Your best Story

[Iowanian]

Tell us your best story. Your best day, the wildest thing you've seen, an event in your life.

I'm looking for the story that defines your life, the one you'd tell your grandkids around a campfire, the one you and your old friends re-tell half a box of beer into a night.

Tell us about the time you saw your dad kill a bear with his case knife, the day you won the lottery, the turd that was born with your child, the day your grandpa took you fishing.....good, bad, ugly. Your best story.

The only rule, it has to be true to the best of your memory. Go.

[eDave]

Way to many to pull a 'best'. I've had a wild life. Many are best kept to myself.

[ptlyon]

Originally Posted by Why Not?

Almost lost my hand while driving through a car wash one time. That was weird.

Got a blowjob in a car wash once, and that was not weird

[Pushead2]

I took a shit on the E train around 2am coming home from work one night when I was 17.

I simply just couldn't hold it. It was an empty car, but it was stuck between stations. I had a box cutter on me from work so I cut my boxers in half, unleashed liquid diarrhea in the corner, wiped my ass and moved to the next car.

[eDave]

Originally Posted by ptlyon

Got a blowjob in a car wash once, and that was not weird

Billay or Discuss Thrower (sorry, can't tell those losers apart) got one in a porta potty not too long ago.

I'd rather go without in that case.

[BucEyedPea]

Originally Posted by eDave

Way to many to pull a 'best'. I've had a wild life.

Semi wild here—a brush with the sex-slave trade in France, dealing with the Egyptian carpet black market, incident with some camels, a horse and a donkey in the Sahara desert.

Oh and that time in Tibet....

[ptlyon]

Originally Posted by eDave

I'd rather go without in that case.

Did I ever tell you about the worst one I ever had?

It was great

[BucEyedPea]

If it has to be the one that defines me—it would have to be being born in a drain pipe and found by prostitutes who raised me in a brothel.

Yeah, that's the one.

[eDave]

Originally Posted by ptlyon

Did I ever tell you about the worst one I ever had?

It was great

Do tell.

[ptlyon]

Originally Posted by eDave

Do tell.

That's a joke son. A real flag waver.

[Scorp]

Well it was the summer of 1978 and I was an altar boy at our small catholic church......

[eDave]

Originally Posted by ptlyon

That's a joke son. A real flag waver.

Whoosh. You make a solid argument.

[Baby Lee]

Went to a pre-law weekend as a sophomore in HS, at of all places Washburn Univ. Mom dropped me off, and we settled in.

Turns out there was also a cheerleader camp going on that weekend, and we were dormed with them.

Not a wink of sleep the entire weekend, and ironically the nice thing was it wasn't all 'bow chicka bow wow.' Snuggle and watch TV, talk about respective HSs, run for snacks, a few pranks, then the making out and the retiring to discreet locations.

Very nice experience for a mid-teen. I recommend it highly.

Nothing world-shaking, just an unexpected treat in the middle of Kansas. My own little John Hughes movie.

[Iowanian]

Don't tell me what the story is about.....tell it. Details damn it, was it cold? Did it hurt?

[KS Smitty]

You guys suck at stories.

My first date with Mr. Smitty consisted of going out in the boonies on his Yamaha 360. We had a lot of wooded areas around and many a day I and whatever friends were around would go tramping through them, mushroom hunting sometimes but usually just exploring. One beautiful day my best friend Punkin and I were on the Flenthrope property when we heard a motorcycle and here comes Kipp. He had tracked us using my shoe prints. Anyway he asked if I wanted to go for a ride and I said sure!. We drove all over that property that day but the highlight of the ride was when we were going up a fairly steep hill. Kipp drops a gear and revs up the engine and suddenly we are at a 90 degree angle with the earth. I could feel just how close we were to going over backwards! We made it to the top and kept on going. That had to have been the most exhilarating experience of my life at the time. We spent the rest of the summer on that dirt bike cruising back roads, woods, creeks, wherever we could get in. The oil pump quit and seized the motor on us one day out in the country. We grabbed a big rock from the side of the road and beat on the kick starter until we got it broke loose and the bike started. After that we had to mix the oil directly in with the gas ‘til we rebuilt it. It was quite the courtship.

Fast forward 5 years or so…We are riding the 360 around town when Kipp turns up the alley to go to his folks house. His dad and brother are in the backyard doing something and when I saw them I KNEW a wheelie was forthcoming, I told Kipp “don’t pop a wheelie, I don’t have on the right shoes”. Did he listen??? Noooooo not Kipp, he dropped a gear gassed it and up we went! Of course my feet just slid right off the foot pegs and I’m running behind the bike with my arms still around his waist thinking ok, I can hop back on, THEN he shifted gears and pulled my arms loose. I did a tuck and roll, he threw down the bike, Dad and Leland came running to see if I was alright. I said to Kipp “I told you not to pop a wheelie” and went in the house. I was fine, had a little gravel in my elbow but nothing else. Dad Smith told me later that was when he knew I was the girl for Kipp.

[seclark]

Originally Posted by KS Smitty

You guys suck at stories.

My first date with Mr. Smitty consisted of going out in the boonies on his Yamaha 360. We had a lot of wooded areas around and many a day I and whatever friends were around would go tramping through them, mushroom hunting sometimes but usually just exploring. One beautiful day my best friend Punkin and I were on the Flenthrope property when we heard a motorcycle and here comes Kipp. He had tracked us using my shoe prints. Anyway he asked if I wanted to go for a ride and I said sure!. We drove all over that property that day but the highlight of the ride was when we were going up a fairly steep hill. Kipp drops a gear and revs up the engine and suddenly we are at a 90 degree angle with the earth. I could feel just how close we were to going over backwards! We made it to the top and kept on going. That had to have been the most exhilarating experience of my life at the time. We spent the rest of the summer on that dirt bike cruising back roads, woods, creeks, wherever we could get in. The oil pump quit and seized the motor on us one day out in the country. We grabbed a big rock from the side of the road and beat on the kick starter until we got it broke loose and the bike started. After that we had to mix the oil directly in with the gas ‘til we rebuilt it. It was quite the courtship.

Fast forward 5 years or so…We are riding the 360 around town when Kipp turns up the alley to go to his folks house. His dad and brother are in the backyard doing something and when I saw them I KNEW a wheelie was forthcoming, I told Kipp “don’t pop a wheelie, I don’t have on the right shoes”. Did he listen??? Noooooo not Kipp, he dropped a gear gassed it and up we went! Of course my feet just slid right off the foot pegs and I’m running behind the bike with my arms still around his waist thinking ok, I can hop back on, THEN he shifted gears and pulled my arms loose. I did a tuck and roll, he threw down the bike, Dad and Leland came running to see if I was alright. I said to Kipp “I told you not to pop a wheelie” and went in the house. I was fine, had a little gravel in my elbow but nothing else. Dad Smith told me later that was when he knew I was the girl for Kipp.

^this is a good one^
c'mon you a-holes, it's Friday afternoon. entertain!
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