Adding A New Attraction To Heaven

[Jesus Christ]

My father recently came into a buttload of cash from gambling on your Kansas City Chiefs in the super bowl. We are adding one attraction to heaven with the excess funds. Help us decide what to add! Amen.

[Jesus Christ]

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

I want something that isn't available on earth. You need to give me a reason to come to heaven.

I know that your dad can create life AT WILL so I want you to create a restaurant where the most famous actresses of all time serve the patrons dinner and drinks.

You enter a height, hair color and decade of choice for your server in the restaurant lobby, and they are chosen at random after entering that criteria.

For instance, if you want to be served by Carrie Fisher, you would roll the dice with "5-1, brunette, 1980s."

When your sit down, you are presented with your lottery server, and you can then select her attire based on her movie career. For instance, if you won Carrie Fisher you could select "ceremonial gown and necklace," "hoth jumpsuit," "cloud city formal," "metal bikini," "endor camo" or "ewok native dress."

As this is a classy establishment, absolutely NO nude servers will be permitted.

You can see the rest of the tables in the same area, so as to increase your entertainment value.

After you are served dinner and drinks, your server will join you for dessert and conversation, and then she will escort you to a private room for an evening of passionate sex.

In the morning your server awakens you with oral pleasure, a mimosa and brunch, and then you select your favorite movie in which they star, and you watch it together.

You've got some issues, bro.

[Jesus Christ]

Originally Posted by smithandrew051

Dinosaur ****ing...or is that already available?

Originally Posted by lewdog

What was the name of your pet dinosaur?

/jjjchiefs

You kids still believe in dinosaurs?

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

I want something that isn't available on earth. You need to give me a reason to come to heaven.

I know that your dad can create life AT WILL so I want you to create a restaurant where the most famous actresses of all time serve the patrons dinner and drinks.

You enter a height, hair color and decade of choice for your server in the restaurant lobby, and they are chosen at random after entering that criteria.

For instance, if you want to be served by Carrie Fisher, you would roll the dice with "5-1, brunette, 1980s."

When your sit down, you are presented with your lottery server, and you can then select her attire based on her movie career. For instance, if you won Carrie Fisher you could select "ceremonial gown and necklace," "hoth jumpsuit," "cloud city formal," "metal bikini," "endor camo" or "ewok native dress."

As this is a classy establishment, absolutely NO nude servers will be permitted.

You can see the rest of the tables in the same area, so as to increase your entertainment value.

After you are served dinner and drinks, your server will join you for dessert and conversation, and then she will escort you to a private room for an evening of passionate sex.

In the morning your server awakens you with oral pleasure, a mimosa and brunch, and then you select your favorite movie in which they star, and you watch it together.

Important question: does the dessert menu include lemon meringue pie?

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Important question: does the dessert menu include lemon meringue pie?

God can create life at will, so it follows that he can create desserts at will.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

God can create life at will, so it follows that he can create desserts at will.

Then I cast my vote for your scenario, with one amendment: there are two lottery servers for every table.

[ptlyon]

Originally Posted by Third Eye

It’s true, the cake is a lie.

All you can eat fish all the time tho

[Jesus Christ]

As of right now it looks like we're going to be reinstating the free cake in Heaven.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by Jesus Christ

You've got some issues, bro.

Do I?

I think I've successfully consolidated three of my most prized interests:

Women, movies and food.

And I've done in it a manner that enhances the experience of each one.

I would have gone with a sportsbar here to roll in football, but we've already perfected that on earth.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Then I cast my vote for your scenario, with one amendment: there are two lottery servers for every table.

This sounds good on it's face, but you're inevitably going to make one of them jealous or insecure because you're going to give more attention to your favorite.

I always say don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

This sounds good on it's face, but you're inevitably going to make one of them jealous or insecure because you're going to give more attention to your favorite.

I always say don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

It's heaven. God won't let that happen.

[eDave]

When Jesus Christ says you are a supreme ****head, you should probably listen. Satan is a big fan of Hammock Parties.

[Jesus Christ]

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

Do I?

I think I've successfully consolidated three of my most prized interests:

Women, movies and food.

And I've done in it a manner that enhances the experience of each one.

I would have gone with a sportsbar here to roll in football, but we've already perfected that on earth.

I didn't say they were negative issues.

[Hammock Parties]

Thank you, Jesus.

I look forward to the next issue.

[Jenson71]

I picked scooters, because I'm imagining a fairly large space, geographically, and that seems like a fun way to get around for those of us who don't want to exercise the wings.

Do the wings take energy to utilize, or would it be like blinking?

I think I need something like a brochure to make a more informed choice. Also, are you weeding out the votes from users who will not be in heaven?

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Jenson71

I picked scooters, because I'm imagining a fairly large space, geographically, and that seems like a fun way to get around for those of us who don't want to exercise the wings.

Do the wings take energy to utilize, or would it be like blinking?

I think I need something like a brochure to make a more informed choice. Also, are you weeding out the votes from users who will not be in heaven?

Over 30 people have voted so he must not be weeding them out.