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Old 02-18-2005, 10:36 PM  
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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I just walked in on a coworker...
whacking off to Internet porn AT MY DESK!

I walk into the office at 10:15 p.m., only 5 hours after we close. I'm picking up some more stuff for my day tomorrow and clocking out... I walk back to my desk, the door's closed and I think, "Hmm... the door's closed. That's weird." I open it up and there's my coworker, who frantically turns the monitor off (I didn't see what kind of porn it was) and begins zipping his fly. I didn't actually notice him zipping up till I said, "Hey, what are you still doing here?" That's when I saw him buttoning/zipping the pants...

Then he proceeds to say, "Nothing, what are you doing here?" I answer, "Just clocking out." By this time, I'm back in the hallway, so he knows I'm not standing there just looking at him. Then he asks again... I answer again. He asks again... like fucking Rainman (not you, Rainman... Dustin Hoffman's Rainman, which isn't actually Dustin Hoffman, but you know what I mean...). Then he skiddadles out of the office without saying anything (which I don't blame him for).

Now, I had been noticing over the last few months porn sites on my computer's history... I wasn't worried about being caught or anything, I'm the tech guy and I know it wasn't me. That's what I have a home computer for. I hope this little scare will convince him that he probably shouldn't do that at work anymore... but, damn... now I gotta get a new keyboard and I just got this one. Sick fucker.
Last edited by Fire Me Boy!; 02-19-2005 at 07:11 AM..
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:25 PM   #91
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:26 PM   #92
teedubya teedubya is offline
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:27 PM   #93
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:37 PM   #94
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Came to work to check the clock,
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What Fug?! You're At MY DESK?

Drop your Prick and step away
The Porn you picked, Midget Gay?
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:43 PM   #95
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:44 PM   #96
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:45 PM   #97
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Not poetic but appropriate.
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:46 PM   #98
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:47 PM   #99
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It is very nice of you to not mention he was at the planet looking at a pic of phob....

was it bookmarked bighead?
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:51 PM   #100
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Old 02-19-2005, 03:52 PM   #101
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Old 02-20-2005, 08:34 PM   #102
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Old 02-20-2005, 09:33 PM   #103
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-21-2005, 12:01 AM   #104
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Heh. Great story. Here's what I'd do:

If you work at a big company with "big brother" type security, then I think you have to rat the guy out. Otherwise, you stand to lose your job for looking at porn (which you didn't do). If you "are the tech guy," as you say, and you no that no one else is checking your computer's history, I'd probably just tormet the guy over the next few months with tons of pun and maturbatory euphamisims.

Of course, I'd wipe down the stuff on your desk. but honestly, being overly concerned about heath in this situation is silly. Sperm and most diseases can't live outside of the body for long at all, and are usually easily killed with basic cleaning supplies like Windex. Just wipe shit down, and you'll be fine.

Finally, next time you are stroking it on company time (we all do it, right?), I'd walk over to his cube, cum in his lap, and leave without saying a word.
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Old 02-21-2005, 12:03 AM   #105
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Sperm dies instantly if the temperature isn't right. Still gross as fuck. Piss is sterile, but you don't drink it (well most of us don't).
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