I just bought 2 Avocados on Amazon Prime
 

Free shipping. Be here tomorrow by 11am. Cheaper than Hy-Vee and I don’t have to go to the store every 3 days now to get them. Apparently you can buy Blueberries, strawberries and all sorts of perishable shit. You used to have to pay an extra $9.99 or something for Whole Foods to do it. Was free for me.

Bezos you crazy bald bastard. You finally did it.

ya I've used their grocery before

it's okay but prefer Costco or a grocery store. They put like 10 bags of my groceries once on my neighbor's porch which was kind of awkward

The only way that would be awkward is if the "grocery" bananas were dildos

Were they from Mexico?

This is better news than scho order his hookers online

I'm not sure I'm interested in your purchased romances.

You seem like the kind of person who bought a Segway

But is it, though? The world might be a better place if all the loners and dudes too afraid to talk to women could access safe and reliable Amazon hooker delivery. I bet mass shootings and all the incidents where you think “man if only that dude had gotten laid once in a while, he probably wouldn’t be as much of a high strung loser” would drop somewhat. I think we should advocate for this plan *

*- for the record, I am not talking about Scho in the above.

Shove them up your ass

Do you call it Whoredash? Boober? FedXXX? InstaTart?

I cannot wrap my mind around the idea of someone else picking out my produce for me. Or steaks. Or bread. Or really anything, but especially anything where ripeness level/freshness/dates are most important.

We live in a lazy ass society.

Some high class hot looking chicks need to do this service but for groceries.

This hits upon another issue, society’s withdrawal from itself. This minimization of contact with our fellow man is not healthy. And yes, a lot of those mass shooters are indeed loners who are socially withdrawn.

Yeah I imagine those avocados are gonna be useless.

Do you have to squeeze an avocado hourly to check for ripeness

I've been doing grocery pickup for 90% of my groceries for around a decade now. I'd say it's an issue for maybe 1 in 20 produce items, and even then it's not complete crap, just maybe not what I would have picked. I'll gladly trade that minor annoyance for saving hours of walking around in a store.

That's ur prostate

Well then, you'd think you'd have plenty of time to fix your shit around here, mister!

Whoredash ROFL

Amazon RedLight?

It's completely dependent on the store. We get deliveries from Hy Vee and Walmart because those are the two options we have. We've never had an issue with Hy Vee. Walmart on the other hand does stupid shit like giving you parsley when they're out of cilantro.

I went to their Amazon Fresh store and few times in Seattle and it was nice.

Some stuff was just too expensive to buy there, but they had a futuristic cart where you scan items and throw them into bags, and then you just walk through a little aisle and you swipe your card and get a receipt, all from the cart.... it was cool.

You can do that at Walmart and Target with your phone.

That was just like 7 Patels in a trench coat watching you shop wasn’t it?

https://www.businessinsider.com/amaz...n-india-2024-4

United Pussy Service

The freshness date is always yours

I'd like to purchase an item like a suction cup that looks like a butthole

It takes you hours to shop for groceries? Where do you shop? The DMV?

I eat an avocado every weekday for breakfast. They go bad fast so I really never want to have more than 2 or 3 at one time.

Why would I want to go to the store that often and then check myself out at the self check? Most of the times Im forced to do that because the line.

This service is interesting because it kinda allows you to not have to worry about your produce going bad. So many times Ive wanted to buy more produce or produce that day for an upcoming meal but didnt because I knew it would go bad before then.

If I would have picked out my own avocados maybe I wouldn't have shot all those kids in the face.

Yeah. By the time you get there. Park. Wander around the store. Wait in line. Isn't too far off.

I just find avocados to be so touchy. Especially in the midwest. I barely trust myself to pick a decent avocado.

Online grocery shopping has resulted in a decrease in impulse purchases. People go to the grocery store after work, before dinner, and buy a bunch of food they don't need. Grocery delivery curbs that to an extent.

Same. About once every couple months they mess up and order but I'll deal with that if it means I don't have to be at the actual grocery store weekly.

Wait is that what Walmart pay is? If so this could be a game changer on the days the store is packed. I'll leave the store if the check out lines are too long LMAO

Unless they are trying to get rid of the oldest and ripest produce they have. What if it is already at the peak of its ripeness at the time they select it? By the time you get and go to eat it, it could already be turning. And then you get to tomorrow’s avocado and it may not be all that enjoyable.

It’s not a certainty that it plays out that way, but it is a possibility.

UberTeets

It doesn't allow you to skip the lines unfortunately. You scan all your items in the app and it generated a QR code. If you have a payment card in the app, all you do is scan the QR code from your phone at the self checkout and you're done.

So if you have 10 people in line in front of you for a self checkout, you're going to wait but you don't have to scan anything other than the QR code.

Nah, I'm good. I don't need another cog in the wheel to finger **** my food before I eat it.

Once they are ripe, you can put them in the refrigerator and they will last quite a while without changing much.

No complaints from me, sometimes I'm too busy to go to the store especially when the wife "Forgets" to grab 2 or 3 items. I don't want to live at the store. I had organic blueberries delivered yesterday because I needed something the same day and had to get to $25 for free same day delivery, shoot me I guess.

I've been using my grocery savings to buy pussy

They just launched Alexa+ this morning (going live in a few weeks) and it's free for Prime members. It now has more robust AI behind it, similar to the ChatGPT.

Now you can have a conversation about avocados with her when you're ordering, have her buy them and get them delivered, have her talk you through making guac and slowly let the conversation shift to how the Chiefs should approach the offseason.

I hope they deliver to convenient stores. They have to raise the price so much to just get by

Can I take head from her?

No but she’ll teach you how to milk ur prostate

I got my package and it was supposed to have 2 avacados in it. Instead it had one avocado and one bottled water lol wtf

The avocado looked real good though. Ive bought some stinkers at the store when they are cheap.

Sure saves you a lot of time

Sure does. Do you have any idea how much time it takes to stick the ripe or unripe avocado in the fridge and have them ready for each of the next 7 days.

Especially when one of the avocados is a bottle of water

Thats how they get cha

So occasionally you get a 'spongy' avocado which is usually from being out of season.

But avocados don't need to be tree ripe. Just by hard, dark ones, that way they shouldn't be bruised. They should ripen fine. And refrigerate when the get ripe.

But yea, buying discounted, mushy avocados, duh.

I am new to avocados. I just swallow them with water plain. Dont even like the taste. Just fast easy healthy.

Thank you for the guidance. In time I will buy a refrigerator.

That's an hour max if you walk into the store with a plan.

If your grocery store is that damn busy, go to a different one.

Cumulative.

All I know is unless they keep sending me one less avocado I won't be doing this but seems like a one off.

What a great useful program!

I've always dreamt about this great moment.

Do they come in a box?

How the hell have I never thought of that?

My god Bearcat has stumbled upon a multi billion dollar idea.

I certainly cum in your mom’s box

No they come on a string JFC

They actually do come in string so the jokes on you sir.

A box or a string. String is good for you though.

Cannon Ball Comin'.

Maybe you're hanging in the frozen foods observing the Shaw Knee wimins to long?

I have been eating a 1/4 of one every day with my lunch for years until they recently hit a dollar a piece. They can kiss my ass for that price. Heck, at Sam's they are about $1.25!

Bag of 6 used to be 8 is 3 bucks. I would think they probably come from around the Gulf of Fentanyl though.

Where is this? Sign me up!

We were just at Sam's last Wednesday and a bag of 6 was @$8 in Springfield. 98 cents each at our local Walmart and even higher Country Mart and Aldi's.

LMAO

yeah when I grab an avocado I'm feeling for something different if I'm making guac tonight or 2 days from now, and I can't trust anyone but myself to make that call

LMAO Of course you did.

Aldi

I'm going to make some guacamole during March Madness.

Yours has a better deal than ours in Branson.

They’re in a mesh bag labeled “mini” avocados and I think my local one went from $3 to $4 for six recently. They’re not truly mini but not mutant ones either

Those genetically modified avocados are awesome.

Tiny avocados no bueno.

I’m buying them for a 2 year old primarily. The small ones work fine

Yeah, the ones at our Aldi and also Sam's were in a mesh bag. Don't remember them labeled mini though, probably the reason for the price difference. :thumb:

Almost everything at Aldi is GMO. Just an FYI if you're watching out for that sort of thing.

Cant Brandon Steven get just avocados from Spangles?

Must be down baaaad

Lets talk about avocados.

Back to back 25k months to start 2025 homie