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Old 12-24-2014, 03:36 PM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Gay Day With Clay VI: Return of the Fed-I
Puke Claywalker has returned to his home planet of Postooine in an attempt to rescue his friend Han Trollo from the clutches of the vile gangster Clarka the Hunt.

Little does Puke know that the CHECKDOWN EMPIRE has secretly begun construction on a new armored ennui station even less powerful than the first dreaded Dink Star.

When completed, this ultimate weapon will spell certain doom for the small band of rebels struggling to restore touchdowns to the franchise...

So let's do this shit.

I wake up in the morning and spend some time with my girlfriend. She's always there for me. I'm actually getting work done here. Yes, i get to watch Jay Cutler getting sacked for work. It's a swell gig.



Let's get ready for our gay day. It's a bit chilly so I decide to wear corduroys. I got them on sale from Jos. A Bank!



Here's our first stop! Look at all those ****ing TVs. I already have a TV but just walking into Sam's Club and seeing them all gives me wood.



What should we ****ing buy at Sam's Club? All the necessities...hummus, celery, apples, mother****ing tuna because this growing boy needs his protein...also I'm 33 in seven days and don't want to lose my hair. **** you. I'm heading this shit off at the pass. Also, I am a cheap bastard and I'm not springing extra for Rogaine.



FUUUUUU*******. This is indeed a Star Wars themed Gay Day. I didn't buy these but just walking past them makes me hop in the air and click my heels together.



OH MAN I WALKED PAST THIS THOUGH AND YOU BET I BOUGHT IT.



**** yes. I am slightly European, so these will go great with my super gay tea breaks. 10 bucks for the whole tin, too. I love Sam's Club. The Force is strong with me, mother****er.



Speaking of Lucasfilm references, look, it's Indiana ****ing Jones! I have a moment of regret, because I'm also wearing a leather jacket, and could have brought my fedora. I could have totally posed with this guy. ****.



I skip the gratuitous slice of Sam's Club pizza and decided it's lunchtime. **** going to these places, though. If you eat at Panera bread you are either fat, a really stupid college girl, or just have terrible taste in restaurants. Actually, all three of those things more than likely.



THIS IS WHERE I'M EATING. **** ALL OF YOU WHO DON'T LIKE IT.



Hey look, pagan symbols and pitch awards. I'm ****ing down. This is also my first time here.



Would you look at all that food that will make me shit the rainbow later. LET'S DO THIS. God this place smells wonderful. It's time to feed myself.



I get my first plate. The service here sucks and they don't even bring me water. I had to get my own utensils. No ****s given. I'd rather not tip a dirty hindu anyway.



My water ****ing arrives after an extra from Temple Doom finally gets done with his human sacrifices, and I begin my second plate. This food is awesome. Kali Ma, shakti de!



KALI MAAAAAAAAA! KALI MAAAAAAAAA! The Daal is a bit runny, but it's all gonna be runny in a few hours so no big deal. I am ****ing stuffed. Note that I didn't get a refill on my water, because ****ing Punjab was too busy ripping some guy's heart out and lowering him into a pit of lava.



We pause for a second to reflect on life. Current attitude: gluttonous. I am a Fed-I, like my father before me. GET IT. I FED MYSELF, SO I AM A FED-I. Oh, **** you.



We're not done ****ing around with indian shit, so let's go next door.



YES. Look at all this shit. **** Price Chopper, Hyvee and Aldi. This place is where it's at.



Also to be ****ed: your American swill cookies. I get my cookies imported. Also, they're called "biscuits." You philistines.



Hit the second post and see how we end this adventure.
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Old 12-24-2014, 04:23 PM   #31
ChiliConCarnage ChiliConCarnage is offline
TACO SALAD
 
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Originally Posted by Count Alex's Losses View Post
enlighten me.
You're a bright guy; I'm sure you can use Google on your own.
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ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.
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Old 12-24-2014, 04:27 PM   #32
In58men In58men is offline
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Originally Posted by BigMeatballDave View Post
Guys still wear Corduroy? LOL

I think I wore some in the early 80s.
Coming from the guy who wears jean shorts with a jersey tucked in
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Old 12-24-2014, 04:35 PM   #33
cosmo20002 cosmo20002 is offline
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We hit the Burger King bathroom across the street for a piss break and a selfie. I've attempted to lock myself in with paper towels but I don't think it's gonna hold. Actually, those paper towels were already there. Some germophobe just gone done in here. Weirdos.


I would not touch a public bathroom door handle for any less than $50.
That amount of paper towels seems a bit excessive, however.
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Old 12-24-2014, 04:39 PM   #34
Boise_Chief Boise_Chief is offline
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Wipe your ass you nasty bastard
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Boise_Chief would the whole thing.Boise_Chief would the whole thing.Boise_Chief would the whole thing.Boise_Chief would the whole thing.Boise_Chief would the whole thing.Boise_Chief would the whole thing.Boise_Chief would the whole thing.Boise_Chief would the whole thing.Boise_Chief would the whole thing.Boise_Chief would the whole thing.Boise_Chief would the whole thing.
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Old 12-24-2014, 04:44 PM   #35
mikey23545 mikey23545 is offline
MVP
 
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So were you just getting ready to join your girlfriend in the hot tub in that last picture?
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Old 12-24-2014, 04:47 PM   #36
Fansy the Famous Bard Fansy the Famous Bard is offline
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Originally Posted by Inmem58 View Post
Coming from the guy who wears jean shorts with a jersey tucked in
They still make jean shorts? I haven't seen those in years.
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Fansy the Famous Bard threw an interception on a screen pass.Fansy the Famous Bard threw an interception on a screen pass.Fansy the Famous Bard threw an interception on a screen pass.Fansy the Famous Bard threw an interception on a screen pass.Fansy the Famous Bard threw an interception on a screen pass.Fansy the Famous Bard threw an interception on a screen pass.Fansy the Famous Bard threw an interception on a screen pass.Fansy the Famous Bard threw an interception on a screen pass.Fansy the Famous Bard threw an interception on a screen pass.Fansy the Famous Bard threw an interception on a screen pass.Fansy the Famous Bard threw an interception on a screen pass.
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Old 12-24-2014, 04:49 PM   #37
Kman34 Kman34 is offline
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Why did you eat two plates of dog vomit?
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Old 12-24-2014, 05:01 PM   #38
CoMoChief CoMoChief is offline
Mahomes Dynasty
 
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....rocking the cords i see.
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Old 12-24-2014, 05:02 PM   #39
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Why did you eat two plates of dog vomit?
I ate three because it's ****ing exquisite.
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Old 12-24-2014, 05:03 PM   #40
Sweet Daddy Hate Sweet Daddy Hate is offline
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Coords are ****ing awesome. I am inspired, and must purchase.
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Old 12-24-2014, 05:04 PM   #41
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Coords are ****ing awesome. I am inspired, and must purchase.
http://www.josbank.com/menswear/shop...1_10050_101894
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-24-2014, 05:07 PM   #42
TribalElder TribalElder is offline
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The food did not produce that bowel movement, it was way too solid. That food will produce a shitty butt piss as a result
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Old 12-24-2014, 05:08 PM   #43
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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The food did not produce that bowel movement, it was way too solid. That food will produce a shitty butt piss as a result
When you are taking painkillers, your bowel movements may be delayed.
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-24-2014, 05:08 PM   #44
Sweet Daddy Hate Sweet Daddy Hate is offline
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You're a bro, brah.
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Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 12-24-2014, 05:16 PM   #45
Sweet Daddy Hate Sweet Daddy Hate is offline
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So tempted...

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Levis-646-Be...item4d2a06e409
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Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sweet Daddy Hate is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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