Life Is it possible to have a best friend who is the opposite sex? - Page 6

El Jefe · 01-07-2010, 05:24 PM

I have pondered this, and I think it is virtually impossible. I have had 3 girls who I would consider best friends at points in my life, but all 3 came to a crashing end. They eventually came to a part where they wanted a dating relationship and I did not. I think for a guy to have a girl who is their best friend, the guy either has to be gay or the girl has to be married for it to work. At least in the kind of girls I deal with.

The most recent was a girl I posted about on here last year, we had known each other since we were kids. We dated for a couple of months while she was in her senior year. Then I cut it off when she went to college, and I thought things were cool. We were best friends up until this year, she has had a boyfriend for the last 5 years, and we were fine. Now that I have a girlfriend, she actually told me I either choose to date my current girlfriend or her friendship. So I chose to date this girl, and we have not spoke since, and I never saw it coming, she completely changed once I found somebody. I couldn't have cared less when she got a boyfriend, but apparently when we agreed to just be friends she still deep down wanted something more.

Anyone have any thoughts on this, Im sure it will change as the age group of the girls I am around continue to grow older each year. All of these girls except one are in college still FTR.

**Rain Man** · 01-07-2010, 08:20 PM

If I was single, I think it would be harder to have a female best friend. Maybe it's sheer coincidence, but when I was single my best friends were always male, and since I've been married my best friends have always been female. I almost wonder if I kept more distance as a single guy because at that time romance trumped friendship as a goal, while now I don't have that issue. Have you other married guys or gals had the same experience?

**mlyonsd** · 01-07-2010, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

If I was single, I think it would be harder to have a female best friend. Maybe it's sheer coincidence, but when I was single my best friends were always male, and since I've been married my best friends have always been female. I almost wonder if I kept more distance as a single guy because at that time romance trumped friendship as a goal, while now I don't have that issue. Have you other married guys or gals had the same experience?

No, you're basically a freak.

**Rain Man** · 01-07-2010, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ziggysocki

I quote "These people were definitely my best friends at the time" at the time being the key phrase. Listen Dr. Cooper, I know in your mind best means one and only one... but us humans hang out a little more in the gray.

Another issue in the "best friend" definition may be mobility. When I was a kid, I moved every year, so at least once a year I completely cut ties with my friends (pre-e-mail era, remember), and I went out and made a new set of friends. So for me, it would have been silly to decide whether my "best friend" was the person I hung out with last year or the person this year or the person next year. I had to define it differently.

**Rain Man** · 01-07-2010, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mlyonsd

No, you're basically a freak.

Thanks. This is helping me reach closure and self-awareness.

jidar · 01-07-2010, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ziggysocki

I quote "These people were definitely my best friends at the time" at the time being the key phrase. Listen Dr. Cooper, I know in your mind best means one and only one... but us humans hang out a little more in the gray.

and yet they sound less close to me than people I would consider "good friends" now. I mean shit at least I'm seeing my "good friends" outside of work.

Even he knew he was being loose with the definition of best friend which is why he went on to explain his own definition. I was just making a backhanded comment about it.

But I guess now he wants to take his caveats back though.. judging by these responses.

Mr. Laz · 01-07-2010, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luv

Wanna be my friend?

only if i can be the love slave

**mlyonsd** · 01-07-2010, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Thanks. This is helping me reach closure and self-awareness.

Realize I meant that in a good way. Not all freaks are Frankenstien's.

ziggysocki · 01-07-2010, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jidar

and yet they sound less close to me than people I would consider "good friends" now. I mean shit at least I'm seeing my "good friends" outside of work.

Even he knew he was being loose with the definition of best friend which is why he went on to explain his own definition. I was just making a backhanded comment about it.

But I guess now he wants to take his caveats back though.. judging by these responses.

Of course it was loose... Cool avatar btw. Where is it from?

**Rain Man** · 01-07-2010, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jidar

and yet they sound less close to me than people I would consider "good friends" now. I mean shit at least I'm seeing my "good friends" outside of work.

Even he knew he was being loose with the definition of best friend which is why he went on to explain his own definition. I was just making a backhanded comment about it.

But I guess now he wants to take his caveats back though.. judging by these responses.

That's it. You're no longer my best friend. Ziggy, mlyons, it's between the two of you for who's next.

ziggysocki · 01-07-2010, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

That's it. You're no longer my best friend. Ziggy, mlyons, it's between the two of you for who's next.

How much does this gig pay? Oh, and no gay stuff.

jidar · 01-07-2010, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

That's it. You're no longer my best friend. Ziggy, mlyons, it's between the two of you for who's next.

son of a bitch

Look, I take it back all right? I don't want to ruin what we have

**mlyonsd** · 01-07-2010, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

That's it. You're no longer my best friend. Ziggy, mlyons, it's between the two of you for who's next.

Pick ziggy. I'd need roller skates to keep up with you.

ziggysocki · 01-07-2010, 08:33 PM

But seriously in response to the op, I think biology really sets this premise up for fail. Opposite sex are supposed to procreate for the sake of survival of the species. Platonic relationships among the sexes is in conflict with this. The tension is always there, no matter how deep it is buried.

**mlyonsd** · 01-07-2010, 08:33 PM

Ok, so we're at the tail end of a blizzard and my best friend (wife) and I are getting ready to go push more snow.

She tries on my bomber hat and says I have a small head. She says she looks at it every day and its a small head.

WTF does that mean? Does she think she's smarter than me?

Time to go bury her in a snow bank.

**Rain Man** · 01-07-2010, 08:33 PM

Okay, ziggy, you're in. jidar is out. mlyons is out. And yeah, no gay stuff. In fact, no sleeping in the same bed under any circumstances, even if you turn out to be a girl.

01-07-2010, 05:24 PM
El Jefe Don't tread on me. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Where the peaches grow Casino cash: $9030572	Is it possible to have a best friend who is the opposite sex? I have pondered this, and I think it is virtually impossible. I have had 3 girls who I would consider best friends at points in my life, but all 3 came to a crashing end. They eventually came to a part where they wanted a dating relationship and I did not. I think for a guy to have a girl who is their best friend, the guy either has to be gay or the girl has to be married for it to work. At least in the kind of girls I deal with. The most recent was a girl I posted about on here last year, we had known each other since we were kids. We dated for a couple of months while she was in her senior year. Then I cut it off when she went to college, and I thought things were cool. We were best friends up until this year, she has had a boyfriend for the last 5 years, and we were fine. Now that I have a girlfriend, she actually told me I either choose to date my current girlfriend or her friendship. So I chose to date this girl, and we have not spoke since, and I never saw it coming, she completely changed once I found somebody. I couldn't have cared less when she got a boyfriend, but apparently when we agreed to just be friends she still deep down wanted something more. Anyone have any thoughts on this, Im sure it will change as the age group of the girls I am around continue to grow older each year. All of these girls except one are in college still FTR.
Posts: 8,540

01-07-2010, 08:20 PM	#76
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-452449 VARSITY	If I was single, I think it would be harder to have a female best friend. Maybe it's sheer coincidence, but when I was single my best friends were always male, and since I've been married my best friends have always been female. I almost wonder if I kept more distance as a single guy because at that time romance trumped friendship as a goal, while now I don't have that issue. Have you other married guys or gals had the same experience? __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,246

01-07-2010, 08:33 PM	#88
ziggysocki mmm sweet lemonade Join Date: Oct 2008 Casino cash: $10005000	But seriously in response to the op, I think biology really sets this premise up for fail. Opposite sex are supposed to procreate for the sake of survival of the species. Platonic relationships among the sexes is in conflict with this. The tension is always there, no matter how deep it is buried.
Posts: 1,582

01-07-2010, 08:33 PM	#89
mlyonsd Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Spink, SD Casino cash: $-1996238	Ok, so we're at the tail end of a blizzard and my best friend (wife) and I are getting ready to go push more snow. She tries on my bomber hat and says I have a small head. She says she looks at it every day and its a small head. WTF does that mean? Does she think she's smarter than me? Time to go bury her in a snow bank.
Posts: 39,458

01-07-2010, 08:33 PM	#90
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-452449 VARSITY	Okay, ziggy, you're in. jidar is out. mlyons is out. And yeah, no gay stuff. In fact, no sleeping in the same bed under any circumstances, even if you turn out to be a girl. __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,246