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Old 04-28-2021, 10:46 PM  
patteeu patteeu is offline
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I’m leaving forever.
Seriously, I am.


I know what you’re thinking. Maybe I got annoyed by something someone said. Maybe after two Super Bowls in a row I’m satiated on the Chiefs. Maybe I’m going to prison, or joining Dick Cheney on a barnstorming tour, or maybe the antifreeze actually wasn’t a good idea and I died.

The fun of a farewell forever thread is not in knowing the reason. It’s in not knowing, and the mystery behind the disappearance. MrBlond is legendary not because he was here or because he left, but rather because of how he departed. He was DB Cooper jumping out of the Chiefsplanet plane and disappearing into the night, and with that act he became immortal.

It is now my time to parachute from the plane, and I can assure you that I will not return. It would be enjoyable to become an unsolved Chiefsplanet mystery in the process, but I can’t do that to you. It’s cruel enough that you will no longer get to read my thoughtful prose and learn from my wisdom. I can’t allow you to speculate forever about what became of me, and to always wonder if that guy with the fake glasses and mustache sitting next to you at the game is me.

So I’ve instructed one Chiefsplanet member to reveal the mystery. If this thread ever reaches 1,000 posts, that person will share the reason. But until then, you will have only my boarding pass, a flight attendant’s vague description, and 110,871 posts to remember me by.

Farewell, Chiefsplanet!

(Sound of wind rushing past an open passenger cabin door.)

Last edited by DaFace; 05-18-2021 at 03:00 PM..
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Old 05-02-2021, 11:13 PM   #1066
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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Originally Posted by burt View Post
I am so very saddened to read this. For a change, I am at a loss for words.

In my 20's I wrote and delivered my grand mothers eulogy. In my 40's, did the same for my Mother. I was heavily praised for both. Then one day, I realized that whoever did my eulogy couldn't do it better than me, so I wrote mine. Eulogies are tricky...it is your only chance to write something about someone and truly capture a bit of their essence. For me, as well as all those here that didn't get one, I may just post mine here... Wadda ya think?
I got this...


Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the passing of Burt. Burt was a great guy who...ummmm....errrrr....ummm....had a bunch of really big watches....?
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Old 05-03-2021, 07:35 AM   #1068
luv luv is offline
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Originally Posted by Raiderhader View Post
Over 20 years going back to the old Star board for some of us. That's a fair chunk of life. I was 19 when this place started up, I'll be 40 next month.
Why does you turning 40 somehow make me feel older? I'm not as much older than you as I thought I was. Still, with you always being referred to as the baby of the bunch, I guess I just always thought of you as being much younger (have I made you feel old yet?).
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Old 05-03-2021, 08:32 AM   #1069
burt burt is offline
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Originally Posted by Bugeater View Post
I got this...


Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the passing of Burt. Burt was a great guy who...ummmm....errrrr....ummm....had a bunch of really big watches....?
That would suffice if everyone immediately afterwards did a shot of tequila!!! And perhaps mention my magnificent ass scar...

Sent from my LM-X410(FG) using Tapatalk
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burt has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.burt has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.burt has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.burt has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.burt has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.burt has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.burt has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.burt has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.burt has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.burt has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.burt has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
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Old 05-03-2021, 08:48 AM   #1070
IowaHawkeyeChief IowaHawkeyeChief is online now
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Originally Posted by Cave Johnson View Post
Quality deathbed attention whoring.
Really? You are the antithesis of Patty...
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Old 05-03-2021, 08:56 AM   #1071
jallmon jallmon is offline
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All very well done. RIP Patteau.
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Old 05-03-2021, 09:05 AM   #1072
Otter Otter is offline
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Originally Posted by IowaHawkeyeChief View Post
Really? You are the antithesis of Patty...
All while screaming how morally and mentally superior it is.

RIP Pat
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If the Chiefs manage to grab Mahomes I officially claim him as my "adopt a Chief".
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Old 05-03-2021, 09:42 AM   #1073
BigRichard BigRichard is offline
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Originally Posted by Cave Johnson View Post
Quality deathbed attention whoring.
Rainman is on his deathbed? Not another one.
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Old 05-03-2021, 10:11 AM   #1074
ChiTown ChiTown is offline
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Originally Posted by Raiderhader View Post
Over 20 years going back to the old Star board for some of us. That's a fair chunk of life. I was 19 when this place started up, I'll be 40 next month.
You're still a young man. I was just getting started raising my Family when I started posting on the Star Board. Now, I'm probably 2-3 years away from retiring. Crazy shit, but I've enjoyed my time here on CP. It feels like home....a home for dysfunctional people, but home nonetheless
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Old 05-03-2021, 10:14 AM   #1075
Skyy God Skyy God is offline
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Originally Posted by BigRichard View Post
Rainman is on his deathbed? Not another one.
Like 20% of the quality CP content would go with his departure.
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Old 05-03-2021, 11:03 AM   #1076
Raiderhater Raiderhater is offline
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Originally Posted by luv View Post
Why does you turning 40 somehow make me feel older? I'm not as much older than you as I thought I was. Still, with you always being referred to as the baby of the bunch, I guess I just always thought of you as being much younger (have I made you feel old yet?).
I refuse to feel old. Mom once referred to me as her Peter Pan… seems appropriate.
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Old 05-03-2021, 11:09 AM   #1077
Raiderhater Raiderhater is offline
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Originally Posted by ChiTown View Post
You're still a young man. I was just getting started raising my Family when I started posting on the Star Board. Now, I'm probably 2-3 years away from retiring. Crazy shit, but I've enjoyed my time here on CP. It feels like home....a home for dysfunctional people, but home nonetheless
No doubt. It’s funny how one’s perception of age changes as you age. As a kid you think someone in their 30’s is ooold. Looking back on it now my 30’s have been my prime. And I reserve the right to adjust that as I go along.

And we are definitely one dysfunctional family here. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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Old 05-03-2021, 11:12 AM   #1078
ToxSocks ToxSocks is offline
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Wish we coulda known so we coulda given him a proper goodbye. Instead we razzed him like any other D.C schlub.
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Old 05-03-2021, 11:54 AM   #1079
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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Originally Posted by Cave Johnson View Post
Like 20% of the quality CP content would go with his departure.
And absolutely none would go with yours.
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Old 05-03-2021, 11:55 AM   #1080
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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Originally Posted by Detoxing View Post
Wish we coulda known so we coulda given him a proper goodbye. Instead we razzed him like any other D.C schlub.
I suspect he wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
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