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Old 02-04-2014, 10:30 AM  
Pasta Little Brioni Pasta Little Brioni is offline
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The 2014 CP Roasts thread
Since the Broncos fail finished another NFL season, it is time for some off season shenanigans. By request of some quality longterm posters, I have started this thread for CPers to show off their smack skills. Let it begin....
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Old 02-04-2014, 12:15 PM   #46
HolyHat HolyHat is offline
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I'm sure Casey Printers is available and waiting by the phone.
He's been in Canada too long. Damaged goods imo.
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HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 02-04-2014, 12:23 PM   #47
Big Poppa Payne Big Poppa Payne is offline
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The fact that I have a dirty mind wouldn't surprise anyone. The fact that you have one at all shoots the moon. Be honest... Just how badly would you fail the Wonderlic?
Don't you get like 10 points just for spelling your name right? I think Sebastian Janikowski scored one of the lowest ever, it was just above the mentally reeruned level. So I'll probably do a little better than that.
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Big Poppa Payne 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliBig Poppa Payne 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliBig Poppa Payne 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliBig Poppa Payne 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliBig Poppa Payne 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliBig Poppa Payne 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliBig Poppa Payne 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliBig Poppa Payne 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliBig Poppa Payne 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliBig Poppa Payne 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliBig Poppa Payne 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitelli
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Old 02-04-2014, 12:23 PM   #48
Cephalic Trauma Cephalic Trauma is offline
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Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.Cephalic Trauma is too fat/Omaha.
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Old 02-04-2014, 12:42 PM   #49
Pasta Little Brioni Pasta Little Brioni is offline
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Who will poke the bear and do phobia?
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Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.Pasta Little Brioni is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-04-2014, 01:03 PM   #50
digger digger is online now
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Who will poke the bear and do phobia?
(no homo)
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Old 02-04-2014, 01:44 PM   #51
rico rico is offline
ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH!
 
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We need pawn mower or a roast of pawnmower.
Yes, anything to bring his sexy buns back in here. No homo, yo....just missing me some pawnmower like whoa.
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Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.

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rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-04-2014, 01:52 PM   #52
RunKC RunKC is online now
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Can we bring Knowmo back for one day just to hear his excuses for this loss? It would be pretty funny and amusing.
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RunKC is obviously part of the inner Circle.RunKC is obviously part of the inner Circle.RunKC is obviously part of the inner Circle.RunKC is obviously part of the inner Circle.RunKC is obviously part of the inner Circle.RunKC is obviously part of the inner Circle.RunKC is obviously part of the inner Circle.RunKC is obviously part of the inner Circle.RunKC is obviously part of the inner Circle.RunKC is obviously part of the inner Circle.RunKC is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-04-2014, 02:01 PM   #53
rico rico is offline
ON CP YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S BITCH!
 
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Rico - tl;dr

Boom roasted


Brilliant. Touching. Amazing.

That was a very original and well thought-out roast!!! I dunno about all you fellers, but I was DEFINITELY amused. I mean, who ever thought of associating tl;dr with ME??!!?!? It sure as shit has never crossed my mind!!!
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Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.

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rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-04-2014, 02:03 PM   #54
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Sorter is an enigma wrapped in a condom buried in a coke mule. If there were an award for "guy who knows football extremely well about but chooses to spend his time on a football board farting around about sloths," Sorter would probably demand that Boxxxy present it to him.

I'm fairly certain that Sorter is a furry. Maybe that explains his attraction to Boxxxy, Loki, and other people that look like mischievous badgers and Komono dragons. It would not surprise me in the least if I learned that Sorter was, at the very least, a "brony." It's just a matter of time before he replies to misguided football claims with gifs of Twilight Sparkle sarcastically dusting off her mane.
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Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.Direckshun is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-04-2014, 02:06 PM   #55
HolyHat HolyHat is offline
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Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
Sorter is an enigma wrapped in a condom buried in a coke mule. If there were an award for "guy who knows football extremely well about but chooses to spend his time on a football board farting around about sloths," Sorter would probably demand that Boxxxy present it to him.

I'm fairly certain that Sorter is a furry. Maybe that explains his attraction to Boxxxy, Loki, and other people that look like mischievous badgers and Komono dragons. It would not surprise me in the least if I learned that Sorter was, at the very least, a "brony." It's just a matter of time before he replies to misguided football claims with gifs of Twilight Sparkle sarcastically dusting off her mane.
/end thread
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HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.HolyHat Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 02-04-2014, 02:09 PM   #56
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Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-04-2014, 02:12 PM   #57
loochy loochy is offline
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Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
Sorter is an enigma wrapped in a condom buried in a coke mule. If there were an award for "guy who knows football extremely well about but chooses to spend his time on a football board farting around about sloths," Sorter would probably demand that Boxxxy present it to him.

I'm fairly certain that Sorter is a furry. Maybe that explains his attraction to Boxxxy, Loki, and other people that look like mischievous badgers and Komono dragons. It would not surprise me in the least if I learned that Sorter was, at the very least, a "brony." It's just a matter of time before he replies to misguided football claims with gifs of Twilight Sparkle sarcastically dusting off her mane.
1.) Rep for providing the first actual roast on this thread.

2.) It's KOMODO dragon. "Komono dragon" reminds me of "Kimono dragon." Kimono dragon?
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loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-04-2014, 02:13 PM   #58
Dayze Dayze is offline
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Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-04-2014, 04:25 PM   #59
TimBone TimBone is offline
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Houstonwhodat is dumb. If ignorance is bliss, he must be overjoyed. He may be the only person on this board who is wrong more often than Clay. Except it's not just about football takes. It's about everything. He claimed to be a foodie in one thread and then championed Rudy's in Texas as world class bbq.

He's also a racist. If there is a thread that has a chance to turn into a "ninja" hatefest, you can rest assured Houstonwhodat is lurking somewhere nearby waiting to pounce. He's the kind of guy that's super nice to a black guy when talking to them and then walks away feeling proud of himself for being such a wonderful humanitarian. Hes from New Orleans, and on days that he drives by the old plantations and sees the slave huts, he cant help but think of "the good ol' days."

He is to the Saints what Knowmo is to the donks. He regularly fantasizes of beng sodomized by Drew Brees and Sean Payton in a back alley of the piss soaked streets of New Orleans. Jimmy Graham is his favorite player, and his favorite thing about him is that he's light skinned enough for Houstonwhodat to pretend he's white while he has his helmet on. He hates all mobile quarterbacks as long as we're assuming mobile means black.

Idols: George Bush, Byron De La Beckwith, James Earl Rey, George Zimmerman, and the crazy bearded Vietnam vet that beat up the black dude on the bus.

And that's as far as I got. I'm really not as creative and imaginative as these other guys. It sucks, but I tried.
Last edited by TimBone; 02-04-2014 at 04:50 PM..
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TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.TimBone is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-04-2014, 04:29 PM   #60
BlackHelicopters BlackHelicopters is offline
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Houstonwhodat is dumb. If ignorance is bliss, he must be overjoyed. He may be the only person on this board who is wrong more often than Clay. Except it's not just about football takes. It's about everything. He claimed to be a foodie in one thread and then championed Rudy's in Texas as world class bbq.

He's also a racist. If there is a thread that has a chance to turn into a "ninja" hatefest, you can rest assured Houstonwhodat is lurking somewhere nearby waiting to pounce. He's the kind of guy that's super nice to a black guy when talking to them and then walks away feeling proud of himself for being such a wonderful humanitarian. Hes from New Orleans, and on days that he drives by the old plantations and sees the slave huts, he cant help but think of "the good ol' days."

He is to the Saints what Knowmo is to the donks. He regularly fantasizes of beng sodomized by Drew Brees and Sean Payton in a back alley of the piss soaked streets of New Orleans. Jimmy Graham is his favorite player, and his favorite thing about him is that he's light skinned enough for Houstonwhodat to pretend he's white while he has his helmet on. He hates all mobile quarterbacks as long as we're assuming mobile means black.


And that's as far as I got. I'm really not as creative and imaginative as these other guys. It sucks, but I tried.
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BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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