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#31 |
In Search of a Life
Join Date: Oct 2012
Casino cash: $-1675336
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Are you having an affair with a squirrel?
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Posts: 20,924
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#32 |
Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: floating in a tin can
Casino cash: $-1594801
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Why just today, my husbandly duties included disposing of a squirrel carcass that suddenly appeared in the backyard. It looked fairly healthy, other than his lower jaw being missing.
There is a squirrel assassin out there.
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What am I even doing here? |
Posts: 3,930
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#33 |
Just Lurking
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Ozark Mountain Country
Casino cash: $-1692096
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Posts: 2,118
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#34 |
Seize life. Be an ermine.
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: My house
Casino cash: $-402449
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Sounds like someone in your neighborhood is setting out Mentos for the squirrels and someone else is setting out Pepsi.
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Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history. |
Posts: 145,176
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#35 |
Live free or die hard
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Durango, CO
Casino cash: $-641618
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Posts: 28,224
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#36 | |
King Shit of **** Mountain
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Texarkana, Texas
Casino cash: $-1064563
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Quote:
We had a mouse problem in the dorm at Drury. Bastard would get to your food wherever it was. They wouldn’t do anything about it. I moved the head of my bed towards the built in desk, laid a trail of donut crumbs to the edge, which led them to jump into a metal trash can where they were incinerated with a can of Right Guard and a lighter. Then they were crucified on popsicle sticks from the dining hall and displayed on the landing between floors 1 and 2. After I hung about 50 of the ****ers, they addressed the problem. |
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Posts: 51,491
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#37 | |
Just a li'l Evel
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Bald. Goatee. Jorts.
Casino cash: $2449601
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Quote:
You just moved yourself one tick closer to the Jeffrey Dahmer side of the graph. Last edited by TinyEvel; Yesterday at 05:06 PM.. |
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Posts: 12,301
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#38 |
Cool as a Cucumber
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: on the edge
Casino cash: $2896717
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If you have a spring (similar to the one on those infant johnny jump up toys) and attach a hook on the end of it, attach it to a limb with the hook on the bottom. Crab an ear of deer corn stick it on the hook and watch the squirrels get it.
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A D with Sneed is a D indeed. |
Posts: 3,827
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#39 |
I'll be back.
Join Date: Nov 2002
Casino cash: $1080478
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What was I supposed to do? The thing was stunned, not dead. I wasn't about to reach over and grab it and have it risk biting me or something. So I emptied the rest of a bottle of hand sanitizer over it's head. I think the shock paralyzed it further. Funny thing about hand sanitizer. It's HIGHLY flammable. It's an even better firestarter than lighter fluid. And I emptied that WHOLE bottle onto the ****ing thing. It was drenched like a sewer rat. Grabbed the box of matches nearby, skritch-skratch, and tossed the flame onto Mousey Denethor. Set a fire in his flesh. He went up like Gondor was calling for aid. But none came. His heart probably exploded because I didn't hear any screeching. The smell lingered terribly for a few days.
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Chiefs game films |
Posts: 296,561
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#40 |
Did you hear what I said?
Join Date: Aug 2000
Casino cash: $-506615
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These things are pretty awesome. Kudos to whoever invited them.
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Posts: 121,693
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#41 |
Politically Incorrect
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Casino cash: $-660000
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Anything like:
Running with the Bulls? Herding Cats? Shooting Fish in a Barrell? Corralling Sheep? Dances with Wolves? Wrangling Horses?
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"The only difference between sex for free and sex for money is that sex for free costs you a WHOLE LOT more!" ~Redd Foxx~ ![]() "The men who drafted Patrick Mahomes" ![]() |
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#42 |
Woman should only make babies
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Apartment "G UNIT!"
Casino cash: $-143864
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I shot a squirrel just to watch him die
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Posts: 54,930
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#43 |
Politically Incorrect
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Casino cash: $-660000
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"I kissed a squirrel and I liked it, the taste of her acorn Chapstick." Katy the Astronaut
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"The only difference between sex for free and sex for money is that sex for free costs you a WHOLE LOT more!" ~Redd Foxx~ ![]() "The men who drafted Patrick Mahomes" ![]() |
Posts: 54,882
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#44 |
In Search of a Life
Join Date: Oct 2012
Casino cash: $-1675336
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Posts: 20,924
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#45 |
Politically Incorrect
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Casino cash: $-660000
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1. Jessica Simpson
2. Katy Perry 3. AOC Need at least one of those 3 to whip those puppies out..
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"The only difference between sex for free and sex for money is that sex for free costs you a WHOLE LOT more!" ~Redd Foxx~ ![]() "The men who drafted Patrick Mahomes" ![]() |
Posts: 54,882
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