggers even casually mocked.

dude, I barely know who you are, and largely dont give a crap what you think or dont think of me. You seem to have an over-inflated assumption of your importance. As if you are saying "listen here son, I'm a pillar in this here internet message board community, so you best respect!"

whatever. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

OMG, that was your attempt at humor? I'm sorry, I thought you were just being a douche. I didn't realize you're a reerun. I'll have to try to remember that in the future.

Run along now, pissant.

|Zach| · 06-09-2010, 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

OMG, that was your attempt at humor? I'm sorry, I thought you were just being a douche. I didn't realize you're a reerun. I'll have to try to remember that in the future.

Run along now, pissant.

Dude.

Relax.

Frazod · 06-09-2010, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kepp

To me, it *sounds* like they have offered Nebraska. The report I heard this morning about the Big12 extending Missouri's ultimatum deadline to the 17th, tells me that our invitation depends on what Notre Dame does, and that the Big10 has communicated that to us.

I can't find a link to it now, but one of the SI columnists commented on this "deadline" and basically said it was a meaningless scare tactic. Of course, who knows what at this stage?

Frazod · 06-09-2010, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by |Zach|

Dude.

Relax.

I'm fine. I just had a little Ioweegen dingleberry to wipe away.

|Zach| · 06-09-2010, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

I'm fine. I just had a little Ioweegen dingleberry to wipe away.

I guess? I have no earthly idea why pretty much everyone you come in contact with has to be scourge of the world in your mind.

I mean post as you will. I mix it up with people as well but there are a lot of good posters here who you butt heads with because it seems that is just your thing.

There is just no reason for all the anger, you talk about how big of douchebags other people are but you are often the common denominator in these situations.

I mean, you are trashing alnorth. lol. seriously?

04-30-2010, 08:41 PM
Mr. Laz Don't Tease Me Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: KS Casino cash: $11047037	Big 10 Report: Conference Realignment A source in St. Louis familiar with the situation told NewsCenter 16 Thursday afternoon that Missouri will leave the Big XII and soon join the Big 10. Other schools expected to follow the Tigers are Syracuse, Pitt, Rutgers and Nebraska. Many have speculated that such an expansion would include Notre Dame but ND athletic director Jack Swarbrick told me today that the Irish prefer to stay independent in football and in the Big East for other sports. Swarbrick said maintaining football Independence is such a part of what Notre Dame is. He went on to say the Big East is a great partner for the University in other sports. "We do have to monitor what is going on," Swarbrick said. "There will be significant shifts. "Hopefully we can navigate them by keeping our football independent and keeping our Big East affiliation because that is what we care about." The move of Syracuse, Pitt and Rutgers to the Big Ten from the Big East could categorically change the landscape of the Big East itself. Thus, what Swarbrick is referring to when stating the University must continue to monitor what is going on. The interview with Swarbrick was done before the late afternoon announcement. http://www.wndu.com/sports/headlines/92447574.html Last edited by Mr. Laz; 06-10-2010 at 02:57 PM..
Posts: 95,626

06-09-2010, 05:59 AM	#2658
warpaint* Facts are stubborn things. Join Date: Dec 2008 Casino cash: $4684900	http://www.bringonthecats.com/2010/6...-big-12-twelve Adventures of the Big 12: Twelve Angry Men by Panjandrum on Jun 7, 2010 10:12 PM CDT in Adventures of the Big 12 Series 69 comments Behind closed doors at the Big 12's annual meetings, the boys got together to hash out the topics of the day. You know...important things like where we're going to hold the Women's Basketball tournament for the next three years. Just kidding. Only Baylor cares about that. Anyway, everyone knows that's not what was on everyone's mind. And, thankfully, through the power of 'multiple sources', we have a strong report of what happened when the gang got together in Kansas City this week. Enjoy. It may be the last time this current group gets together for their usual shenanigans. Texas: I call this meeting to order. Today's agenda topic: Who stays and who goes. I'm looking for a quick vote. Obviously, I like bossing all of you around, so I'm in. Oklahoma? Oklahoma: Hell, I'll stay. Do you really think I want to join the SEC or Pac-10? I still go into shell shock when a woman asks me if I have a Trojan on me, or if I walk past a store in the mall that sells 'Crocs'. Oklahoma State: In, yo. I'm afraid if I take this game to LA, I may get shot. Colorado: Staying. Unless the Pac-10 offers, and then I'll leave so fast there will be burn marks in the carpet. But they don't want me without you guys, so I'm probably still stuck with you assholes. Missouri: Anyone know where the nearest U-Haul place is? Texas: Jesus, can you be more obvious? Missouri: What? Do you think I like being irrelevant? Do you think I like hoarding championships in **ing Softball? And it's not even the cool softball where you drink and wear inappropriate t-shirts that say things like "Balls Going Deep". It's the lesbian kind of softball where half of the cars in the parking lot are pink Cadillacs, and the chicks that show up wear visors and Birkenstocks. Kansas State: I'm not really into PC, but there's a lot wrong with what you just said... Missouri: You know what? I don't care. I'm going to go the Big Ten, wipe my ass with piles of TV money, and spend my winters buried in lake effects snow. Texas: Wiping your ass with money is awesome. Missouri: So, yeah, I'm out. you, you, (points at Kansas) and double you. Kansas: Well, that wasn't nice. Texas: Alright, order...ORDER! Kansas State, what are you doing? Kansas State: Are you kidding me? Do you think I want to join the Mountain West? In. A thousand times in. Kansas: (Whispers to his attorney...) My lawyer says that it would be in my best interest to stay. Kansas State: Your lawyer? Kansas: At this point, I have the FBI and IRS so far up my ass that they've set up a branch office in my colon. So, I'm taking him wherever I go. Kansas' Lawyer: No more questions. Texas: What an embarrassment. Tech? Texas Tech: In. I go where you go my liege. Baylor: God spoke with me last night, and he said that I should form a conference with other like religious institutions supported by the Almighty himself. However, he said I had to fire Scott Drew because he's an Eddie Haskell-style prick of the highest order, and I said, "No." I like being good at basketball now. Also, those Oral Roberts kids creep me out. They're like a cult. Iowa State: I will do anything to stay in this conference. Anything. I am not above handing out sexual favors, and I don't care who asks for it. Texas: So if I ask you to have sex with a dirty hobo, you'll do it? Iowa State: Absolutely. You can even tape it if you'd like. That would be a hundred times better than joining the MAC. Texas: Alright, we'll put that on the agenda for tonight after dinner and drinks at Tomfooleries. Nebraska, what say you? Nebraska: I am 100% committed to exploring all of my options. Texas: Huh? Nebraska: I am fully invested in this conference unless something better comes along. Oklahoma: How does sitting on that fence feel? Nebraska: It kind of chafes. Texas: And, finally, I'm afraid to ask. A&M? Texas A&M: I want to join the sex conference. (Texas puts his face in his palms...) Texas: Do you mean the SEC conference? Texas A&M: Yeah, I want to join the sex conference. Oklahoma: I think we should let him go. Texas: We can't. The state legislature says he can't go anywhere without me. (Texas A&M puts his mouth over the microphone in front of him on the table and tries to swallow it...) Texas: Alright, so we've got ten stays, one go, and one guy who can't seem to figure out what he wants to do. Nebraska, what can we do to get you off of the fence? Nebraska: Nothing really. Joining the Big Ten is appealing. I mean, it's like a time warp. Neither of us have really been relevant since the late 90's, so it will be kind of comforting to be amongst like-minded people. Michigan called me and invited me over for a 90210 and Melrose Place marathon. Oklahoma: That's really sad. Nebraska: Look, I want to be with other people who think time stopped after the late 90's. Do you know how much being me sucks right now? I haven't won a conference championship in ELEVEN years. Hell, even Kansas State over there has won a conference title since I have. Kansas State: Kicked your ass too. Nebraska: off. And my basketball program is an embarrassment. In the Big Ten, Sadler ball will be considered 'up tempo', and my waning baseball program will be one of the southern most schools, so I'll have a leg up there. Texas: Everything you just said there makes me sad. Nebraska: You're sad? The only reason I'm not sad is because my entire state has been on Prozac since Tom Osborne retired. Do you really think we like Pelini? The guy wears sweatshirts on the sideline. SWEATSHIRTS. The guys in the navy blue polo shirts at Wal-Mart that greet me when I walk in look and act more professional than he does. Oklahoma: Have you considered therapy? Iowa State: I know a guy... Dan Beebe: Hey, guys, what's up? Texas: Dan, go back to your computer, keep playing Minesweeper, and we'll call you when we're done. Beebe: Sure thing, boss. Texas Tech: That was kind of harsh, don't you think? Texas: He should be thankful he still has a job. We used a cardboard cutout of him a few weeks ago at a function with a tape player attached to its back looping random, non-committal statements, and no one knew it wasn't him until Baylor tried to hand him a plate of barbecued chicken and it dropped to the floor. Texas A&M: I ate that chicken. Oklahoma: Of course you did. Texas A&M: It tasked like chicken. Kansas State: I just...nevermind. Iowa State: You guys will take him with you and not me? Texas: He brings more televisions than you do. Iowa State: But he's reeruned! Texas: He's not reeruned; he's just misunderstood. He hasn't always been this way. Iowa State: He's pissing himself again. Am I misunderstanding that? (Texas A&M smiles as the warm urine runs down his leg...) Texas: (Looks at A&M...) Look, I can't defend you forever. At some point, you're going to need to snap out of this. Texas Tech: I've always wondered what goes on inside his head. (Texas A&M stares at the wall...) (Dan Beebe lets out a shriek at his computer...) Texas: Dan, don't worry. We all hit the mine from time to time. Beebe: No, that's not it. The Pac-10 is going to offer six of you. Kansas: Thank God! Screw you assholes! Beebe: They don't want you. Missouri: HA HA. Kansas State: Suck it. Beebe: They don't want you either. Kansas State: Well, duh. Texas Tech: Who do they want? Beebe: Texas, A&M, Tech, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, and Colorado. Colorado: Oh happy daaaaaaayyyyyy! Texas Tech: Thank you sire! Oklahoma: I'm going to get sick...yep, here it comes. (Oklahoma vomits...) Oklahoma State: Shit. I'm gonna get shot. Texas: Calm down, guys. We all want to stick around, right? Well, let's not jump the gun here. If we're all in this together, we'll stay. Nebraska, you in? Nebraska: I'm firmly set on exploring all of my options. Texas: Goddamnit. Make up your damn mind. Missouri? Missouri: Kiss my ass. Texas: Do either of you even have an offer from the Big Ten? Missouri: It's just a technicality. I'll get one. Eventually. Oklahoma: You sure you want to take that bet? Missouri: I'd rather shoot for the moon than hang out with you assholes. Texas: Alright, ** it. Enjoy Conference USA. Colorado: Wait, we're not going to the Pac-10? Texas: Not if we don't have to. Colorado: Jesus Christ. I finally, through sheer dumb luck, get a shot at getting what I want, and you assholes start cock-blocking me. Screw all of you, I'm out of here. Beebe: Wait, the Pac-10 said that they may take Baylor instead of you. Colorado: SON OF A BITCH!!! Texas: Alright, Colorado's back in. Nebraska, Missouri...it's on you now. You have until Friday to figure this out. Nebraska: I will stay if you can promise me that the Big 12 Championship will be played in Kansas City at least every other year. Texas: Let's not get unreasonable now. Nebraska: Unreasonable? UNREASONABLE??? You take all of the money, get all of the good TV spots, and now you're getting the title game in the Jerrydome every year. And I'm being unreasonable? Kansas State: You did kind of vote for the unequal revenue sharing when you were, you know, good at football. Ten years ago. Oklahoma: Actually, it's been eleven years since they won the Big 12. Kansas State: I stand corrected. You were good at football eleven years ago. Nebraska: And you assholes wonder why I want to leave. Texas: Calm down everyone. Tempers are starting to get in the way of reason. Let's just handle this calmly. Nebraska and Missouri, you have until next Friday to decide if you want to stay with us. If you don't, half of us will go to the Pac-10. Colorado: It's like a nightmare, but I'm still awake... Kansas: I literally did not see this coming. Kansas State: So where do the rest of us go? Texas: Well, I can put in a good word for you with the Mountain West or Big East. Iowa State: What about me? Texas: Have you ever considered trade school? Kansas: You mean to tell me that my storied basketball program is going to slum in the Mountain West? Oklahoma: Sorry, dude, but this is about football. And, to be honest, no one is going to party with a dude that's under Federal investigation. Kansas: Point taken. It's Kansas State's fault. Kansas State: What the? Texas: Kansas, you really are an asshole. Everyone said you were, but I always gave you the benefit of the doubt. But, yeah, you really do suck. Kansas State: THANK YOU!!! Missouri: Ha ha! Beebe: If anyone needs me, I'm going to head to the shitter. Texas A&M: Me too. I'm going to the shitter for some head. (Everyone stares blankly at A&M...) Texas: I think we're done here. Everyone, we've got a week to figure this out. Go to your corners, make your calls, and we'll hash this out later. Nebraska and Missouri, the ball is in your court. To be continued???
Posts: 1,745

06-09-2010, 06:03 AM	#2659
\|Zach\| For The Glory Of The City Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Kansas City Casino cash: $3186768	Yea that is only the 5th time that has been posted. Last edited by \|Zach\|; 06-09-2010 at 06:11 AM..
Posts: 54,685

06-09-2010, 06:16 AM	#2660
\|Zach\| For The Glory Of The City Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Kansas City Casino cash: $3186768	http://www.rockmnation.com/2010/6/9/...u-links-6-9-10 Of course ... I would say that, at the very least, the odds of NU being gone are 50/50. That being the case, we have no choice but to look at what it means for Missouri. Actually, what it means is pretty simple: by Friday, Missouri could officially be inches away from both their best- and worst-case scenarios. Best-Case Scenario If Nebraska is gone, I highly doubt the Big Ten stops there. Doing so would give them their championship game and solidify their football and volleyball rosters. But Dave Matter and others put a lot of work into showing just how much of an impact the Big Ten's "footprint" could have on the Big Ten Network's revenue (I believe the figures were this: the BTN makes 70 cents a month off of subscribers in the footprint, 10 cents outside the footprint ... a gigantic difference), and no matter what Nebraska brings to the table, expanding their footprint only to include the Omaha and Lincoln markets (which combine to be the same size as Springfield/Columbia/Jeff City) would only represent a minor improvement in BTN revenue. Since very few markets even outside the footprint would be adding BTN to their packages with the addition of Nebraska (I'm sorry, but I still don't think cable companies are saying "I wasn't on board with Ohio State, Michigan and Penn State, but I'm now on board with Ohio State, Michigan, Penn State and Nebraska!"), it wouldn't really make sense to stop with just the Huskers. And maybe they're okay with not adding to the footprint ... but in a world where Nebraska's move to the Big Ten likely causes the formation of the Pac-16, which would encompass almost 40% of the nation's biggest markets, it would seem to me that the footprint and the BTN's potential new revenue would still be extremely important. The conference could still add Notre Dame to the roster if the Irish panic (I don't think it will happen, and besides, THAT wouldn't have any impact on the footprint either), which leaves at least one extra spot on the roster, since they wouldn't stop at 13. So I have to think that, in the shadow of the Pac-16 colossus forming to the west, Mizzou would either be fighting it out with Rutgers for the 14th spot on the roster, or joining Rutgers as the 13th and 14th members. I just don't think the Big Ten can stop at 12, considering what the fallout of NU-as-12th-member would create. Of course ... Worst-Case Scenario ...given that supposedly the Big 12 is quickly kaput if Nebraska leaves, then Mizzou is also one step away from the Great Plains Division of the Mountain West Conference if the Big Ten decides we are not worthy of inclusion. And in some ways, that's not the end of the world. We'd still be in a wonderful position for basketball -- we'd likely be in a division with KU, KSU and Baylor at the very least -- we'd be in position to win the Great Plains Division rather often, and ... as I joked to The Beef on e-mail yesterday, wouldn't it be so much more relaxing to be separated from Texas? Of course, that was a joke. In a world without a Big 12, clearly the Mountain West (which, in a BCS world, would likely qualify as a BCS conference, whatever it's actually called) would be able to find a decent TV deal for football ... but we're talking lots of 11:30 Fox kickoffs, games on Versus, and untelevised road games. Granted, that wouldn't be much of a step down from the current situation ... but it would absolutely be a step down. And while Mizzou could continue to recruit the state of Texas ... a) Texas is Pac-16 country now, and b) nobody's really going to care about the Mountain West ... at least not as much as the Pac-16, Big Ten and SEC. Recruiting would likely suffer. So here's what I suggest: in the next two days, get on the phone to 1) any Big Ten executive you may know, 2) your deity of choice, or 3) Tom Osborne (who might soon qualify as both #1 and #2). Mizzou needs a good break now because, if NU is indeed leaving, the ball has officially begun to roll.
Posts: 54,685

06-09-2010, 06:56 AM	#2662
Mr. Plow In Search of a Life Join Date: Dec 2005 Casino cash: $-1342609	Ok, someone answer this yes or no..... Has the big 10 offered Nebraska and Missouri? I really don't know.
Posts: 31,679

06-09-2010, 07:00 AM	#2663
Saulbadguy When a nightmare becomes real Join Date: Nov 2003 Casino cash: $736966	Nebraska is going to go from the weird cousin you only see on family reunions to the red headed step child of the Big 10. The fact that Osborne has made this a "done deal" back when this thread was started. He's still butthurt from not being allowed partial qualifiers when the Big XII was formed.
Posts: 47,020