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Old 05-19-2014, 11:46 AM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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I'm on a mission to shit
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-20-2014, 03:01 PM   #286
salame salame is offline
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taco bell usually does it for me
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salame 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisalame 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisalame 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisalame 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisalame 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisalame 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisalame 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisalame 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisalame 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisalame 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisalame 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitelli
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Old 05-20-2014, 03:22 PM   #287
GordonGekko GordonGekko is offline
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Originally Posted by salame View Post
taco bell usually does it for me
Taco Bell is easily the cheapest enima you can buy. A couple $.89 burritos and you will be dropping napalm in under 30 mins.
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GordonGekko Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.GordonGekko Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.GordonGekko Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.GordonGekko Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.GordonGekko Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.GordonGekko Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.GordonGekko Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.GordonGekko Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.GordonGekko Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.GordonGekko Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.GordonGekko Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 05-20-2014, 04:01 PM   #288
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Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
This was again explosive, wet and a powerful shock to my recently evacuated bowels. The formation resembled the Philippines.
This is the first post I've laughed at on CP in a long time.
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Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.
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Old 05-20-2014, 04:05 PM   #289
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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This is the first post I've laughed at on CP in a long time.
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-20-2014, 04:06 PM   #290
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How are you not dehydrated?
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Old 05-20-2014, 04:08 PM   #291
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Originally Posted by Rams Fan View Post
How are you not dehydrated?
I'm very dehydrated.
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-20-2014, 04:12 PM   #292
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Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
I'm very dehydrated.
You need to drink quite a large amount of water then. You need to be pissing colorless urine to go along with your cataclysmic shits.
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Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Rams Fan 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.
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Old 05-20-2014, 04:15 PM   #293
htismaqe htismaqe is online now
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Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
I'm very dehydrated.
You need to drink lots of water. Dehydration + pain killers = big problems.
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htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-20-2014, 04:16 PM   #294
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Originally Posted by htismaqe View Post
You need to drink lots of water. Dehydration + pain killers = big problems.
I've been drinking all day. Just had some pedialyte actually.
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-20-2014, 04:18 PM   #295
htismaqe htismaqe is online now
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I've been drinking all day. Just had some pedialyte actually.
That's good.
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htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-20-2014, 04:21 PM   #296
TribalElder TribalElder is offline
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The mathematician worked it out using a #2 pencil

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TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.TribalElder is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-20-2014, 04:28 PM   #297
bevischief bevischief is offline
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VARSITY
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Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
Afternoon update: Almost entirely without warning, a fecal slurry ejects itself from my rectum. I now must treat every quiver of my lower intestine as a possible warning sign of explosive diarrhea. Htismaqe officially added to my list of "People to Kill."

Side note: I haven't shat thrice in one day in a long time.
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bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.bevischief is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-20-2014, 06:34 PM   #298
jerryforeverrice80 jerryforeverrice80 is offline
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im suprise he was bond up with all the crap that comes out his mouth.
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jerryforeverrice80 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.jerryforeverrice80 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.jerryforeverrice80 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.jerryforeverrice80 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.jerryforeverrice80 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.jerryforeverrice80 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.jerryforeverrice80 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.jerryforeverrice80 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.jerryforeverrice80 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.jerryforeverrice80 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.jerryforeverrice80 must have mowed badgirl's lawn.
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Old 05-20-2014, 06:40 PM   #299
LoneWolf LoneWolf is offline
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The mathematician worked it out using a #2 pencil

http://ratemypoo.com
I don't even want to know how you found that site you sick ****, but i laughed my ass off. Go to the staff favorites and check out The Torcher.
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LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.LoneWolf is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-20-2014, 09:09 PM   #300
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Just ate bean soup. My guts are gurglin' and quiverin' like a virgin on prom night.
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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