Is it possible to have a best friend who is the opposite sex?

[El Jefe]

I have pondered this, and I think it is virtually impossible. I have had 3 girls who I would consider best friends at points in my life, but all 3 came to a crashing end. They eventually came to a part where they wanted a dating relationship and I did not. I think for a guy to have a girl who is their best friend, the guy either has to be gay or the girl has to be married for it to work. At least in the kind of girls I deal with.

The most recent was a girl I posted about on here last year, we had known each other since we were kids. We dated for a couple of months while she was in her senior year. Then I cut it off when she went to college, and I thought things were cool. We were best friends up until this year, she has had a boyfriend for the last 5 years, and we were fine. Now that I have a girlfriend, she actually told me I either choose to date my current girlfriend or her friendship. So I chose to date this girl, and we have not spoke since, and I never saw it coming, she completely changed once I found somebody. I couldn't have cared less when she got a boyfriend, but apparently when we agreed to just be friends she still deep down wanted something more.

Anyone have any thoughts on this, Im sure it will change as the age group of the girls I am around continue to grow older each year. All of these girls except one are in college still FTR.

[Slayer Diablo]

Originally Posted by kcchiefsfanGoJC

I have pondered this, and I think it is virtually impossible. I have had 3 girls who I would consider best friends at points in my life, but all 3 came to a crashing end. They eventually came to a part where they wanted a dating relationship and I did not. I think for a guy to have a girl who is their best friend, the guy either has to be gay or the girl has to be married for it to work. At least in the kind of girls I deal with.


...

It must be a type thing. There've been some women that dating was innevitable, but I've been friends with others that I never ended up dating because they had a different taste in who they usually dated.

[bevischief]

2 or 4 legged female...

[el borracho]

It is definitely possible; my closest friend in the world is a girl I have known since we were in our early 20s (more than 15 years ago).

[Valiant]

Originally Posted by EyePod

If they're really ugly, then yes.

But seriously the hard part is when there's other people involved. I know I wouldn't love it if my fiancé was hanging out with the same guy all the time. And I don't think I'm being ridiculous about it either....

If you are not attracted at all to them and vice versa, then yeah.. If they are attractive at all, then no..

[CCU2000]

Originally Posted by the_spatula

One of my closest friends is a girl. She's awesome. She has the most masculine line of thinking of any girl that I've ever met, and she has an incredible sense of humor. She happens to be very attractive, too. We became very close friends four years ago and I can't tell you how many times we've slept in the same bed, yet we've never been intimate. It is a 100% platonic relationship.

Countless people have informed me on how strange they think our relationship is... and I always tell them that I completely agree. It's strange as shit. I never saw coming/didn't think it was possible either.

you are *****in gay, please cut your dick off, you have no use for it.

[Sure-Oz]

No you can't, esp when you get a GF, she becomes your fbff

[Stewie]

NO WAY!!!

[JD10367]

The first 1:00 of this. (They let it run too long, the last 1:27 is pointless to the argument.)

[keg in kc]

It's possible. So is winning the lottery or surviving multiple lightning strikes.

[Kyle DeLexus]

Friends yes, best friends no. You'd have to be extremely feminine or she'd have to be extremely masculine and the result of that would be there's no attraction. That's why as kids it's possible since there are a lot of "tomboy" girls and house playing dudes.

[SPATCH]

Originally Posted by JD10367

#1: you sure you're not gay?

#2: pics of her, please.

How can I say this without sounding like an arrogant asshole?

I have dated a lot of different girls since I have met her. I don't want to say that I date girls that are better looking than she is, but I would have to say that they are.

However, even when I have been single, we haven't ever done anything intimate or had serious talks about dating eachother. She's a different kind of girl, to be honest; I can't really explain it. She's like a mix between Mary from "There's Something About Mary" and Sarah Silverman. But, neither of us are sexually attracted to one another.

Her and I like to blame our peculiar "platonic-ness" on a cosmic happening; we were born on the exact same day in history (star-crossed non-lovers).

Sidenote: You should have seen us the night we both turned 21. Complete shit show.

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by the_spatula

How can I say this without sounding like an arrogant asshole?

I have dated a lot of different girls since I have met her. I don't want to say that I date girls that are better looking than she is, but I would have to say that they are.

However, even when I have been single, we haven't ever done anything intimate or had serious talks about dating eachother. She's a different kind of girl, to be honest; I can't really explain it. She's like a mix between Mary from "There's Something About Mary" and Sarah Silverman. But, neither of us are sexually attracted to one another.

Her and I like to blame our peculiar "platonic-ness" on a cosmic happening; we were born on the exact same day in history (star-crossed non-lovers).

Sidenote: You should have seen us the night we both turned 21. Complete shit show.

Meh. You'll **** her one of these days.

[ziggysocki]

Originally Posted by frazod

Meh. You'll **** her one of these days.

This... if for no other reason than curiosity finally getting the best of you both.

[jidar]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

My best friend in grad school was a woman who was probably 22 years old and single, and at the time I was 29 and married. And my best friend in my first Denver job was a married woman about my age. In both cases, we were good friends for a long time until our life circumstances changed, and we still do the Christmas card exchange.

I imagine that if all parties were single, there would've been dating involved in each case. But in all cases at least one of us was married, so nothing ever happened or was even considered or discussed. We were just good friends.

Having said that, I guess there are three caveats:

First, as donger said, one's spouse is one's best friend by default. I'm talking about best friends outside marriage.

Second, we were best friends in our common environments, but not outside it. At grad school, I hung out with my friend and we had lunch together and did projects together and stuff, but it's not like we did anything socially outside school. When the day was done, we went home. In the work environment, it was the same deal. We ate lunch together and tried to get on projects together and maybe once or twice in six years we snuck out early to a happy hour, but that was it. (There were a few business trips in that case too, which is why we tried to work on projects together since you'd end up eating dinner together and stuff and you didn't want to hang out with coworkers you didn't really like, but there weren't many of those.) These people were definitely my best friends at the time and I spent lots of time with them at school and at work, but when you're married, you tend to do almost all your social stuff with your spouse.

Third, "best friend" can be defined different ways. I have a handful of past friends that I see once every two or three years who have Hall of Fame status, and I view them differently than my definition of a "best friend". I view a "best friend" as a person who I currently spend my time with and talk to frequently, but my "best friend" at any given time may not be Hall of Fame stature.

So....

The word "best" then doesn't mean that much to you.

[Lumpy]

Originally Posted by SDChiefs

When you learn to figure out women, write a book about it. You will be richer than Bill Gates. Most women I know, can't even understand women.

I tried to write a book about women once, but it ended up becoming a Choose Your Own Adventure format. Heh.