Relationship Problem - Page 5

RustShack · 04-16-2009, 12:19 AM

Say you've been with a girl for awhile, and your about to move in together. She goes to the bars with a few friends once every week or two and doesn't like you to come with. Her friend meets a guy and they start hanging out with his friends, and after a few weeks your girlfriend is going to a movie alone with one of the friends but she says its "just as friends". What would you do or think?

Mile High Mania · 04-16-2009, 07:27 AM

I'm also in favor of the guy and the girl having "their time and their space" with their friends. Guys need to get away from time to time with their buddies, and the same applies for the girl. If you don't have this balance, I don't think it's healthy for either in the relationship.

My wife and I have been together for 12 years and married 10... I get plenty of opportunities to have "MHM time" with my buddies, and she gets those same opportunities.

I also don't have a problem with my wife going out with her single pals to a bar, it rarely happens, but I trust her and she's never given me a reason to question her. And, the same goes for me...

Looking at your situation (based on little information) - if the trust isn't there now, I doubt it ever will be.

Question - how old are the two of you, based on the situation I would guess young (early or mid 20s). Some people are ready for deep relationships at that time in their lives, but many are not.

I'm also not as big of a fan as I used to be about the "moving in together" idea before you're married. For the sake of this discussion not taking a different path, let's leave the 'religious aspect' alone... but, moving in with your girlfriend just doesn't work out the majority of the time. Sure, some will say "it will let us know if we're supposed to be together and get us ready for marriage". It's possible, but it doesn't sound like either of you is mentally prepared to deal with it... especially the girl.

Look out your window... she's not the only available girl out there, and based on the issue at hand... she's likely figured out that you're not the only available guy.

Don't be the victim, man up and confront the situation directly... stay positive and rational, but if you let it drag on... there's nothing but pain in your future.

Katipan · 04-16-2009, 07:35 AM

There are no girl friends. There are only girls you've ****ed and girls you haven't ****ed yet.

Hog's Gone Fishin · 04-16-2009, 07:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RustShack

Say you've been with a girl for awhile, and your about to move in together. She goes to the bars with a few friends once every week or two and doesn't like you to come with. Her friend meets a guy and they start hanging out with his friends, and after a few weeks your girlfriend is going to a movie alone with one of the friends but she says its "just as friends". What would you do or think?

If there's one thing Hog Farmer knows. It's when somebody's getting porked.

And your girlfriend is.

**Mr. Flopnuts** · 04-16-2009, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GonzoRox88

Think of it this way...you're a guy..so follow me here.

Most guys, particularly younger guys like you and I don't really care to have too many female "friends". You're either ****ing the girl, or she's someone you'd like to **** if the opportunity presents itself. Now, I certainly know I wouldn't personally go out to a movie with any girl I didn't have some interest in ****ing. And this dude probably thinks something like you and I.

So, even if they're "just friends" in her book, he's setting himself up for some suck and **** action down the line. And it's that simple, man. It doesn't really matter what sort of intentions your girl may have at the moment, you know this guy "friend's" intention.

He wants to bang your girl, and if he hasn't already, then you're most certainly not throwing up any roadblocks for him by not setting up certain parameters in your relationship. Either get shit set straight really quick-like, or you can plan on your relationship falling apart promptly..if it hasn't already.

Bingo.

**Iowanian** · 04-16-2009, 07:44 AM

The dude she's hanging with is a shark....He's biding his time, waiting for the night when she's angry and upset with you.

He'll be there to offer a hug, conveniently have a bottle of boone farm apple wine.....and then....well, I already told you what her belly will smell like when she gets home.

tooge · 04-16-2009, 07:45 AM

Hook up tonight. Nail the dickens out of her, then end it tomorrow. You are gettin played bad. Been there done exactly that. No guy goes to a movie with a girl as friends. It is insulting that she would even expect you to believe that crap. Grudge**** her and end it quik.

Hog's Gone Fishin · 04-16-2009, 07:51 AM

You should take another MAN to the same movie she's going to and sit right in front of her and make out with him. Just act like you don't know she's there.

**Iowanian** · 04-16-2009, 07:53 AM

* unless the guy is a hair dresser and wears a pinky ring.

Sully · 04-16-2009, 07:54 AM

Girls Night Out=Okay
Other guys being at Girls Night Out= A long talk... a very long talk...
Going to a movie with only a guy= If it's not a dealbreaker...it's pretty damn close.

Crashride · 04-16-2009, 08:00 AM

Time to man up sir. You need to just focus on the facts and read it for what it is.
Girls just dont go to the movies with other guys while in relationships. She has lost all respect for you and the relationship and its probably to late to fix it and if you talk to her about it, it will probably just push her away even more.
There is a few ways to handle this.
1. Be alpha about the situation. Dont get mad, jealous or upset and just move on while staying friends. I bet your a catch and could find girls at anytime.
2. Talk to her about it and try to set your boundries since they haven't already been set. If she is receptive to it and agrees, great! If she puts up resistance then you know she is set on her ways and things aren't going to change. Move on at that point.
3. Or you can not say anything, like most guys, let her continue to disrespect you and eventually cheat or leave you, if she hasn't already.
IMO I would go with the first option, you should have stated your boundries from the start. Respect is a huge factor in relationships and she has none for you. You deserve respect and she will see you in a new light once she realizes your not gonna let her walk all over you.
I also want to add, at no point should you be a dick about ANY of this. Just move on and focus on building a healthier relationship.

Katipan · 04-16-2009, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sully

Girls Night Out=Okay
Other guys being at Girls Night Out= A long talk... a very long talk...
Going to a movie with only a guy= If it's not a dealbreaker...it's pretty damn close.

You're a pretty cool husband.

Demonpenz · 04-16-2009, 08:02 AM

I never get to have an fun drama like this. Shit is alot easier being single. Go to a bar, drink beer, play buck hunter the end

Sure-Oz · 04-16-2009, 08:03 AM

I hope Rustshack didn't kill her

Sully · 04-16-2009, 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katipan

You're a pretty cool husband.

Eh.
I'm okay.

Sure-Oz · 04-16-2009, 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hog Farmer

You should take another MAN to the same movie she's going to and sit right in front of her and make out with him. Just act like you don't know she's there.

That'll show her!

04-16-2009, 12:19 AM
RustShack **** That Noise Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Jack Trice Casino cash: $3606954	Relationship Problem Say you've been with a girl for awhile, and your about to move in together. She goes to the bars with a few friends once every week or two and doesn't like you to come with. Her friend meets a guy and they start hanging out with his friends, and after a few weeks your girlfriend is going to a movie alone with one of the friends but she says its "just as friends". What would you do or think?
Posts: 15,103

04-16-2009, 07:27 AM	#61
Mile High Mania #triggering Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Tejas Casino cash: $2287229	I'm also in favor of the guy and the girl having "their time and their space" with their friends. Guys need to get away from time to time with their buddies, and the same applies for the girl. If you don't have this balance, I don't think it's healthy for either in the relationship. My wife and I have been together for 12 years and married 10... I get plenty of opportunities to have "MHM time" with my buddies, and she gets those same opportunities. I also don't have a problem with my wife going out with her single pals to a bar, it rarely happens, but I trust her and she's never given me a reason to question her. And, the same goes for me... Looking at your situation (based on little information) - if the trust isn't there now, I doubt it ever will be. Question - how old are the two of you, based on the situation I would guess young (early or mid 20s). Some people are ready for deep relationships at that time in their lives, but many are not. I'm also not as big of a fan as I used to be about the "moving in together" idea before you're married. For the sake of this discussion not taking a different path, let's leave the 'religious aspect' alone... but, moving in with your girlfriend just doesn't work out the majority of the time. Sure, some will say "it will let us know if we're supposed to be together and get us ready for marriage". It's possible, but it doesn't sound like either of you is mentally prepared to deal with it... especially the girl. Look out your window... she's not the only available girl out there, and based on the issue at hand... she's likely figured out that you're not the only available guy. Don't be the victim, man up and confront the situation directly... stay positive and rational, but if you let it drag on... there's nothing but pain in your future. __________________
Posts: 30,664	1 0

04-16-2009, 07:35 AM	#62
Katipan MER Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Colorado Casino cash: $990351	There are no girl friends. There are only girls you've **ed and girls you haven't *ed yet. __________________ "Loving him is red."*
Posts: 23,340	1 0

04-16-2009, 07:44 AM	#65
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $3438454	The dude she's hanging with is a shark....He's biding his time, waiting for the night when she's angry and upset with you. He'll be there to offer a hug, conveniently have a bottle of boone farm apple wine.....and then....well, I already told you what her belly will smell like when she gets home.
Posts: 62,291

04-16-2009, 07:45 AM	#66
tooge MVP Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Liberty, MO Casino cash: $2214112	Hook up tonight. Nail the dickens out of her, then end it tomorrow. You are gettin played bad. Been there done exactly that. No guy goes to a movie with a girl as friends. It is insulting that she would even expect you to believe that crap. Grudge**** her and end it quik.
Posts: 16,473

04-16-2009, 07:51 AM	#67
Hog's Gone Fishin Fish are scared of me Join Date: Nov 2001 Casino cash: $-79523	You should take another MAN to the same movie she's going to and sit right in front of her and make out with him. Just act like you don't know she's there.
Posts: 40,648	2 0

04-16-2009, 07:53 AM	#68
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $3438454	* unless the guy is a hair dresser and wears a pinky ring.
Posts: 62,291

04-16-2009, 07:54 AM	#69
Sully It Goes On Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Lees Summit Casino cash: $10026331	Girls Night Out=Okay Other guys being at Girls Night Out= A long talk... a very long talk... Going to a movie with only a guy= If it's not a dealbreaker...it's pretty damn close. __________________ "And I don't wish that girl any bad luck," he said, "but I hope she gets hit with a car." - Tommy Lasorda
Posts: 18,295	1 0

04-16-2009, 08:00 AM	#70
Crashride We got DANCERS in tampa Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Tampa, FL Casino cash: $10004900	Time to man up sir. You need to just focus on the facts and read it for what it is. Girls just dont go to the movies with other guys while in relationships. She has lost all respect for you and the relationship and its probably to late to fix it and if you talk to her about it, it will probably just push her away even more. There is a few ways to handle this. 1. Be alpha about the situation. Dont get mad, jealous or upset and just move on while staying friends. I bet your a catch and could find girls at anytime. 2. Talk to her about it and try to set your boundries since they haven't already been set. If she is receptive to it and agrees, great! If she puts up resistance then you know she is set on her ways and things aren't going to change. Move on at that point. 3. Or you can not say anything, like most guys, let her continue to disrespect you and eventually cheat or leave you, if she hasn't already. IMO I would go with the first option, you should have stated your boundries from the start. Respect is a huge factor in relationships and she has none for you. You deserve respect and she will see you in a new light once she realizes your not gonna let her walk all over you. I also want to add, at no point should you be a dick about ANY of this. Just move on and focus on building a healthier relationship.
Posts: 1,964	1 0

04-16-2009, 08:02 AM	#72
Demonpenz Woman should only make babies Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $1436136	I never get to have an fun drama like this. Shit is alot easier being single. Go to a bar, drink beer, play buck hunter the end __________________
Posts: 54,633	1 0