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Old 12-24-2014, 03:36 PM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Gay Day With Clay VI: Return of the Fed-I

Puke Claywalker has returned to his home planet of Postooine in an attempt to rescue his friend Han Trollo from the clutches of the vile gangster Clarka the Hunt.

Little does Puke know that the CHECKDOWN EMPIRE has secretly begun construction on a new armored ennui station even less powerful than the first dreaded Dink Star.

When completed, this ultimate weapon will spell certain doom for the small band of rebels struggling to restore touchdowns to the franchise...

So let's do this shit.

I wake up in the morning and spend some time with my girlfriend. She's always there for me. I'm actually getting work done here. Yes, i get to watch Jay Cutler getting sacked for work. It's a swell gig.



Let's get ready for our gay day. It's a bit chilly so I decide to wear corduroys. I got them on sale from Jos. A Bank!



Here's our first stop! Look at all those ****ing TVs. I already have a TV but just walking into Sam's Club and seeing them all gives me wood.



What should we ****ing buy at Sam's Club? All the necessities...hummus, celery, apples, mother****ing tuna because this growing boy needs his protein...also I'm 33 in seven days and don't want to lose my hair. **** you. I'm heading this shit off at the pass. Also, I am a cheap bastard and I'm not springing extra for Rogaine.



FUUUUUU*******. This is indeed a Star Wars themed Gay Day. I didn't buy these but just walking past them makes me hop in the air and click my heels together.



OH MAN I WALKED PAST THIS THOUGH AND YOU BET I BOUGHT IT.



**** yes. I am slightly European, so these will go great with my super gay tea breaks. 10 bucks for the whole tin, too. I love Sam's Club. The Force is strong with me, mother****er.



Speaking of Lucasfilm references, look, it's Indiana ****ing Jones! I have a moment of regret, because I'm also wearing a leather jacket, and could have brought my fedora. I could have totally posed with this guy. ****.



I skip the gratuitous slice of Sam's Club pizza and decided it's lunchtime. **** going to these places, though. If you eat at Panera bread you are either fat, a really stupid college girl, or just have terrible taste in restaurants. Actually, all three of those things more than likely.



THIS IS WHERE I'M EATING. **** ALL OF YOU WHO DON'T LIKE IT.



Hey look, pagan symbols and pitch awards. I'm ****ing down. This is also my first time here.



Would you look at all that food that will make me shit the rainbow later. LET'S DO THIS. God this place smells wonderful. It's time to feed myself.



I get my first plate. The service here sucks and they don't even bring me water. I had to get my own utensils. No ****s given. I'd rather not tip a dirty hindu anyway.



My water ****ing arrives after an extra from Temple Doom finally gets done with his human sacrifices, and I begin my second plate. This food is awesome. Kali Ma, shakti de!



KALI MAAAAAAAAA! KALI MAAAAAAAAA! The Daal is a bit runny, but it's all gonna be runny in a few hours so no big deal. I am ****ing stuffed. Note that I didn't get a refill on my water, because ****ing Punjab was too busy ripping some guy's heart out and lowering him into a pit of lava.



We pause for a second to reflect on life. Current attitude: gluttonous. I am a Fed-I, like my father before me. GET IT. I FED MYSELF, SO I AM A FED-I. Oh, **** you.



We're not done ****ing around with indian shit, so let's go next door.



YES. Look at all this shit. **** Price Chopper, Hyvee and Aldi. This place is where it's at.



Also to be ****ed: your American swill cookies. I get my cookies imported. Also, they're called "biscuits." You philistines.



Hit the second post and see how we end this adventure.
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Old 12-25-2014, 11:42 AM   #136
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Originally Posted by Simply Red View Post
I will go with EHarmony - I think I was booted from match for calling some woman a tramp or something. Or maybe it was the one I asked to send a photo of her clam.
EHarmony makes you go through 4 or 5 steps before you actually get to send personalized messages to anyone.

It also doles out the hos in slow doses. It's not a meat market like these other sites.

It also costs $250 for one year, but you can afford that.
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-25-2014, 11:42 AM   #137
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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Originally Posted by crazycoffey View Post
Open invite to join us for Christmas any year, if I work, you can ride along, go to the inlaws with me or the always fun joining of people without family or people tired of family game night!
You seem nice. Your wife is pretty - does she have a sister?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Alex's Losses View Post
Allow me to be your Obi-Wang.

You would be in the 1% on these sites.

I suggest EHarmony or Match.com, depending on how slow you want to go.
My sword is your sword.

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Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball View Post
SR would clean up on match.
You seem nice, pay you later for that.
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Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-25-2014, 12:08 PM   #138
crazycoffey crazycoffey is offline
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[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]You seem nice. Your wife is pretty - does she have a sister?
Yes she does. She's dating someone right now, but I invite you to compete for her. Want to see her clam pic?
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Old 12-25-2014, 12:10 PM   #139
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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Originally Posted by crazycoffey View Post
Yes she does. She's dating someone right now, but I invite you to compete for her. Want to see her clam pic?
send any clams you may have! - thank you!
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Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-25-2014, 12:11 PM   #140
Sweet Daddy Hate Sweet Daddy Hate is offline
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Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-25-2014, 12:13 PM   #141
crazycoffey crazycoffey is offline
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Clay, you ever been to the St. Louis arch? We can eat lunch in ferguson, but have to be out of there before sunset. I may even let you put your biscuits in my pantry......
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Old 12-25-2014, 12:15 PM   #142
The Franchise The Franchise is offline
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The Franchise is obviously part of the inner Circle.The Franchise is obviously part of the inner Circle.The Franchise is obviously part of the inner Circle.The Franchise is obviously part of the inner Circle.The Franchise is obviously part of the inner Circle.The Franchise is obviously part of the inner Circle.The Franchise is obviously part of the inner Circle.The Franchise is obviously part of the inner Circle.The Franchise is obviously part of the inner Circle.The Franchise is obviously part of the inner Circle.The Franchise is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-25-2014, 12:27 PM   #143
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Originally Posted by Dicky McElephant View Post
You play Magic?
Just with my cousin.

And my ex-gf if she ever wants to get back together.
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-25-2014, 12:27 PM   #144
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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Clay, you ever been to the St. Louis arch? We can eat lunch in ferguson, but have to be out of there before sunset. I may even let you put your biscuits in my pantry......
is that town still a mess?
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Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-25-2014, 12:29 PM   #145
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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Just with my cousin.

And my ex-gf if she ever wants to get back together.
CP needs to recruit your fat cousin - he'd be the ultimate troll w/ his legendary nerd+troll qualities.
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Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-25-2014, 12:29 PM   #146
Sweet Daddy Hate Sweet Daddy Hate is offline
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Just with my cousin.

And my ex-gf if she ever wants to get back together.
Magic: The Fappening.
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Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-25-2014, 12:30 PM   #147
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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I am off to mom's house - I will be back on later on. I can't leave you all right now, unfortunately.
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Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-25-2014, 12:31 PM   #148
Sweet Daddy Hate Sweet Daddy Hate is offline
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CP needs to recruit your fat cousin - he'd be the ultimate troll w/ his legendary nerd+troll qualities.


There is....another?
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Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-25-2014, 12:32 PM   #149
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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CP needs to recruit your fat cousin - he'd be the ultimate troll w/ his legendary nerd+troll qualities.
He thinks he's too good for this place.
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-25-2014, 12:32 PM   #150
Sweet Daddy Hate Sweet Daddy Hate is offline
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I am off to mom's house - I will be back on later on. I can't leave you all right now, unfortunately.
Have a good time, SR.
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Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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