This Week's Important Florida News!

[gblowfish]

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.

[Naptown Chief]

Originally Posted by scho63

That's a man baby!

What the **** is that thing?

[Fish]

[alpha_omega]

Originally Posted by stumppy

Gaaaahhhh, warning not strong enough.

Sorry dude...it wasn't really NSFW, but you are right...next time i'll be more forceful.

[BigRedChief]

See you later, alligator �� A scaly 11-foot-long gator broke into a Clearwater home overnight through some low windows in their kitchen. Clearwater Police officers and a trapper responded to the scene to capture and remove the gator. There were no injuries. pic.twitter.com/jsOxRNfkEV

— Clearwater Police Department (@myclearwaterPD) May 31, 2019

[AssEaterChief]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

He Eats Ass and is proud of it!
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article..._ZzYSU-aVBnpYs

A Florida man arrested this week for refusing to remove a sticker on his pickup truck proclaiming that he eats ass will not be prosecuted, officials said Thursday.

Now the man is threatening to sue the sheriff's office for violating his First Amendment rights.

Dillon Shane Webb, 23, was stopped Sunday on a highway in Lake City, west of Jacksonville, by a Columbia County sheriff's deputy who saw a sticker on his rear window that read, "I EAT ASS."


Dashcam footage shows the deputy telling Webb that the reason he was pulled over was "the derogatory sticker" on the back of his truck.

"How is that derogatory?" Webb asks.

"How is it not derogatory?" the deputy responds. "Some 10-year-old little kid sitting in the passenger seat of his momma's vehicle looks over and sees 'I EAT ASS' and asks his mom what it means; how is she going to explain that?"

"That's the parent's job, not my job," Webb responded.

Webb was issued a summons for what the sheriff's deputy said was a misdemeanor violation of Florida's obscene-materials law.

Dashcam footage shows the deputy telling Webb that if one of his four children asked him about the sticker, he "would be furious."

When the deputy told Webb to remove one of the letters from the words "ASS" to read "AS," Webb refused, citing his constitutional right to free speech.

The deputy subsequently arrested Webb and charged him with the additional offense of resisting an officer without violence.

News of Webb's arrest — and his sticker — made news around the country. In a notice filed Thursday, prosecutors announced that they were dropping the charges against him.

"Having evaluated the evidence through the prism of Supreme Court precedent it is determined that the Defendant has a valid defense to be raised under the First Amendment of our United States Constitution," Assistant State's Attorney John Foster Durrett wrote. "Given such, a jury would not convict under these facts."

Webb's lawyer, Andrew Bonderud, told BuzzFeed News they were now considering "a number of potential claims" against the sheriff's office.

Bonderud noted that the dash cam footage shows the deputy at first telling his client that the sticker was "derogatory" instead of "obscene." He also highlighted that at several points, one of the deputy's colleagues can be heard telling him via the radio to "tow his shit."

"Not only were they wrong on the law, but they happen to be hypocrites," he said.

Bonderud said Webb's sticker "didn't satisfy the rigorous standard to be found to be obscene," which he said "typically refers to something that is erotic in nature."

"[The 'I EAT ASS' sticker] could be a euphemism for a number of things," he insisted.

"The bottom line is that he and his friends thought it would be funny," Bonderud said, "and he shouldn't end up in jail for making a joke like that."

Bonderud acknowledged that this free speech case was "unique" compared with the others he has worked on, but said Webb was heroic for fighting for his rights.

"I think it was brave of him to refuse to take down what he thought was protected speech," Bonderud said. "I think it showed courage on his part."

[gblowfish]

Originally Posted by BigRedChief

See you later, alligator �� A scaly 11-foot-long gator broke into a Clearwater home overnight through some low windows in their kitchen. Clearwater Police officers and a trapper responded to the scene to capture and remove the gator. There were no injuries. pic.twitter.com/jsOxRNfkEV

— Clearwater Police Department (@myclearwaterPD) May 31, 2019

He just had some midnight munchies!

[scho63]

Where's the post of the Florida dude killing his woman during sex by accidentally firing a gun? You guys are slacking!

[gblowfish]

Originally Posted by Naptown Chief

What the **** is that thing?

The one on the left looks like Belichick in a blond wig!

[FloridaMan88]

Twerking shoplifter in Broward County...

#Twerking shoplifter hits #PembrokePines #MadRag clothing store @Telemundo51 #caughtoncamera pic.twitter.com/FJui1DJkYe

— JRodriguez (@JRodzMIA) May 30, 2019

[EPodolak]

Better here than the fishing thread.




A charter boat captain was arrested in Florida after getting intoxicated, firing a handgun and refusing to take the frightened passengers to shore in a nightmarish ordeal that lasted more than 17 hours.

Later in the boat ride, Bailey told 25-year-old passenger Chris Giuffre he wanted to speak with him — and what the captain shared was terrifying: “I have a gun and if I want to, I will put a bullet in each of your heads and leave you out here,” Bailey reportedly said.


https://www.miamiherald.com/news/sta...231199488.html

[scho63]

Florida man steals car, kills dog, chases man with ax, found naked in chicken coop: police

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-m...g-chicken-coop

A Florida man who allegedly stole a car, killed a dog -- and possibly chickens -- and chased a man with an ax was found naked in a chicken coop Tuesday, police said.

John Mehne, 25, of Sarasota, Fla., was arrested Tuesday after New York State Police responded to a call about an Audi, parked facing the wrong direction, on Interstate 81, roughly three miles from the Pennsylvania border.

'GINGERBREAD GANGSTA' SOUGHT IN OHIO FOR PETTY THEFT, DRUG POSSESSION

Investigators discovered the vehicle was reported stolen in Sarasota. Mehne had allegedly been driving the Audi when he crashed it into a guardrail. He then tried to hop on the back of a van, failed, then jumped onto the back of a pickup truck before that driver pulled over, allowing Mehne to flee into the woods, police said in a news release.

A search by the state police and the Broome County Sheriff's Office ensued and, later that day, state police received a call from a man who "came home from work and found Mehne in his chicken coop."

INDIANA MAN ALLEGEDLY ORDERS RIDE-SHARE AS GETAWAY CAR AFTER SHOOTING: POLICE

Mehne, when asked what he was doing, allegedly said he was "killing the chickens." State police said Mehne chased the man with an ax and rode off after stealing an ATV, which he later abandoned.

Soon after, authorities said they received another call about a naked man in another chicken coop -- which is where Mehne was arrested. The 25-year-old was bitten by a police K-9 officer in the process.

Authorities later learned that Mehne allegedly broke into a home in the area and killed a family dog.

Mehne was transported to a hospital for treatment, booked, and remanded at the Broome County Jail on no bail.

[eDave]

She grabbed him by the private parts and squeezed until he bled

A Florida woman has been jailed over allegations she grabbed her boyfriend’s testicles and squeezed so hard that he bled, police say.

Katie Lee Pitchford, 21, of Indian Harbour Beach on Florida’s Space Coast, was in a confrontation with her live-in boyfriend on June 4 when the argument escalated, according to an arrest report.

Pitchford, enraged, hit her boyfriend with a brush, the Indian Harbour Beach Police Department said. She also punched and scratched him, drawing blood on the left side of his face.

The arrest report, which didn’t say what the couple were fighting over, described the boyfriend’s account of what happened. “The victim also stated the defendant ‘grabbed him by his balls and squeezed them until they were bleeding,’” the report said.

In the back of the squad car after she was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of domestic battery, Pitchford “asked if she could talk to the victim because she wanted to say she was sorry," the arresting officer said in the report.

Pitchford, also was accused of violating her probation, is scheduled to appear in court June 25.

https://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/fl...o6u-story.html

[Halfcan]

^ ouch

[scho63]

Guy was being too testy

[gblowfish]

Well, that story made me shift around in my chair a bit...