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Old 04-28-2021, 10:46 PM  
patteeu patteeu is offline
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I知 leaving forever.
Seriously, I am.


I know what you’re thinking. Maybe I got annoyed by something someone said. Maybe after two Super Bowls in a row I’m satiated on the Chiefs. Maybe I’m going to prison, or joining Dick Cheney on a barnstorming tour, or maybe the antifreeze actually wasn’t a good idea and I died.

The fun of a farewell forever thread is not in knowing the reason. It’s in not knowing, and the mystery behind the disappearance. MrBlond is legendary not because he was here or because he left, but rather because of how he departed. He was DB Cooper jumping out of the Chiefsplanet plane and disappearing into the night, and with that act he became immortal.

It is now my time to parachute from the plane, and I can assure you that I will not return. It would be enjoyable to become an unsolved Chiefsplanet mystery in the process, but I can’t do that to you. It’s cruel enough that you will no longer get to read my thoughtful prose and learn from my wisdom. I can’t allow you to speculate forever about what became of me, and to always wonder if that guy with the fake glasses and mustache sitting next to you at the game is me.

So I’ve instructed one Chiefsplanet member to reveal the mystery. If this thread ever reaches 1,000 posts, that person will share the reason. But until then, you will have only my boarding pass, a flight attendant’s vague description, and 110,871 posts to remember me by.

Farewell, Chiefsplanet!

(Sound of wind rushing past an open passenger cabin door.)

Last edited by DaFace; 05-18-2021 at 03:00 PM..
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Old 04-30-2021, 12:21 PM   #601
Donger Donger is offline
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Today is National Boob Day.

At least on CP.
May I suggest a nipple type next?
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Old 04-30-2021, 12:22 PM   #602
BigCatDaddy BigCatDaddy is offline
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Old 04-30-2021, 12:22 PM   #603
2bikemike 2bikemike is online now
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This is like the Jerry Lewis Telethon for Muscular Dystrophy.

"Can you just reach in your pocket for just 5 posts?"

"Someday soon we may have a known cure for Patteau's Disease!"
My wife met Jerry Lewis coming our of a grocery store in San Diego. When she mentioned meeting him to the cashier, she said. " I hope he was nice to you, he's not very nice to many people." Jerry must've been having a good day because he was very pleasant to my wife.
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Old 04-30-2021, 12:34 PM   #604
2bikemike 2bikemike is online now
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This thread lost its Burst!
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Old 04-30-2021, 12:36 PM   #605
BigCatDaddy BigCatDaddy is offline
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Old 04-30-2021, 12:37 PM   #606
journeyscarab journeyscarab is offline
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Old 04-30-2021, 12:40 PM   #607
Abba-Dabba Abba-Dabba is offline
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There was a man named Eugene
He liked to roam DC, that was his scene
Though he rarely was a drama queen
His post count still became quite obscene
Make no mistake, politics will convene
Whether it be about a vaccine
Or maybe even hydroxychloroquine
One thing is for certain, this will all be unseen
Like patteeu and a turd flushed down a latrine
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Old 04-30-2021, 12:41 PM   #608
Yosef_Malkovitch Yosef_Malkovitch is online now
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Old 04-30-2021, 12:41 PM   #609
Deberg_1990 Deberg_1990 is offline
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I hope everyone in this thread is caught up in their vaccinations
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Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:

Matt once made a very nice play in Seattle where he spun away from a pass rusher and hit Bowe off his back foot for a first down.

One of the best plays Matt has ever made.
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Old 04-30-2021, 12:45 PM   #610
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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I hope everyone in this thread is caught up in their vaccinations
I've been tracking my immunity in my signature. I'm almost indestructible now.
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Old 04-30-2021, 01:12 PM   #611
2bikemike 2bikemike is online now
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I've been tracking my immunity in my signature. I'm almost indestructible now.
Why are you lagging your family?
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Old 04-30-2021, 01:18 PM   #612
DaFace DaFace is offline
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Old 04-30-2021, 01:26 PM   #613
Deberg_1990 Deberg_1990 is offline
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Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:

Matt once made a very nice play in Seattle where he spun away from a pass rusher and hit Bowe off his back foot for a first down.

One of the best plays Matt has ever made.
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Old 04-30-2021, 01:27 PM   #614
Bearcat Bearcat is offline
Would an idiot do that?
 
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Current temperature in Tempe AZ at 11:16 am is 91ｰ
It's about damn time.
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Old 04-30-2021, 01:28 PM   #615
crayzkirk crayzkirk is offline
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... I think I prefer Paige.
I'd buy that for a dollar!
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