Biggest Regret(s) of Your Life

[GabyKeepsMeWarm]

Young guy at work has kinda taken a liking to me lately. He found out about my “former life”, and he’s been filled with questions and always chatting me up.

He’s a good kid; bright, handsome, and hopefully doesn’t fall into the trappings of life before he even has a chance to get started.

At any rate…. While sharing some stories, I fell upon one that turned into my total regret, combined with rummaging around in some old boxes where I found a few “treasures”, an old photo of my dad with me and my siblings. Been looking for that photo for a long time, and it’s more special after my dad’s passing a few years ago. Found my old Blockbuster member card. An old flyer from my band of 20+ years ago. A huge chunk of ticket stubs from movies and shows I went to from the early 2000’s. And a buttload of old call sheets from the first movie I worked on. Then I found an unopened card/letter that was meant for Spencer Grammer. My heart sank.

I briefly dated her in 2001/2002. We worked together at first, and I was her trainer. We had immediate rapport and chemistry in spite of our age difference. She was only 18 and I was 25. We’d worked together for several weeks before I discovered she was a star’s daughter. Was a busy Saturday and I’m working the info stand, customers everywhere, and I’m locked in on the search computer when I hear her familiar voice, “Hey Tom! Just wanted to say hi! And this is my dad!” I no longer than have the words, “hey Spence”, out of my mouth and there’s Frasier ****ing Crane. Oh. Right. Grammer. Well **** me…

Things were pretty much normal for the next several weeks as we worked aside each other. We were closing together one night and it came up that I had a bootleg DVD of Royal Tennenbaums. She hadn’t seen it, and asked if we could hang out together after work and watch it at my place. Folks, I had reservations knowing her age, but **** it, it’s just watching a movie, right? Well, we’re about 30 minutes into the movie and she puts the moves on me, flat out asking if she can kiss me. So yup. You can imagine how that played out. And it played out again several more times over the following weeks. And it was great. We got along perfectly. No games, no arguments, just pure chemistry.

And then she was going to take off to NYC for a couple months for classes…. And during this time I ran across an online article with her and her dad and according to the site, she was only 16 years old. I FREAKED. I ghosted her completely. She’d call, I never answered. Emails. Nope. Finally talked to her after hearing she was in a serious car wreck and I told her that we couldn’t see each other anymore. Well, turns out the online article’s dates were wrong, she was in fact 18 turning 19, and while it was maybe a slightly inappropriate age gap, it wasn’t illegal, and I wasn’t a sicko getting hunted by the FBI.

I ****ed up. Colossal **** up. I’ve found love a few times since. Plenty of relationships. Nothing has ever worked out. And now I’m middle aged and still single. I haven’t obsessed about her or thought too much about it, but yeah, I regret how that played out. I was naive, listening to my friends too much and not trusting myself enough at that time. I’ll never know if we could’ve continued to be a couple, but I’ll be damned if I haven’t had several moments of wondering what could have been.

Second worst regret…. I’m ashamed to admit I got a DUI after graduating college. Was on my way from the bars with a buddy to grab a bite to eat and “sober up”, but I was driving 7 over the limit, got popped, and spent the night in the pokie. Mom picked me up the following day and her favorite cousin had died the same day. I wished the world would just swallow me up. I spent a good chunk of all the money gifts from graduating college on paying fines, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more ashamed in my life.


So what about you CPer’s? What are your most regrettable moments?

[BWillie]

Originally Posted by DCTwister

Lots of things I would probably have done differently, but I can’t complain really.

I always say I probably should have drank less in HS/college/20s. But I did have a hell of a time, and at this point I’m counting decades of sobriety and enjoying not being hungover or dead or whatever. I’d rather be a non-drinker but in order to get here I needed to learn the hard way.

I could have been more mature my relationships with women but those experiences of trial and error led my to my wife of over 20 years who is the most kick-ass person ever. I got my shit together just in time.

I worked for a lot of assholes and there are always things you can do better in your professional life to be a better employee. But in the end I’m wired for entrepreneurship and all those bad experiences led me to my own business and some years I make 10x what I was making working for someone else. If I had been a better employee I wouldn’t be as good at what I do running my own thing. If anything I would have just cut to the chase sooner if I knew what I know now.

Right on.

[duncan_idaho]

Originally Posted by Bearcat

There was a Car & Driver article a while back where they were rating an Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio against a BMW M3 and came to the conclusion that the Alfa Romeo was girlfriend material and the M3 was marriage material (they went with the girlfriend material, but that's not important!).... so, tell her sure, it may have been fun to ride the curves through the Amalfi Coast for a weekend, but that still doesn't compare to the sweet daily driving and Idaho views.

Hilarious! I ended up just telling her, basically straight-up, about this thread and what I said. She appreciated that.

I did ride curves through the Amalfi Coast for a weekend a few years ago, BTW. Mrs. Idaho's! Ha!

[BigRichard]

I wish I would have set off that nuke in Wuhan just prior to the Covid outbreak… I pussied out.

[penguinz]

Originally Posted by 007

Having disk replacement surgery. I'm worse now than before. Should have never done it.

Really? I had a disc replaced and I'm in the best shape of my life.

[007]

Originally Posted by penguinz

Really? I had a disc replaced and I'm in the best shape of my life.

Will all I can say is you are one of the lucky ones. Certainly didn't work out for me.