I have a date. - Page 413

**luv** · 01:24 AM

I guess this will be the ****Official TMI Thread****

**BossChief** · 06-20-2009, 10:32 PM

I would have dived into the deep end at the gas station and while we were kissing, would have softly taken her hand and had it just graze my package.

The key in this situation is to not seem completely obvious, and come off creepy, but to put dick in her subconscience.

Before the next date, blow a load in the shower so you dont seem so needy.

I hate to say it, but you may have come off too wanting.

never go grocery shopping when your very hungry

JD10367 · 06-20-2009, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claythan

Technically I do. At least my middle finger does.

I'm new to the party. Is the running joke in this thread that you're a virgin?

I would think, in this day and age of psychopaths and STDs, if you told her that she'd probably be so frigging happy to find a (probably) clean and (relatively) innocent guy that she'd jump you right there in the car.

SPATCH · 06-20-2009, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BossChief

I would have dived into the deep end at the gas station and while we were kissing, would have softly taken her hand and had it just graze my package.

The key in this situation is to not seem completely obvious, and come off creepy, but to put dick in her subconscience.

Before the next date, blow a load in the shower so you dont seem so needy.

I hate to say it, but you may have come off too wanting.

never go grocery shopping when your very hungry

always flog the dolphin before a date

Hammock Parties · 06-20-2009, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JD10367

I'm new to the party. Is the running joke in this thread that you're a virgin?

I would think, in this day and age of psychopaths and STDs, if you told her that she'd probably be so frigging happy to find a (probably) clean and (relatively) innocent guy that she'd jump you right there in the car.

She's a 30-year old divorcee.

She needs someone to **** her with skill.

That ain't me.

SPATCH · 06-20-2009, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JD10367

I'm new to the party. Is the running joke in this thread that you're a virgin?

I would think, in this day and age of psychopaths and STDs, if you told her that she'd probably be so frigging happy to find a (probably) clean and (relatively) innocent guy that she'd jump you right there in the car.

probably not

JD10367 · 06-20-2009, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the_spatula

always flog the dolphin before a date

And during, if the date's boring.

JD10367 · 06-20-2009, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claythan

She's a 30-year old divorcee.

She needs someone to **** her with skill.

That ain't me.

How do you know?

First off, there's no telling that her ex had skill.

Second, there's no telling that you don't. Hell, if you don't get it a lot, at least you'll be enthusiastic about it, which is probably all she's looking for at this point. (Just try not to slobber when you're down there. Think "melting ice cream cone" and remember to take a Benadryl beforehand, 'cause there's nothing worse than having a faceful of poontang and then realizing your hayfever is making it impossible to breathe through your nose so your choices are a.) break the mood and come up for a gulp of air or b.) suffocate in it.)

Hammock Parties · 06-20-2009, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JD10367

How do you know?

First off, there's no telling that her ex had skill.

Second, there's no telling that you don't. Hell, if you don't get it a lot, at least you'll be enthusiastic about it, which is probably all she's looking for at this point. (Just try not to slobber when you're down there. Think "melting ice cream cone" and remember to take a Benadryl beforehand, 'cause there's nothing worse than having a faceful of poontang and then realizing your hayfever is making it impossible to breathe through your nose so your choices are a.) break the mood and come up for a gulp of air or b.) suffocate in it.)

Encouraging words? What the ****?

JOhn · 06-20-2009, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claythan

Encouraging words? What the ****?

Hammock Parties · 06-20-2009, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the_spatula

always flog the dolphin before a date

That's bullshit. I need as much coal driving my engine as possible. I'm not naturally aggressive with women.

JD10367 · 06-20-2009, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claythan

Encouraging words? What the ****?

It's pretty simple. Quiet moans; you're doing good. A few outbursts of "oh god" and some muscle spasms on her part;you're doing excellent. If you hear bored sighs, it's not going so well. If you hear snores... well, at least you can finish your business before she wakes up and take off outta there.

JD10367 · 06-20-2009, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claythan

That's bullshit. I need as much coal driving my engine as possible. I'm not naturally aggressive with women.

Dude. Didn't you see that horror movie spoof, where the kid pinned the chick to the roof with his ejaculation?

You don't want to drown the poor woman.

SPATCH · 06-20-2009, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claythan

That's bullshit. I need as much coal driving my engine as possible. I'm not naturally aggressive with women.

it'ssssssss.... from a movie

oh nvm

**DeezNutz** · 06-20-2009, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claythan

That's bullshit. I need as much coal driving my engine as possible. I'm not naturally aggressive with women.

Do you possess a pair of balls?

If you responded, "Yes.", then you should never give a girl the easy one.

Hammock Parties · 06-20-2009, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeezNutz

Do you possess a pair of balls?

If you responded, "Yes.", then you should never give a girl the easy one.

I don't see what the issue is if she sucks my cawk first.

06-22-2007, 07:09 PM
luv You think you can get by this? Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Springfield, MO Casino cash: $-470000	I have a date. I guess this will be the **Official TMI Thread** Last edited by luv; 03-08-2010 at 01:24 AM..
Posts: 63,507

06-20-2009, 10:32 PM	#6181
BossChief SuperBowl or bust Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: BF Iowa Casino cash: $-115912	I would have dived into the deep end at the gas station and while we were kissing, would have softly taken her hand and had it just graze my package. The key in this situation is to not seem completely obvious, and come off creepy, but to put dick in her subconscience. Before the next date, blow a load in the shower so you dont seem so needy. I hate to say it, but you may have come off too wanting. never go grocery shopping when your very hungry
Posts: 47,573