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Old 04-28-2021, 10:46 PM  
patteeu patteeu is offline
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I’m leaving forever.
Seriously, I am.


I know what you’re thinking. Maybe I got annoyed by something someone said. Maybe after two Super Bowls in a row I’m satiated on the Chiefs. Maybe I’m going to prison, or joining Dick Cheney on a barnstorming tour, or maybe the antifreeze actually wasn’t a good idea and I died.

The fun of a farewell forever thread is not in knowing the reason. It’s in not knowing, and the mystery behind the disappearance. MrBlond is legendary not because he was here or because he left, but rather because of how he departed. He was DB Cooper jumping out of the Chiefsplanet plane and disappearing into the night, and with that act he became immortal.

It is now my time to parachute from the plane, and I can assure you that I will not return. It would be enjoyable to become an unsolved Chiefsplanet mystery in the process, but I can’t do that to you. It’s cruel enough that you will no longer get to read my thoughtful prose and learn from my wisdom. I can’t allow you to speculate forever about what became of me, and to always wonder if that guy with the fake glasses and mustache sitting next to you at the game is me.

So I’ve instructed one Chiefsplanet member to reveal the mystery. If this thread ever reaches 1,000 posts, that person will share the reason. But until then, you will have only my boarding pass, a flight attendant’s vague description, and 110,871 posts to remember me by.

Farewell, Chiefsplanet!

(Sound of wind rushing past an open passenger cabin door.)

Last edited by DaFace; 05-18-2021 at 03:00 PM..
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Old 04-29-2021, 08:27 PM   #316
eDave eDave is offline
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Old 04-29-2021, 08:28 PM   #317
Katipan Katipan is online now
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First politician I ever had first-person contact with was Reagan, gave him a high-five on a class trip when he came to KC downtown airport in 83/84.

Bonus, a cute classmate sat on my shoulders to watch his speech after that high-five.
He’s probably why I grew up thinking you lot were great people, just misguided.
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Old 04-29-2021, 08:50 PM   #318
Yosef_Malkovitch Yosef_Malkovitch is offline
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First politician I ever had first-person contact with was Reagan, gave him a high-five on a class trip when he came to KC downtown airport in 83/84.

Bonus, a cute classmate sat on my shoulders to watch his speech after that high-five.
My brother shook Gorbachev's hand when he visited McConnell AFB in Wichita. I was several yards behind him.
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Old 04-29-2021, 08:55 PM   #319
Katipan Katipan is online now
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If you have a large penis, odds are you don’t use the fly on your underwear.
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Old 04-29-2021, 08:57 PM   #320
Raiderhater Raiderhater is offline
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If you have a large penis, odds are you don’t use the fly on your underwear.
Not using underwear at all works even better.
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Old 04-29-2021, 08:59 PM   #321
NewChief NewChief is offline
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His dial up modem finally crapped out.
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Old 04-29-2021, 08:59 PM   #322
mlyonsd mlyonsd is offline
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If you have a large penis, odds are you don’t use the fly on your underwear.
Have you done your own research to know this is true?
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Old 04-29-2021, 09:00 PM   #323
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Not using underwear at all works even better.

Yip
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Old 04-29-2021, 09:01 PM   #324
Frazod Frazod is offline
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First politician I ever had first-person contact with was Reagan, gave him a high-five on a class trip when he came to KC downtown airport in 83/84.

Bonus, a cute classmate sat on my shoulders to watch his speech after that high-five.
I met then Governor Kit Bond a few times when I was a kid living in Jefferson City. Trick-or-treated at his house in Shell Ridge once before he was elected the first time. His wife was stingy as **** with the candy.

John Danforth was my (exceedingly boring) high school graduation speaker. Shook my hand after I got my diploma.

I waived at Jimmy Carter when he was getting out of a car in the Chicago Loop one day. He waived back. Dude is TINY. Like a friggin elf.

Exchanged good mornings with Rahm Emmanuel near my office building once. Yeah, he was a scumbag, but not being raised by wolves/liberals, I was respectful.

That's all I got.
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Old 04-29-2021, 09:03 PM   #325
mlyonsd mlyonsd is offline
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His dial up modem finally crapped out.
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Old 04-29-2021, 09:05 PM   #326
BigRedChief BigRedChief is offline
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What is the 23rd Pillar?
Something to do with Jewish space lasers?
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Old 04-29-2021, 09:06 PM   #327
Easy 6 Easy 6 is offline
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Not using underwear at all works even better.
Booyah

Outside of dressing up for church, weddings etc in slacks that might give an outline, thus giving nearby women folk a case of the vapors... I haven't put a pair on since 1992

I don't need some restrictive, hotass bra pinching on my nuts
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Old 04-29-2021, 09:06 PM   #328
lewdog lewdog is offline
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Can't wait!!!
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Old 04-29-2021, 09:08 PM   #329
mlyonsd mlyonsd is offline
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Booyah

Outside of dressing up for church, weddings etc in slacks that might give an outline, thus giving nearby women folk a case of the vapors... I haven't put a pair on since 1992

I don't need some restrictive, hotass bra pinching on my nuts
TMI
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Old 04-29-2021, 09:09 PM   #330
mlyonsd mlyonsd is offline
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Once all the angry boomers die, there won't be a need to have the DC forum here.

Can't wait!!!
Get off my lawn.
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