Biggest Regret(s) of Your Life

[GabyKeepsMeWarm]

Young guy at work has kinda taken a liking to me lately. He found out about my “former life”, and he’s been filled with questions and always chatting me up.

He’s a good kid; bright, handsome, and hopefully doesn’t fall into the trappings of life before he even has a chance to get started.

At any rate…. While sharing some stories, I fell upon one that turned into my total regret, combined with rummaging around in some old boxes where I found a few “treasures”, an old photo of my dad with me and my siblings. Been looking for that photo for a long time, and it’s more special after my dad’s passing a few years ago. Found my old Blockbuster member card. An old flyer from my band of 20+ years ago. A huge chunk of ticket stubs from movies and shows I went to from the early 2000’s. And a buttload of old call sheets from the first movie I worked on. Then I found an unopened card/letter that was meant for Spencer Grammer. My heart sank.

I briefly dated her in 2001/2002. We worked together at first, and I was her trainer. We had immediate rapport and chemistry in spite of our age difference. She was only 18 and I was 25. We’d worked together for several weeks before I discovered she was a star’s daughter. Was a busy Saturday and I’m working the info stand, customers everywhere, and I’m locked in on the search computer when I hear her familiar voice, “Hey Tom! Just wanted to say hi! And this is my dad!” I no longer than have the words, “hey Spence”, out of my mouth and there’s Frasier ****ing Crane. Oh. Right. Grammer. Well **** me…

Things were pretty much normal for the next several weeks as we worked aside each other. We were closing together one night and it came up that I had a bootleg DVD of Royal Tennenbaums. She hadn’t seen it, and asked if we could hang out together after work and watch it at my place. Folks, I had reservations knowing her age, but **** it, it’s just watching a movie, right? Well, we’re about 30 minutes into the movie and she puts the moves on me, flat out asking if she can kiss me. So yup. You can imagine how that played out. And it played out again several more times over the following weeks. And it was great. We got along perfectly. No games, no arguments, just pure chemistry.

And then she was going to take off to NYC for a couple months for classes…. And during this time I ran across an online article with her and her dad and according to the site, she was only 16 years old. I FREAKED. I ghosted her completely. She’d call, I never answered. Emails. Nope. Finally talked to her after hearing she was in a serious car wreck and I told her that we couldn’t see each other anymore. Well, turns out the online article’s dates were wrong, she was in fact 18 turning 19, and while it was maybe a slightly inappropriate age gap, it wasn’t illegal, and I wasn’t a sicko getting hunted by the FBI.

I ****ed up. Colossal **** up. I’ve found love a few times since. Plenty of relationships. Nothing has ever worked out. And now I’m middle aged and still single. I haven’t obsessed about her or thought too much about it, but yeah, I regret how that played out. I was naive, listening to my friends too much and not trusting myself enough at that time. I’ll never know if we could’ve continued to be a couple, but I’ll be damned if I haven’t had several moments of wondering what could have been.

Second worst regret…. I’m ashamed to admit I got a DUI after graduating college. Was on my way from the bars with a buddy to grab a bite to eat and “sober up”, but I was driving 7 over the limit, got popped, and spent the night in the pokie. Mom picked me up the following day and her favorite cousin had died the same day. I wished the world would just swallow me up. I spent a good chunk of all the money gifts from graduating college on paying fines, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more ashamed in my life.


So what about you CPer’s? What are your most regrettable moments?

[Third Eye]

I definitely made my share of mistakes along the journey, but I really only regret 2 of them.

The first was electing to stay in KC out of High School so I could play football at William Jewell. I had the opportunity to essentially go anywhere I wanted (not for football) and I probably missed out on some experiences because of that decision. I like where I am now, so regret may not be the right word, but I do think about it from time to time.

The other one, and this one is a legitimate regret, was cheating on an ex. It was a complicated situation, but it was definitely a scumbag move.

[Katipan]

And what if Luv is 15X the mom because of when she had him, and Rain Man avoided the murderous Cowboy stalker that wifey unknowingly escaped, and Showtime developed an unhealthy obsession for cocaine and Funko, and Frazod was crushed by a brand new refrigerator, and DJ ended up in jail for espionage, and Pepe didn’t traumatize the car full of children by jumping off the bridge, and allllllll those ****ing MN kids that would be even dumber without teacher.

Live in the present.

[BWillie]

I invented Twitter in 2003.

[Bump]

Maybe not the biggest but there was this really hot girl that I worked with in college that really wanted to date me but I had a rule that I would never date anyone i worked with and wouldn't make any exception. I should have went for it.

[Rain Man]

In recognition of the butterfly effect, I think an interesting alternative to the 'regrets' question is this: if you could see a magical YouTube video that documents your life in an alternate reality where you made a pivotal decision, what fork in the road would you choose as your starting point?

I don't know if it's a good idea to even watch such a magical video, but it would be really interesting. A lot of us, or likely all of us, have made decisions that put our lives on a fundamentally different course compared to making a different choice. It would be weird to see myself with perhaps a different wife (though we've already confirmed that the universe set me on an irreversible course to my current wife) and a different job and maybe kids and living in a different place.

I would be interested in seeing the results of three different forks in the road.

Fork 1. When I was eighteen, I was going to be an architect. No question about it. That was the plan. Then my high school had a career day. I went to the architect's talk, and heard how it was not a great job and it paid low, and all the cool stuff you see about being an architect is fiction. I then went down the hall where an engineer told us how fantastic engineering was and how it paid great, so my plan changed on that day. I'd like to see how my life would have turned out if I had stayed home sick that day in high school.

Fork 2. When I was eighteen, I won a full-ride four-year scholarship to my dream college. I was stoked. I was all in. Then a couple of really bad things happened, and I couldn't go. Both were out of my control, so it really hurt to give that up. I'd be interested in watching the video of my life in a scenario where I was able to do that.

Fork 3. This one is more of a lark because I didn't really consider it seriously. But it would be a great video to watch to see how far off my life path I could have wandered. When I was graduating college, the Navy was hiring engineers to run nuclear reactors on submarines and aircraft carriers, and I found it really intriguing. I didn't have the gumption to do it, but I wonder how my life would have progressed if I had jumped out of my normalcy to do it.

I wouldn't trade any of these alternate lives for my current life, but it would be fun to see how they would have turned out.

[Katipan]

Oh I’m so doing sports management next lifetime.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Katipan

Oh I’m so doing sports management next lifetime.

While befriending Patrick Mahomes II in his childhood, I presume.

[Katipan]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

While befriending Patrick Mahomes II in his childhood, I presume.

Now that you’ve manifested it, I have no doubt God is writing it down right now. 🥰

I’ll befriend Bronze one day.
But of everything I’ve learned this past NFL season, I get far more of a rush watching the crowd in the stands than the product on the field.

And I recognize the easy lay up joke there, I’m not really allowed to make that joke, so let’s just leave it alone. 😁

[kc rush]

I treated some people pretty poorly along the way which I regret. I turned that into a learning experience and raised my kids to do better.

My biggest regret was not patching things up with my brother. This was a work in progress and on me for plodding along with it. Unfortunately he was in a car accident and passed at 18. I missed my chance. My fault.

[threebag]

Originally Posted by Spott

To be fair, this Gordon Vadakin guy sounds like he was the one in the wrong.

He was the bowling coach for the Wichita State Shockers. He coached for like 40yrs.

[scho63]

Being a Chiefs fan from 1970 to 2017 before Mahomes was drafted. I could have saved myself years of stress and false hopes......

[Bearcat]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

In recognition of the butterfly effect, I think an interesting alternative to the 'regrets' question is this: if you could see a magical YouTube video that documents your life in an alternate reality where you made a pivotal decision, what fork in the road would you choose as your starting point?

I don't know if it's a good idea to even watch such a magical video, but it would be really interesting. A lot of us, or likely all of us, have made decisions that put our lives on a fundamentally different course compared to making a different choice. It would be weird to see myself with perhaps a different wife (though we've already confirmed that the universe set me on an irreversible course to my current wife) and a different job and maybe kids and living in a different place.

I would be interested in seeing the results of three different forks in the road.

Fork 1. When I was eighteen, I was going to be an architect. No question about it. That was the plan. Then my high school had a career day. I went to the architect's talk, and heard how it was not a great job and it paid low, and all the cool stuff you see about being an architect is fiction. I then went down the hall where an engineer told us how fantastic engineering was and how it paid great, so my plan changed on that day. I'd like to see how my life would have turned out if I had stayed home sick that day in high school.

Fork 2. When I was eighteen, I won a full-ride four-year scholarship to my dream college. I was stoked. I was all in. Then a couple of really bad things happened, and I couldn't go. Both were out of my control, so it really hurt to give that up. I'd be interested in watching the video of my life in a scenario where I was able to do that.

Fork 3. This one is more of a lark because I didn't really consider it seriously. But it would be a great video to watch to see how far off my life path I could have wandered. When I was graduating college, the Navy was hiring engineers to run nuclear reactors on submarines and aircraft carriers, and I found it really intriguing. I didn't have the gumption to do it, but I wonder how my life would have progressed if I had jumped out of my normalcy to do it.

I wouldn't trade any of these alternate lives for my current life, but it would be fun to see how they would have turned out.

There wasn't one specific fork when I was choosing a college, but that's kind of the issue... got some junk mail, applied to Northwest Missouri State, went there. In-state tuition, close to KC. I guess the fork could be thinking twice about that, even though I never really did.

In college, a buddy of mine got an internship at DisneyWorld along with several other people... I didn't get it and was pretty bitter about it at the time. I don't think life would have turned out better, but it would be interesting to see it play out (my buddy never left Disney; guessing I would have after one summer, since the initial intern was mostly just amusement park labor and had zilch to do with IT.. but who knows, maybe just the name on a resume would have helped, too).

Other interesting forks would be career-related... if I didn't move to Omaha for an IT job or never moved to Arizona. The former was huge jump for my career, but who knows, could have easily landed elsewhere later (and I ended up moving back to KC a couple years later anyway). The Arizona move was kind of on a whim... I imagine the other side of that decision would be someone traveling through time with me in that multiverse and saying "and this is what your life would have looked like" and future self says "oh god no, take me back to Arizona!" and multiverse me is all "what the **** was that?"

[Easy 6]

Regrets?

I've had a few

But then again, too few to mention

[threebag]

Originally Posted by scho63

Being a Chiefs fan from 1970 to 2017 before Mahomes was drafted. I could have saved myself years of stress and false hopes......

So, you’d give up on the 10” python, mullet and Camaro? That’s loser mentality, bro.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Bearcat

...

In college, a buddy of mine got an internship at DisneyWorld along with several other people... I didn't get it and was pretty bitter about it at the time. I don't think life would have turned out better, but it would be interesting to see it play out (my buddy never left Disney; guessing I would have after one summer, since the initial intern was mostly just amusement park labor and had zilch to do with IT.. but who knows, maybe just the name on a resume would have helped, too).

...

I have a couple of younger relatives who are sisters. The older one got one of those Disney internships, and my impression is that it was just a fun summer lark for her. She's a competent person so I'm sure she did a good job. The younger one had a complete Disney obsession, embracing all things Disney growing up, so she applied a couple of years later and was very excited about going ... and didn't get it.