Home Discord Chat
Go Back   ChiefsPlanet > Hall of Classics
Reload this Page I'm on a mission to shit
Register FAQDonate Members List Calendar

Reply
Page 5 of 25 1234 5 678915 Last »
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-19-2014, 11:46 AM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
I'll be back.
 
Hammock Parties's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Casino cash: $2800478
I'm on a mission to shit
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
Posts: 288,270
Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 01:24 PM   #61
ShortRoundChief ShortRoundChief is offline
Embrace the love
 
ShortRoundChief's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Joplin
Casino cash: $5467192
After heart surgery it took me a week and some laxatives. It'll come and when it does it'll be glorious.
Posts: 33,769
ShortRoundChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.ShortRoundChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.ShortRoundChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.ShortRoundChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.ShortRoundChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.ShortRoundChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.ShortRoundChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.ShortRoundChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.ShortRoundChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.ShortRoundChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.ShortRoundChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 01:54 PM   #62
RaiderH8r RaiderH8r is offline
Now it's Willie Time!
 
RaiderH8r's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Beating hippies
Casino cash: $4423512
In the mean time, install a seat belt and handles on your shitter.
__________________
“You may think RaiderH8r is just a thinker. But I’m not just a thinker. I’m a doer. Every day I go out there, and rev that engine, fire it up, grab a hold of that line between speed and chaos, and wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. And when the fear rises up in my belly, I use it. Fear is powerful, because it’s been there for billions of years. And it is good. And I use it. And I ride it; I ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell.”
Posts: 4,053
RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 01:56 PM   #63
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
Cast Iron Jedi
 
Fire Me Boy!'s Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2004
Casino cash: $9999900
VARSITY
Quote:
Originally Posted by htismaqe View Post
First of all, stop eating all that fiber. By ingesting fiber, you're actually forming bulk. Metamucil is actually making the problem worse, especially if you don't ingest that kind of fiber daily. It won't help you go, it will just fill you up.

I wouldn't recommend Senokot or any stimulant laxative as it's going to give you pain and cramping.

You're on the right track with Milk of Magnesia but

1) two tablespoons is not enough and
2) you don't need an antacid

Grab a bottle of this and drink the WHOLE thing. It is available everywhere that has a 3-aisle basic pharmacy and costs about $1. Wait 30 minutes to an hour. Don't get too far from the bathroom. It's safe and I guarantee you it will work.
Yep.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
PREPARE FOR BATTLE
PREPARE TO LOSE.
Posts: 35,253
Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 01:59 PM   #64
booger booger is offline
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape
 
booger's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: clear out in the sticks
Casino cash: $-401450
Claythanoscopy
__________________
2 Chronicles 7:14
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
Posts: 12,690
booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 02:11 PM   #65
RaiderH8r RaiderH8r is offline
Now it's Willie Time!
 
RaiderH8r's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Beating hippies
Casino cash: $4423512
Quote:
Originally Posted by booger View Post
Claythanoscopy
He'll probe the hell out of 3 inches of rectum.
__________________
“You may think RaiderH8r is just a thinker. But I’m not just a thinker. I’m a doer. Every day I go out there, and rev that engine, fire it up, grab a hold of that line between speed and chaos, and wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. And when the fear rises up in my belly, I use it. Fear is powerful, because it’s been there for billions of years. And it is good. And I use it. And I ride it; I ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell.”
Posts: 4,053
RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 02:11 PM   #66
hometeam hometeam is offline
Supporter
 
hometeam's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2011
Casino cash: $2901956
Just think of how good its going to feel when it comes out -

I have attached a gif that I think is appropriate.



Thank you, gentleman, you may now return to your business.
Posts: 10,692
hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.hometeam is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 02:13 PM   #67
booger booger is offline
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape
 
booger's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: clear out in the sticks
Casino cash: $-401450
Quote:
Originally Posted by RaiderH8r View Post
He'll probe the hell out of 3 inches of rectum.


That dirty butt pirate!
__________________
2 Chronicles 7:14
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
Posts: 12,690
booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 02:14 PM   #68
Marcellus Marcellus is online now
Diablo Negro
 
Marcellus's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2003
Casino cash: $1302662
Just go buy a bag of those sugar free gummy bears. Problem solved.
Posts: 72,385
Marcellus is obviously part of the inner Circle.Marcellus is obviously part of the inner Circle.Marcellus is obviously part of the inner Circle.Marcellus is obviously part of the inner Circle.Marcellus is obviously part of the inner Circle.Marcellus is obviously part of the inner Circle.Marcellus is obviously part of the inner Circle.Marcellus is obviously part of the inner Circle.Marcellus is obviously part of the inner Circle.Marcellus is obviously part of the inner Circle.Marcellus is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 02:14 PM   #69
Dayze Dayze is offline
Resident Glue Sniffer
 
Dayze's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2003
Casino cash: $3549358
just don't get a prolapse.

(I looked that one up once on the internetz.....never again)
__________________
Life is 99% inspiration, 1% Perspiration, and 1% Attention to Detial.

RIP & Godspeed:
Saccoppo
Lonewolf Ed
Fire Me Boy
Posts: 37,402
Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 02:16 PM   #70
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
I'll be back.
 
Hammock Parties's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Casino cash: $2800478
Update: 3:14 PM CDT

I continue to rip farts. Strangely, the beginning of each fart feels as if it might be the turd of destiny, that lets loose the tidal wave o shit....but I remain disappointed.

A courier has been dispatched to deliver this secret "magnesium" bomb. The Anus will not stand against this chemical warfare.
Posts: 288,270
Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 02:16 PM   #71
booger booger is offline
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape
 
booger's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: clear out in the sticks
Casino cash: $-401450
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dayze View Post
just don't get a prolapse.

(I looked that one up once on the internetz.....never again)
Rectum? Damn near turned em inside out!
__________________
2 Chronicles 7:14
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
Posts: 12,690
booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 02:17 PM   #72
Dayze Dayze is offline
Resident Glue Sniffer
 
Dayze's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2003
Casino cash: $3549358
"wave o' shit".

I didn't realize you were Irish
__________________
Life is 99% inspiration, 1% Perspiration, and 1% Attention to Detial.

RIP & Godspeed:
Saccoppo
Lonewolf Ed
Fire Me Boy
Posts: 37,402
Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 02:18 PM   #73
Buck Buck is offline
Take a Chill Pill
 
Buck's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: South Carolina
Casino cash: $7619900
Miralax
Posts: 44,566
Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 02:19 PM   #74
Dayze Dayze is offline
Resident Glue Sniffer
 
Dayze's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2003
Casino cash: $3549358
once it's out, you should celebrate by eating a block of cheese.
__________________
Life is 99% inspiration, 1% Perspiration, and 1% Attention to Detial.

RIP & Godspeed:
Saccoppo
Lonewolf Ed
Fire Me Boy
Posts: 37,402
Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dayze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
 Thumbs Up 1 Thumbs Down 0     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 02:20 PM   #75
booger booger is offline
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape
 
booger's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: clear out in the sticks
Casino cash: $-401450
Get in the bathtub man gonna be shit everywhere
__________________
2 Chronicles 7:14
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
Posts: 12,690
booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
 Thumbs Up 1 Thumbs Down 0     Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 5 of 25 1234 5 678915 Last »

« Previous Thread | > Hall of Classics < | Next Thread »

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump




All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:38 AM.

Contact Us - ChiefsPlanet - Archive - Top

This is a test for a client's site.
Fort Worth Texas Process Servers
Covering Arlington, Fort Worth, Grand Prairie and surrounding communities.
Tarrant County, Texas and Johnson County, Texas.
Advertise with us!
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.