Famous Flatulii - Page 3

**Bob Dole** · 09-17-2001, 11:07 AM

Bob Dole has previously posted about Bob Dole's encounter with Joe Montana in the men's room at Tom Fooleries on the Plaza in KC. Though uneventful, it's been a fairly decent story for quite a few years.

Until today, Bob Dole didn't really think much about the circumstances, but now Bob Dole is concerned that perhaps some sort of strange karma-thing is making itself felt.

Bob Dole was in the men's room across the hall from Bob Dole's office about 10 minutes ago, disposing of the last 2 pots of black coffee. A typical run-of-the-mill everyday occurance that Bob Dole is certain many of the people on here have in common.

Anyway, as with the Joe Montana story, the door opens and Bob Dole turns to look (without coughing, thank you) and Ross Perot strolls in and steps up to the urinal next to Bob Dole.

This makes 2 urinal encounters, and Bob Dole is wondering WTF is up with that?

Besides the connection with the previous encounter, this story is only bettered by the fact that Mr. Perot proceeded to do his best impression of General Colon Bowel barking out orders. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, even the very wealthy are apparently afflicted with flatulence now and again.

Unbelievable.

(And if anyone has any thoughts on why Bob Dole seems to be destined for a life of strange urinal encounters, feel free to jump in and explain...)

KS Smitty · 09-17-2001, 02:22 PM

How about Gaseous Gaffes by the Greats?

redfan · 09-17-2001, 02:23 PM

That eye-watering black cloud of stink came from Donna Douglas.

09-17-2001, 02:24 PM

I have a buddy with a twisted sense of humor that rivals mine and he SWEARS this story is true:

Apparently his sister is just wrapping up business at a highway rest area in rural Alabama (rurl 'bama as in way dowen south) when she hears an extremely large black woman labor up from her perch and exclaim to nobody in particular, "COWN, WHE-AN DID AH EAT COWN?!?!?"

Story cracks me up every time I hear it! Hearing it is probably the operative phrase....

Brock · 09-17-2001, 02:25 PM

It's not a trait unique to Ms. Douglas. I stayed with my grandparents for a couple of weeks last year, and hoo-boy! Must be the Metamucil.

**Baby Lee** · 09-17-2001, 02:33 PM

Didn't happen to me, but I read about a dad who took his 4-5 year old daughter to the hardware store with him. Evidently she was old enough to go the the bathroom on her own, or so he thought.
Anyway she told him she had to go and he let her take off for the ladies room while he continued shopping. A few minutes later, the girl came back and told him the the toilet wouldn't flush and asked if he could come help. Then, rather than take him to the ladies room, she led him over to the plumbing aisle on the showroom floor.
You can guess the rest from there.

KCTitus · 09-17-2001, 02:49 PM

ChiTown...thanks for the laughs. My sides hurt from laughing so hard.

09-17-2001, 02:52 PM

Chi-town,

In all seriousness, that was probably the aftershock of a claustomy bag flush that you felt. I last smelled that when I was 17 years old, but still catch a waft now and then. Nothing can compare!

09-17-2001, 02:54 PM

When I was a kid(5-6th grade) i think my mother had the pleasure of taking all of us shopping with her while on a trip to KC. Brother #3 was probably 2-3 years old. An always adventurous boy, he was a real handfull to keep track of.......and as usual, turn for 1 second and he was gone.....

A frantic search of the area revealed no boy....amidst the confusion a jeans rack shook and out hopped a small boy....looking might mighty guilty...

Further investigation revealed that he had "dropped the kids off" in the middle of the jeans rack and had cleaned himself up with about half a rack of jeans.

Left that little gift basket and were herded home....always wondered who found that....

Zebedee DuBois · 09-17-2001, 03:01 PM

This thread is hilarious!

Have I not matured at all since 7th grade? The spouse would say NO.

Reminds me of a buddy of mine (not famous) who was attending a small Jr.College in S.Dakota. He had started dating a girl, maybe 2 dates, and they were getting fond of one another. One evening he was standing in front of some french doors, just staring at the sunset (apparently that is what they do in S. Dakota for entertainment). The girl came in the room unbeknownst to him, and spying him, she decided to sneek up behind him and scare him. She chose to take her two forefingers and simultaneously poke him in both sides, which she did, startling him and causing him to both jump and suddenly emit an audible and foul report.
He was mortified, and being a kind of shy guy, never got the courage to ask her out again.

Joe Seahawk · 09-17-2001, 03:12 PM

Anybody ever done la maz classes? I have ..:o

During the quick breathing exercise, my wife and I could not help laughing.. (the exercise involved looking at each other and do short quick breaths for a period of time) So, we are doing this exercise and we start to smile , and then we both busted out laughing..I was trying so hard not to laugh that my wind had a trumpet effect (tightening up, well anyway it was loud!) Now the whole class busted out laughing and Mr and Mrs Seahawk were slightly red in the face....

**Bob Dole** · 09-17-2001, 03:15 PM

Can you imagine what visiting Giants fans are reporting back on their home BB about KC fans?

09-17-2001, 03:15 PM

Ever done a military style PFT? It includes doing as many situps as you possibly can in a 2 minute window while your buddy holds your ankles. Well, a blind man could count mine because they were simultaneously announced with a quick "PFFFT"..... Nobody ever wanted to hold my ankles, I always had to "buddy" up with someone new to the unit.

**Baby Lee** · 09-17-2001, 03:17 PM

Nothing like the echoing blasts inevitably emitted in Junior High Gym. You remember the stretching exercise where you laid on your back, brought your knees to your chest and then extended your legs horizontally without letting your heels touch the ground.

The sublime mixture of concrete walls, pine floors, paper thin shorts, the right stretches and a teenager's concept of humor.

**Bob Dole** · 09-17-2001, 03:18 PM

Bob Dole's problem was always with the first 20 steps of running.

Phrack, boop. pffft, skwak, moo, phhh, etc...

Zebedee DuBois · 09-17-2001, 03:23 PM

moo..??

Little neighbor girl came over one day and was watching TV with the kids. Suddenly she says " I made a bean". We all looked at her, wondering what she meant, but almost immediatly sniffed out the answer.

09-17-2001, 11:07 AM
Bob Dole King Shit of **** Mountain Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Texarkana, Texas Casino cash: $535437	Brush with the Famous, Part II Bob Dole has previously posted about Bob Dole's encounter with Joe Montana in the men's room at Tom Fooleries on the Plaza in KC. Though uneventful, it's been a fairly decent story for quite a few years. Until today, Bob Dole didn't really think much about the circumstances, but now Bob Dole is concerned that perhaps some sort of strange karma-thing is making itself felt. Bob Dole was in the men's room across the hall from Bob Dole's office about 10 minutes ago, disposing of the last 2 pots of black coffee. A typical run-of-the-mill everyday occurance that Bob Dole is certain many of the people on here have in common. Anyway, as with the Joe Montana story, the door opens and Bob Dole turns to look (without coughing, thank you) and Ross Perot strolls in and steps up to the urinal next to Bob Dole. This makes 2 urinal encounters, and Bob Dole is wondering WTF is up with that? Besides the connection with the previous encounter, this story is only bettered by the fact that Mr. Perot proceeded to do his best impression of General Colon Bowel barking out orders. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, even the very wealthy are apparently afflicted with flatulence now and again. Unbelievable. (And if anyone has any thoughts on why Bob Dole seems to be destined for a life of strange urinal encounters, feel free to jump in and explain...)
Posts: 50,280

09-17-2001, 02:22 PM	#31
KS Smitty Cool as a Cucumber Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: on the edge Casino cash: $3476717	How about Gaseous Gaffes by the Greats? __________________ A D with Sneed is a D indeed.
Posts: 3,823

09-17-2001, 02:23 PM	#32
redfan Gargling the sweet EZ nectar Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: In the pipe, 5X5 Casino cash: $-8148	Just for the record, Chi That eye-watering black cloud of stink came from Donna Douglas. __________________ KC CHIEFS SB IV LIV LVII LVIII CHAMPIONS "65 Toss Power Trap!" "Triple Gun Trey Right 3 Jet Chip Wasp Y Funnel" "Orange You, Duo Left 30 XL 35 Y Corn Dog" "Trips Right Bunch F Shuttle, Tom&Jerry Right Yellow. Orange, Let's GO!!"
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09-17-2001, 02:24 PM	#33
Phobia Guest Casino cash: $	I have a buddy with a twisted sense of humor that rivals mine and he SWEARS this story is true: Apparently his sister is just wrapping up business at a highway rest area in rural Alabama (rurl 'bama as in way dowen south) when she hears an extremely large black woman labor up from her perch and exclaim to nobody in particular, "COWN, WHE-AN DID AH EAT COWN?!?!?" Story cracks me up every time I hear it! Hearing it is probably the operative phrase.... Last edited by Phobia; 09-17-2001 at 02:36 PM..
Posts: n/a

09-17-2001, 02:25 PM	#34
Brock Say hello to my little friend Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Larryville Casino cash: $9598422	It's not a trait unique to Ms. Douglas. I stayed with my grandparents for a couple of weeks last year, and hoo-boy! Must be the Metamucil.
Posts: 47,314

09-17-2001, 02:33 PM	#35
Baby Lee Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $8288275	Didn't happen to me, but I read about a dad who took his 4-5 year old daughter to the hardware store with him. Evidently she was old enough to go the the bathroom on her own, or so he thought. Anyway she told him she had to go and he let her take off for the ladies room while he continued shopping. A few minutes later, the girl came back and told him the the toilet wouldn't flush and asked if he could come help. Then, rather than take him to the ladies room, she led him over to the plumbing aisle on the showroom floor. You can guess the rest from there. __________________ We need the kind of courage that can withstand the subtle corruption of the cynics - E.W.
Posts: 95,642

09-17-2001, 02:49 PM	#36
KCTitus Archivist Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: The Ethernet Casino cash: $9892732	ChiTown...thanks for the laughs. My sides hurt from laughing so hard. __________________ Anything you post on this BB can and will be used against you...
Posts: 26,193

09-17-2001, 02:52 PM	#37
Phobia Guest Casino cash: $	Chi-town, In all seriousness, that was probably the aftershock of a claustomy bag flush that you felt. I last smelled that when I was 17 years old, but still catch a waft now and then. Nothing can compare!
Posts: n/a

09-17-2001, 02:54 PM	#38
Iowanian Guest Casino cash: $	on a similar note....yet no celebrity When I was a kid(5-6th grade) i think my mother had the pleasure of taking all of us shopping with her while on a trip to KC. Brother #3 was probably 2-3 years old. An always adventurous boy, he was a real handfull to keep track of.......and as usual, turn for 1 second and he was gone..... A frantic search of the area revealed no boy....amidst the confusion a jeans rack shook and out hopped a small boy....looking might mighty guilty... Further investigation revealed that he had "dropped the kids off" in the middle of the jeans rack and had cleaned himself up with about half a rack of jeans. Left that little gift basket and were herded home....always wondered who found that....
Posts: n/a

09-17-2001, 03:01 PM	#39
Zebedee DuBois Veteran Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: floating in a tin can Casino cash: $-74801	This thread is hilarious! Have I not matured at all since 7th grade? The spouse would say NO. Reminds me of a buddy of mine (not famous) who was attending a small Jr.College in S.Dakota. He had started dating a girl, maybe 2 dates, and they were getting fond of one another. One evening he was standing in front of some french doors, just staring at the sunset (apparently that is what they do in S. Dakota for entertainment). The girl came in the room unbeknownst to him, and spying him, she decided to sneek up behind him and scare him. She chose to take her two forefingers and simultaneously poke him in both sides, which she did, startling him and causing him to both jump and suddenly emit an audible and foul report. He was mortified, and being a kind of shy guy, never got the courage to ask her out again. __________________ What am I even doing here?
Posts: 3,853

09-17-2001, 03:12 PM	#40
Joe Seahawk This place entertains.. Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Seattle Casino cash: $6314435	Anybody ever done la maz classes? I have ..:o During the quick breathing exercise, my wife and I could not help laughing.. (the exercise involved looking at each other and do short quick breaths for a period of time) So, we are doing this exercise and we start to smile , and then we both busted out laughing..I was trying so hard not to laugh that my wind had a trumpet effect (tightening up, well anyway it was loud!) Now the whole class busted out laughing and Mr and Mrs Seahawk were slightly red in the face....
Posts: 5,509

09-17-2001, 03:15 PM	#41
Bob Dole King Shit of **** Mountain Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Texarkana, Texas Casino cash: $535437	Can you imagine what visiting Giants fans are reporting back on their home BB about KC fans?
Posts: 50,280

09-17-2001, 03:17 PM	#43
Baby Lee Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $8288275	Nothing like the echoing blasts inevitably emitted in Junior High Gym. You remember the stretching exercise where you laid on your back, brought your knees to your chest and then extended your legs horizontally without letting your heels touch the ground. The sublime mixture of concrete walls, pine floors, paper thin shorts, the right stretches and a teenager's concept of humor. __________________ We need the kind of courage that can withstand the subtle corruption of the cynics - E.W.
Posts: 95,642

09-17-2001, 03:18 PM	#44
Bob Dole King Shit of **** Mountain Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Texarkana, Texas Casino cash: $535437	Bob Dole's problem was always with the first 20 steps of running. Phrack, boop. pffft, skwak, moo, phhh, etc...
Posts: 50,280

09-17-2001, 03:23 PM	#45
Zebedee DuBois Veteran Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: floating in a tin can Casino cash: $-74801	moo..?? Little neighbor girl came over one day and was watching TV with the kids. Suddenly she says " I made a bean". We all looked at her, wondering what she meant, but almost immediatly sniffed out the answer. __________________ What am I even doing here?
Posts: 3,853