For those with children: Do you think you’re a better parent than your parents were?

[ThaVirus]

Discuss

[ToxSocks]

Originally Posted by Spott

Not as much, but honestly sometimes I would get more compliments from it while I was going through it. It’s almost like people don’t expect guys to take that role and just assume it’s a given that women will be the ones to do it. Fwiw, it was damn hard and I don’t recommend it. People need to work through that relationships, especially when they have children.

In cali we have this program called "WIC". It's a food voucher program. WIC stands for "Women, Infants and Children".

I was like...idk, 10-11 years old, handn't eaten in 2 days, and my dad and I went to their office for food and we got turned away.

We got turned away because WIC is for WOMEN, infants and children. And because my dad wasn't a women, we weren't eligible. LOL.

Society always has had much more patience and care for single women raising children than single men.

To my understanding they've since changed that policy but still....

[Katipan]

My dad had to carry my birth certificate around in his wallet because people would find a white male with a young brown girl to be odd.

[Fansy the Famous Bard]

Not even close. My mom was a saint. I'm more like an average Joe that had kids and was like "oh ****".

[loochy]

I'm about the same I guess. My parents were pretty good. I think I'm pretty good.

[stumppy]

Well, I've never used any of my children as accessories to a felony. I've also never encouraged them to a crime. That's the tip of the iceberg so I'm gonna go out on a limb and say yes, I'm a better parent than my mother was. My father passed away when I was 6 months old.

[golfindude]

My kids are great kids so my wife and I must have done something right. However times were tougher in the 50's and 60's. My Dad worked many more hours a week then I and was not available to 'pal' around with his kids like I am able to do.. Mom kept busy doing laundry by hand, cooking meals, etc for 5 kids . That was a full time job. When I got married I made a promise I would spend more time/ attention to my kids then I got. That's not a complaint aimed at my parents but just a fact of life during the times I grew up.

[stumppy]

Originally Posted by Katipan

We had a big conversation on CP when it happened. Wasn’t a secret. But I’m delighted to think you might not know half the shit about me that I’ve posted about. 😁

Damn, sorry to hear that. Must have happened while I was away for awhile.

[notorious]

Originally Posted by stumppy

Well, I've never used any of my children as accessories to a felony. I've also never encouraged them to a crime. That's the tip of the iceberg so I'm gonna go out on a limb and say yes, I'm a better parent than my mother was. My father passed away when I was 6 months old.

Oh Stump, I’m sorry my man.

[HonestChieffan]

Yes. But that said, son could improve on my efforts. Looking back I would have made changes.

[stumppy]

Originally Posted by notorious

Oh Stump, I’m sorry my man.

Appreciate it. A good thing that came of it is I was one street-smart kid as I grew up. And that has served me well all my life.

[notorious]

Originally Posted by stumppy

Appreciate it. A good thing that came of it is I was one street-smart kid as I grew up. And that has served me well all my life.

You and Tox did it the hard way. That’s pretty impressive.

[Rain Man]

I won't bother people with my family traumas, but I'll share something that I alway found kind of sad and funny.

My father was always vaguely aware of a smallish person in his house, but never wanted anything to do with me. We're very different people to boot, so we never had any type of bonding experience. Then about a year before I moved away to start my life, he suddenly realized that I was leaving and got sentimental. My mother had always purchased the Christmas gifts in the family, but he suddenly decided that he wanted to be part of it. However, he didn't know me very well and he didn't know how to buy gifts, so he went to that engraving store that used to be in every mall ("Things Remembered"). During various holidays in my final year in the house, he gave me a signet ring with my initial on it, and a money clip with my initials engraved on it, and something else with my initials on it (maybe cuff links or something, but I feel like it was something else).

None of these were things that I would use, and I could tell that he had no idea what to do. It was kind of funny that he always gave me something engraved, and it was never something I would really use. I appreciated his effort, but the truth is that it merely reinforced the fact that he had had no interest in me for my entire childhood, and was suddenly recognizing that and trying to fix it far too late. The gifts mostly made me feel sorry for him.

[stumppy]

Originally Posted by notorious

You and Tox did it the hard way. That’s pretty impressive.

Lucky I was never homeless like Tox.

I look back on my childhood and just at all the things I experienced. Some of it was horrible but man, the stories I could tell. 6 years old and I was a lookout for an arson job. And it gets more outrageous from there.

[ThaVirus]

Some of you guys have gone through some heavy shit.

It’s kind of a cruel thing that the worst experience tend to make us stronger in the long run. I’d love to see a world in which nothing bad ever happened. Just to see.

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I didn't have children, which was the best possible parenting I could have done.

Any regrets from you and the Mrs about never having them?

Via observation of people that I've known since childhood, I've noticed that everyone parents in the same way that they were parented. They'll complain about how they were parented and will then do the same thing with their kids. It's kind of amazing once you notice it. There are a few generational twists, but the core principles carry from one generation to the next as if they're purely genetic.

This is so true in a lot of ways. It seems it’s very hard to break the chain.