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Old 02-18-2005, 10:36 PM  
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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I just walked in on a coworker...
whacking off to Internet porn AT MY DESK!

I walk into the office at 10:15 p.m., only 5 hours after we close. I'm picking up some more stuff for my day tomorrow and clocking out... I walk back to my desk, the door's closed and I think, "Hmm... the door's closed. That's weird." I open it up and there's my coworker, who frantically turns the monitor off (I didn't see what kind of porn it was) and begins zipping his fly. I didn't actually notice him zipping up till I said, "Hey, what are you still doing here?" That's when I saw him buttoning/zipping the pants...

Then he proceeds to say, "Nothing, what are you doing here?" I answer, "Just clocking out." By this time, I'm back in the hallway, so he knows I'm not standing there just looking at him. Then he asks again... I answer again. He asks again... like fucking Rainman (not you, Rainman... Dustin Hoffman's Rainman, which isn't actually Dustin Hoffman, but you know what I mean...). Then he skiddadles out of the office without saying anything (which I don't blame him for).

Now, I had been noticing over the last few months porn sites on my computer's history... I wasn't worried about being caught or anything, I'm the tech guy and I know it wasn't me. That's what I have a home computer for. I hope this little scare will convince him that he probably shouldn't do that at work anymore... but, damn... now I gotta get a new keyboard and I just got this one. Sick fucker.
Last edited by Fire Me Boy!; 02-19-2005 at 07:11 AM..
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Old 02-21-2005, 09:47 AM   #121
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!
This morning, I walked in... he's in the office. I just smiled and said, "What's up?" He looked at me like a deer in the headlights... silence for probably 3 seconds. Then, he just nodded.
I am pumped to be here.
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Old 02-21-2005, 07:45 PM   #122
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Old 08-29-2005, 09:37 AM   #123
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Upon further review, I find it strange to see Fire Me Boy bring our attention to "a guy" whacking it at FMB's desk, then have FMB put a pic of a girl fisting her own mouth in his avi.

Coincidence?
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Old 08-29-2005, 09:41 AM   #124
chagrin chagrin is offline
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You might want to get a new chair...

I agree, yoou don't want strange butt sweat mixing in with your own
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Old 08-29-2005, 09:41 AM   #125
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Yech. Sorry you went through that. I remember walking in on the school spaz back in Junior High one afternoon when Coach asked another guy and I to go back to the locker room for some equipment.....Dumb bastard ended up leaving school a couple of months later. Can't imagine why.
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Old 08-29-2005, 09:42 AM   #126
chagrin chagrin is offline
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Originally Posted by ZachKC
Suonds rude of you not to let him finish. You should feel like an asshole. Sen the guy a card of apology or something.

Yeah dude, you could have at least knocked
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Old 08-29-2005, 10:14 AM   #127
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Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 08-29-2005, 10:20 AM   #128
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I nominate this thread for inclusion in the Hall of Classics. A second motion anyone?
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Old 08-29-2005, 10:20 AM   #129
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Fire Me Boy, I would deftinaly just get me a desk, computer, chair, whatever, since lord knows where the hell his splooge went.

If someone was jacking off on my desk, I would make that motherf**ker buy everything in terms of property damage.
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Old 08-29-2005, 10:21 AM   #130
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I nominate this thread for inclusion in the Hall of Classics. A second motion anyone?
I 2nd this motion.

BTW, has your co-worker ever heard of "hookers?" I mean, he could have just get a little money and get the real pussy.
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Coach is obviously part of the inner Circle.Coach is obviously part of the inner Circle.Coach is obviously part of the inner Circle.Coach is obviously part of the inner Circle.Coach is obviously part of the inner Circle.Coach is obviously part of the inner Circle.Coach is obviously part of the inner Circle.Coach is obviously part of the inner Circle.Coach is obviously part of the inner Circle.Coach is obviously part of the inner Circle.Coach is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 08-29-2005, 10:22 AM   #131
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So, do you have a pull-out keyboard tray? Or is his cheese just coating the underside of your desk? Well, at least you have an explanation for those "dandruff" flakes you get all over your thighs.
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Old 08-29-2005, 10:23 AM   #132
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Old 08-29-2005, 10:24 AM   #133
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Quote:
Originally Posted by keg in kc
So, do you have a pull-out keyboard tray? Or is his cheese just coating the underside of your desk? Well, at least you have an explanation for those "dandruff" flakes you get all over your thighs.
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Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 08-29-2005, 10:26 AM   #134
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Old 08-29-2005, 10:57 AM   #135
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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My very first Hall of Classics thread... I'm honored.
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