Life Is it possible to have a best friend who is the opposite sex? - Page 8

El Jefe · 01-07-2010, 05:24 PM

I have pondered this, and I think it is virtually impossible. I have had 3 girls who I would consider best friends at points in my life, but all 3 came to a crashing end. They eventually came to a part where they wanted a dating relationship and I did not. I think for a guy to have a girl who is their best friend, the guy either has to be gay or the girl has to be married for it to work. At least in the kind of girls I deal with.

The most recent was a girl I posted about on here last year, we had known each other since we were kids. We dated for a couple of months while she was in her senior year. Then I cut it off when she went to college, and I thought things were cool. We were best friends up until this year, she has had a boyfriend for the last 5 years, and we were fine. Now that I have a girlfriend, she actually told me I either choose to date my current girlfriend or her friendship. So I chose to date this girl, and we have not spoke since, and I never saw it coming, she completely changed once I found somebody. I couldn't have cared less when she got a boyfriend, but apparently when we agreed to just be friends she still deep down wanted something more.

Anyone have any thoughts on this, Im sure it will change as the age group of the girls I am around continue to grow older each year. All of these girls except one are in college still FTR.

badgirl · 01-07-2010, 09:32 PM

I think so, I have a male nurse at work and he and I are good friends. This man isn't gay, he is very handsome and works out daily. Yes I can be friends with him and not sleep with him. I know there is an attraction there both ways, but I would never act on it cause I am with Kevin, but we will always be friends.

StcChief · 01-07-2010, 09:41 PM

It can happen as long as they have S.O.

**Lumpy** · 01-07-2010, 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgirl

I think so, I have a male nurse at work and he and I are good friends. This man isn't gay, he is very handsome and works out daily. Yes I can be friends with him and not sleep with him. I know there is an attraction there both ways, but I would never act on it cause I am with Kevin, but we will always be friends.

He's a hot nurse that lifts weights and stuff? I d/k Badgirl, that is red-lining my recently calibrated gaydar.

Regardless, TTIWWP (for visual verification that my gaydar is correct, of course)

tonyetony · 01-07-2010, 09:58 PM

Only a gay dude would really want a woman as a best friend.

**Iowanian** · 01-07-2010, 10:27 PM

I think you could look at the HOC for about 5 minutes and answer this question for yourself.

If you're gay, the answer is possibly. If you're married, the answer should be yes.

JohnnyV13 · 01-07-2010, 11:01 PM

Actually, my current best friend is a young woman.

But, our situation is really weird, and I never expected her to become my best friend.

First of all, my closet friend is someone I met online. I never expected her to become a good friend.

Second,for years, I never actually met her in person.

Third, there's a big age gap between us, which probably explains how we stayed "just friends" + the never actually meeting one another.

But, basically we just chatted online, then she starts calling me. Soon afterward, I helped her solve two large problems 1) how to deal with a stalker guy who wouldn't leave her alone (I walked her through getting a court order) and 2) she had a serious health scare which happened to fall within my father's medical specialty (a medical problem my father says is actually a very difficult one to handle in terms of "bedside manner" with a young female patient).

After that, I basically became her no. 1 person for ANY kind of advice. In a way, asking me about a problem became a security blanket for her. She'd ask me about how to deal with b/f, work problems, her family problems EVERYTHiNG.

Recently, for the first time, neither one of us does has a SO and I actually met her.

A couple of things became readily apparent: 1) I had seen pictures and they were definately attractive, but I always took them with the "internet caveat". Well....actually meeting her...I was quite surprised to see that those pictures SHORTCHANGED her, if anything and 2) if we actually spent much time around each other, in person, it sure as hell wouldn't stay platonic.

Consequently, I'm not sure you can really call us "best friends" or more like "f*** buddies in abeyance".

TigerPig · 01-07-2010, 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcchiefsfanGoJC

Is it possible to have a best friend who is the opposite sex?

It sounds like you know this, but it is a TRAIN WRECK. The only way it works is if both people don't find the other hot. But most of the time both men and women are shallow enough that we really don't like to hang out with guys and girls we don't find hot as much as the ones we do. In a situation where there are two people who are fun to be around, one being hot and one not, we ALWAYS pick the hot one. But this ends up fucking over the friendship in the end.

Genetically, we were not meant to socialize with each other. That's not to say its impossible, its just not our primary motive of sex, which always ends up getting in the way.

BTW, having a friend with benefits is still a sexual relationship that extends beyond friendship. So IMO this is not applicable to this situation.

KChiefs1 · 01-07-2010, 11:52 PM

It's possible but people gossip & usually think something is going on.

KChiefs1 · 01-07-2010, 11:55 PM

I'm really close with a gorgeous 33 year old woman I work with...I've been to her house & nothing happened. We talk a lot during the day & eat lunch together...nothing has happened. She is gorgeous & has the best looking ass you've ever seen in a jeans. I always love watching her walk away.

**luv** · 01-07-2010, 11:57 PM

Friends, yes. Best friends, no.

52decleetzu · 01-08-2010, 12:01 AM

Very, very hard.

Especially if they are hot.

Started dating a girl who I was best friends with for 15 years over the summer, we currently are not speaking. Lots of drame with her baby's father after he found out, the punk never liked me in the first place and when he found out I was banging her he flipped out.

The only reason we really had not messed around before was because both of us were with other people at the time over those years, but when noone else was in the picture things jumped off.

One other one (girl #1 best friend) I dated for a while back in the day, we stopped talking for a while but lately she wants to be "friends", and while I love her to death I only think about smashing that again so it throws me off a little bit when I am around her.

But that said, I would not change a thing because both of them are smoking hot and filthy whores in bed and I will probably end up knocking down one or both in the future again.

**Kyle DeLexus** · 01-08-2010, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 52decleetzu

Very, very hard.

Especially if they are hot.

Started dating a girl who I was best friends with for 15 years over the summer, we currently are not speaking. Lots of drame with her baby's father after he found out, the punk never liked me in the first place and when he found out I was banging her he flipped out.

The only reason we really had not messed around before was because both of us were with other people at the time over those years, but when noone else was in the picture things jumped off.

One other one (girl #1 best friend) I dated for a while back in the day, we stopped talking for a while but lately she wants to be "friends", and while I love her to death I only think about smashing that again so it throws me off a little bit when I am around her.

But that said, I would not change a thing because both of them are smoking hot and filthy whores in bed and I will probably end up knocking down one or both in the future again.

Soooooooooo no.

52decleetzu · 01-08-2010, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyle DeLexus

Soooooooooo no.

Lots of complications and stress, would not recommend.

crazycoffey · 01-08-2010, 12:25 AM

It's not impossible, it's incredibly difficult IMO. Sexual attraction is going to get in the way somehow, either; with her, you, her man, your girl...

TigerPig · 01-08-2010, 12:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KChiefs1

I'm really close with a gorgeous 33 year old woman I work with...I've been to her house & nothing happened. We talk a lot during the day & eat lunch together...nothing has happened. She is gorgeous & has the best looking ass you've ever seen in a jeans. I always love watching her walk away.

See this wouldn't work for me at all. Cause I don't just sit by and let a hot girl I get along with walk by without me trying to get more out of it.

I'm really really not trying to make it sound like you aren't a real man or anything like that (quite the opposite), but how can you sit by and watch a girl who makes you go nuts, and not HAVE to ask her out? I truly admire your restraint, but at the same time am totally perplexed by it.

01-07-2010, 05:24 PM
El Jefe Don't tread on me. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Where the peaches grow Casino cash: $9030572	Is it possible to have a best friend who is the opposite sex? I have pondered this, and I think it is virtually impossible. I have had 3 girls who I would consider best friends at points in my life, but all 3 came to a crashing end. They eventually came to a part where they wanted a dating relationship and I did not. I think for a guy to have a girl who is their best friend, the guy either has to be gay or the girl has to be married for it to work. At least in the kind of girls I deal with. The most recent was a girl I posted about on here last year, we had known each other since we were kids. We dated for a couple of months while she was in her senior year. Then I cut it off when she went to college, and I thought things were cool. We were best friends up until this year, she has had a boyfriend for the last 5 years, and we were fine. Now that I have a girlfriend, she actually told me I either choose to date my current girlfriend or her friendship. So I chose to date this girl, and we have not spoke since, and I never saw it coming, she completely changed once I found somebody. I couldn't have cared less when she got a boyfriend, but apparently when we agreed to just be friends she still deep down wanted something more. Anyone have any thoughts on this, Im sure it will change as the age group of the girls I am around continue to grow older each year. All of these girls except one are in college still FTR.
Posts: 8,540

01-07-2010, 09:32 PM	#106
badgirl CLICK, CLICK..BOOM!!!! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Johnson City, Tennessee Casino cash: $10004900	I think so, I have a male nurse at work and he and I are good friends. This man isn't gay, he is very handsome and works out daily. Yes I can be friends with him and not sleep with him. I know there is an attraction there both ways, but I would never act on it cause I am with Kevin, but we will always be friends.
Posts: 7,696

01-07-2010, 09:41 PM	#107
StcChief Playing for #1 Draft Pick Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Just West of Lambs land Casino cash: $10004900	It can happen as long as they have S.O. __________________ sig test for this screwy schema
Posts: 25,901

01-07-2010, 09:58 PM	#109
tonyetony tonyetony Join Date: May 2001 Location: Yeah Right! Casino cash: $9977948	Only a gay dude would really want a woman as a best friend.
Posts: 1,446

01-07-2010, 10:27 PM	#110
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1818454	I think you could look at the HOC for about 5 minutes and answer this question for yourself. If you're gay, the answer is possibly. If you're married, the answer should be yes.
Posts: 62,925

01-07-2010, 11:01 PM	#111
JohnnyV13 Veteran Join Date: May 2003 Location: Tucson AZ Casino cash: $5405200	Actually, my current best friend is a young woman. But, our situation is really weird, and I never expected her to become my best friend. First of all, my closet friend is someone I met online. I never expected her to become a good friend. Second,for years, I never actually met her in person. Third, there's a big age gap between us, which probably explains how we stayed "just friends" + the never actually meeting one another. But, basically we just chatted online, then she starts calling me. Soon afterward, I helped her solve two large problems 1) how to deal with a stalker guy who wouldn't leave her alone (I walked her through getting a court order) and 2) she had a serious health scare which happened to fall within my father's medical specialty (a medical problem my father says is actually a very difficult one to handle in terms of "bedside manner" with a young female patient). After that, I basically became her no. 1 person for ANY kind of advice. In a way, asking me about a problem became a security blanket for her. She'd ask me about how to deal with b/f, work problems, her family problems EVERYTHiNG. Recently, for the first time, neither one of us does has a SO and I actually met her. A couple of things became readily apparent: 1) I had seen pictures and they were definately attractive, but I always took them with the "internet caveat". Well....actually meeting her...I was quite surprised to see that those pictures SHORTCHANGED her, if anything and 2) if we actually spent much time around each other, in person, it sure as hell wouldn't stay platonic. Consequently, I'm not sure you can really call us "best friends" or more like "f*** buddies in abeyance".
Posts: 4,222

01-07-2010, 11:52 PM	#113
KChiefs1 I’m a Mahomo! Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Mid-Missouri Casino cash: $6771021	It's possible but people gossip & usually think something is going on. __________________
Posts: 54,038

01-07-2010, 11:55 PM	#114
KChiefs1 I’m a Mahomo! Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Mid-Missouri Casino cash: $6771021	I'm really close with a gorgeous 33 year old woman I work with...I've been to her house & nothing happened. We talk a lot during the day & eat lunch together...nothing has happened. She is gorgeous & has the best looking ass you've ever seen in a jeans. I always love watching her walk away. __________________
Posts: 54,038

01-07-2010, 11:57 PM	#115
luv You think you can get by this? Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Springfield, MO Casino cash: $-1170000	Friends, yes. Best friends, no.
Posts: 63,558

01-08-2010, 12:01 AM	#116
52decleetzu Banned Join Date: Sep 2009 Casino cash: $9904900	Very, very hard. Especially if they are hot. Started dating a girl who I was best friends with for 15 years over the summer, we currently are not speaking. Lots of drame with her baby's father after he found out, the punk never liked me in the first place and when he found out I was banging her he flipped out. The only reason we really had not messed around before was because both of us were with other people at the time over those years, but when noone else was in the picture things jumped off. One other one (girl #1 best friend) I dated for a while back in the day, we stopped talking for a while but lately she wants to be "friends", and while I love her to death I only think about smashing that again so it throws me off a little bit when I am around her. But that said, I would not change a thing because both of them are smoking hot and filthy whores in bed and I will probably end up knocking down one or both in the future again.
Posts: 33

01-08-2010, 12:25 AM	#119
crazycoffey .......... Join Date: Dec 2006 Casino cash: $4167901	It's not impossible, it's incredibly difficult IMO. Sexual attraction is going to get in the way somehow, either; with her, you, her man, your girl...
Posts: 28,392