Your best Story

[Iowanian]

Tell us your best story. Your best day, the wildest thing you've seen, an event in your life.

I'm looking for the story that defines your life, the one you'd tell your grandkids around a campfire, the one you and your old friends re-tell half a box of beer into a night.

Tell us about the time you saw your dad kill a bear with his case knife, the day you won the lottery, the turd that was born with your child, the day your grandpa took you fishing.....good, bad, ugly. Your best story.

The only rule, it has to be true to the best of your memory. Go.

[Baby Lee]

Originally Posted by seclark

^this is a good one^
c'mon you a-holes, it's Friday afternoon. entertain!
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She rode a dirt bike. Wow!!

Someone's hitting on the girl.

[seclark]

and I tipped my Honda 350 over w/my future wife on the back on july 4th 1980. she says that was the day our twins were conceived so I figure it was caused by falling off the bike, cause I only tagged her once that day.
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[seclark]

Originally Posted by Baby Lee

She rode a dirt bike. Wow!!

Someone's hitting on the girl.

ah blow it out your ass bl...you've got some purty words. give us a story.
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[seclark]

I mean besides band camp.
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[KS Smitty]

Originally Posted by Baby Lee

She rode a dirt bike. Wow!!

Someone's hitting on the girl.

AND....we lived happily ever after.

[Baby Lee]

Originally Posted by seclark

I mean besides band camp.
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pre-law camp, . . . with cheerleaders, in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do and no supervision. especially when it's out of the blue.

Plus, I'm watching KU actually play well.

[seclark]

Originally Posted by Baby Lee

pre-law camp, . . . with cheerleaders, in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do and no supervision. especially when it's out of the blue.

Plus, I'm watching KU actually play well.

gotcha
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[eDave]

Originally Posted by seclark

^this is a good one^
c'mon you a-holes, it's Friday afternoon. entertain!
sec

My first date with Mrs. eDave consisted of going out in the boonies on my Yamaha 360. Fun times were had.

Fast forward 5 years or so…We are riding the 360 around town when I decided to drop by my folks house. My dad and brother were in the backyard doing something and when I saw them I KNEW I had to pop a wheelie. Mrs. eDave is in my ear with some shit like “don’t pop a wheelie; I don’t have on the right shoes”. I’m like whatever, you know what I do.

So I dropped a gear, gassed it and up we went! Should have listened to Mrs. eDave! Her feet just slid right off the foot pegs and she was running behind the bike with her arms still around my waist. I think she was trying to hop back on but just as she did I shift gears and she was gone.

Looking back, I saw that she performed a beautiful tuck and roll. I freaked and just threw down the bike. My dad and my brother were running to see if she was alright. When I got there, she looked at me and said, and I quote, “I told you not to pop a wheelie” and she went in the house.

Thankfully, she was fine. Had a little gravel in her elbow but nothing else. My dad told her later that was when he knew she was the girl for me.

And he was right!

[KS Smitty]

Originally Posted by eDave

My first date with Ms. Smitty consisted of going out in the boonies on my Yamaha 360. Fun times were had.

Fast forward 5 years or so…We are riding the 360 around town when I decided to drop by my folks house. My dad and brother were in the backyard doing something and when I saw them I KNEW I had to pop a wheelie. Ms. Smitty is in my ear with some shit like “don’t pop a wheelie; I don’t have on the right shoes”. I’m like whatever, you know what I do.

So I dropped a gear, gassed it and up we went! Should have listened to Ms Smitty! Her feet just slid right off the foot pegs and she was running behind the bike with her arms still around my waist. I think she was trying to hop back on but just as she did I shift gears and she was gone.

Looking back, I saw that she performed a beautiful tuck and roll. I freaked and just threw down the bike. My dad and my brother were running to see if I was alright. When I got there, she looked at me and said, and I quote, “I told you not to pop a wheelie” and she went in the house.

Thankfully, she was fine. Had a little gravel in her elbow but nothing else. My dad told her later that was when he knew she was the girl for me.

And he was right!

Sounds familiar.

[Baby Lee]

Originally Posted by seclark

gotcha
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The tough part is coming up with stories I haven't already told here.

Toyed with retelling the time I was out shopping when fecal urgency hit hard and the ONLY toilet was already full of prior leavings. Had to hover as the mound ended up above the rim. Tried flushing halfway through and it just overflowed the toilet. Walked out with the soles of my shoes squishing and blended into the crowd.

If they're gonna leave me high and not so dry like that, eff 'em. Let them find out for themselves.

[Baby Lee]

Originally Posted by KS Smitty

Sounds familiar.

Similar to hanging with my cousins down in Louisiana. Real backwoods good ol' boys. Take the ATVs out with the rifles and shoot shit off logs, jump creeks, etc.

Morning started off much like yours. Grandma made her famous biscuits and I had one in my hand with the butter and sorghum dripping. All ready to enjoy. Hop on the back of the ATV and my cousin decided to goose the throttle. Popped a wheelie, my head flew back and I threw my biscuit about 20 feet.

I miss that biscuit.

[Lonewolf Ed]

Perhaps the funniest thing I ever saw was at Scout camp many years ago. My friend Gary Coon was always sneaking off to explore or find some mischief to partake in. He did like getting the leaders in a tizzy. One afternoon, one of the assistant scout masters called all of us to line up. Everyone but Gary came and got lined up. "Has anyone seen Gary?" he asked. A bunch of shrugs and nos were his answers. Then there was a sound in the latrine just down the hill of someone bumping into a wall. "Gary!" the assistant yelled. "Get on up here." No reply. "Gary!" he repeated. Nothing. Then he got mad and yelled, "COON! Get out of that latrine NOW!"

Then this black kid from another troop walks out and yells at the assistant, "FUGGGG YOU!" We all died laughing and the leader couldn't complete a sentence. "No, I uh, no I meant, uh no no." The poor kid stomped off thinking he'd been racially slurred. When Gary did return, he caught hell and was sentenced to KP duty for the rest of camp!

[Hootie]

roofies

[eDave]

Originally Posted by Lonewolf Ed

Perhaps the funniest thing I ever saw was at Scout camp many years ago. My friend Gary Coon was always sneaking off to explore or find some mischief to partake in. He did like getting the leaders in a tizzy. One afternoon, one of the assistant scout masters called all of us to line up. Everyone but Gary came and got lined up. "Has anyone seen Gary?" he asked. A bunch of shrugs and nos were his answers. Then there was a sound in the latrine just down the hill of someone bumping into a wall. "Gary!" the assistant yelled. "Get on up here." No reply. "Gary!" he repeated. Nothing. Then he got mad and yelled, "COON! Get out of that latrine NOW!"

Then this black kid from another troop walks out and yells at the assistant, "FUGGGG YOU!" We all died laughing and the leader couldn't complete a sentence. "No, I uh, no I meant, uh no no." The poor kid stomped off thinking he'd been racially slurred. When Gary did return, he caught hell and was sentenced to KP duty for the rest of camp!

Oseola?

[Pepe Silvia]

Too many to count but off the top of my head the most epic would have to be my 7th grade weekend at my Aunt and Uncles. We went to the movies and while walking through the mall their was a few survey chicks asking questions. My uncle took one look at them and said "Oh no not those ****ers." Of course a minute later one of them tries to get his attention, she said "Sir would you....." before she could finish her sentence he walked right past her and said "I'm deaf" (while pointing at his ear) To this day we all talk about that classic.