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View Poll Results: Who wins?
Sofa King 17 48.57%
kysirsoze 18 51.43%
Voters: 35. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 09-03-2018, 02:10 PM  
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Gladiator 2018 - Round 4, Match 2 - Sofa King versus kysirsoze

We're down to the Elite Eight - the toughest and/or luckiest warriors on the planet.

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is. All participants are handed their weapons at t=0 unless stated otherwise.

Venue - A penguin rookery in Antarctica
Starting Distance - 44 feet

Sofa King

Main Weapon - Pepper spray
Backup Weapon - Bo Staff

Prep Time - 6 seconds
Special Factors - None

kysirsoze

Main Weapon - Brass knuckles with big blades that look like bear claws (both hands)
Backup Weapon - Police baton

Prep Time - 11 Minutes
Special Factors - None
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Old 09-05-2018, 10:33 AM   #31
Sofa King Sofa King is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ's left nut View Post
The Bo staff has a significant reach advantage. It would be hard to get inside of one of those to attack with the wolverine claws.

I think Sofa King holds him back with some well time parries and thrusts before Kysir makes a wild lunge and Sofa comes around to brain him.

The actual 'death' process will be pretty nasty as it will just be a whole bunch of blunt force trauma to the face, but I feel like Sofa has the better weapon to neutralize and incapacitate.
I agree. You’re an intelligent human.
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Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 09-05-2018, 10:38 AM   #32
kysirsoze kysirsoze is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ's left nut View Post
The Bo staff has a significant reach advantage. It would be hard to get inside of one of those to attack with the wolverine claws.

I think Sofa King holds him back with some well time parries and thrusts before Kysir makes a wild lunge and Sofa comes around to brain him.

The actual 'death' process will be pretty nasty as it will just be a whole bunch of blunt force trauma to the face, but I feel like Sofa has the better weapon to neutralize and incapacitate.
Haha. Outrageous. Sofa hasn't even bothered to claim any kind of weapon proficiency. No way he could pull off what you're suggesting. I have punched people before. All the proficiency I need with my very simple and extremely deadly weapon.
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kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 09-05-2018, 10:45 AM   #33
Sofa King Sofa King is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kysirsoze View Post
Haha. Outrageous. Sofa hasn't even bothered to claim any kind of weapon proficiency. No way he could pull off what you're suggesting. I have punched people before. All the proficiency I need with my very simple and extremely deadly weapon.
Donkey Punching your mom in the fart box doesn’t count bitch.
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Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 09-05-2018, 10:47 AM   #34
kysirsoze kysirsoze is offline
SNAP THE ****ING BALL!!!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King View Post
Donkey Punching your mom in the fart box doesn’t count bitch.
I feel like punching your face wouldn't be a lot different. Her defenses are probably stronger, too.
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kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 09-05-2018, 10:58 AM   #35
Sofa King Sofa King is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kysirsoze View Post
I feel like punching your face wouldn't be a lot different. Her defenses are probably stronger, too.
Bitch, I’ve seen your mom, his defenses are definitely mighty.
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Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 09-05-2018, 08:31 PM   #36
Sofa King Sofa King is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King View Post
Don’t forget to cast your votes (for me) if you haven’t already.
It's not too late. Come ride with me all the way to the end!
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Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 09-06-2018, 02:16 PM   #37
Sofa King Sofa King is offline
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I dedicate this bump to all those people who are excited to see Patrick Mahomes this weekend. Those people should definitely vote for Sofa King
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Old 09-06-2018, 02:34 PM   #38
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At the end of the day, Antarctic penguins who have never encountered a polar bear find themselves in therapy, and kysirsoze moves on to Round 5 (the final four).
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 09-06-2018, 03:32 PM   #39
Sofa King Sofa King is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
At the end of the day, Antarctic penguins who have never encountered a polar bear find themselves in therapy, and kysirsoze moves on to Round 5 (the final four).
You ended this too soon
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Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 09-07-2018, 02:29 AM   #40
kysirsoze kysirsoze is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King View Post
You ended this too soon
Sorry man. Guess three aren't many Mahomes fans on this board, you pandering bastard.
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kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 09-07-2018, 06:08 AM   #41
Sofa King Sofa King is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kysirsoze View Post
Sorry man. Guess three aren't many Mahomes fans on this board, you pandering bastard.
I was down a vote, launched my hail mary. The problem was Rain Man cut the damn poll short! I just needed a little more time.

Oh well, guess my job is to either back you up the rest of the tournament or be the villian and try to tear you down. I'll have to see how i feel after I get done ruining Rain Man's reputation.
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Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 09-07-2018, 07:41 AM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King View Post
You ended this too soon
That's not what the penguins said.
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 09-07-2018, 10:21 AM   #43
kysirsoze kysirsoze is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofa King View Post
I was down a vote, launched my hail mary. The problem was Rain Man cut the damn poll short! I just needed a little more time.

Oh well, guess my job is to either back you up the rest of the tournament or be the villian and try to tear you down. I'll have to see how i feel after I get done ruining Rain Man's reputation.
After your spurious mult claims, you owe me.
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kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.kysirsoze is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 09-07-2018, 10:25 AM   #44
Sofa King Sofa King is offline
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Originally Posted by kysirsoze View Post
After your spurious mult claims, you owe me.
I think maybe you should take a step back and look at what kind of person you are that people would so quickly assume your shadiness.
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Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 09-07-2018, 10:31 AM   #45
Sofa King Sofa King is offline
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Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
That's not what the penguins said.
Better check your sources.
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Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.Sofa King is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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