Marriage Question

[royr17]

Ok lets start here.

I need some help with some things i need to know on gettin married, the do's, the dont's, the things you need to know about that.

I see you guys here some are married some arent so the ones that know stuff i need to know let me know about it.

So what are the things i should know about it, cause i dont wanna wait my whole life to get married, i actually wanna be married before i turn 26 which is 6 years from now.

But I wanna get started early in startin a family, so what are the do's and dont's in marriage ???

Originally Posted by Chico Diablo

It's not my major, but that doesn't mean I don't study it...my major is law.

That doesn't surprise me in the slightest. Just what the world needs - another ****ing know-it-all lawyer who doesn't know shit. I'm looking forward to this.

[The Bad Guy]

Originally Posted by Chico Diablo

Perhaps I'm not human then....

It's likely you aren't. What are you 16? And you're telling me that when you marry whatever wildebeast you decide on, that you won't look at other girls and find them attractive?

You have no experience in the area and have NO idea how you will act when you are married.

You've set up your ideals that you won't find another woman attractive when you get married, but there is zero chance you will feel the same way when you find that unfortunate soul.

This is like having the high school girlfriend and you both go off to seperate colleges and vow to stick together, but it doesn't work.

The thought was good, but it all turned out to be bullshit when high school is over. When you find that someone, you will realize that is true.

I love my fiancee, but I can still look at a woman and determine if she is attractive or not. It's called human nature.

[el borracho]

Originally Posted by Chico Diablo

Perhaps I'm not human then...

Perhaps not...

Originally Posted by Chico Diablo

...my major is law.

[Slayer Diablo]

Originally Posted by Cochise

Slayer, "relationships" with your fists, any sort of doll, a member of the clergy, or a hole in a tree or other wooden structure do not qualify you as some kind of relationship expert. In fact, I would wager that I've done 3 times the damage that you'll ever do in your life, and I still acknowledge that I don't know Raiders about women. Just and quit trying to look like some playeristic baller, because you sure as hell aren't going to pull any wool wearing that rubber nose and floppy red shoes.

I have never said anything about being a relations expert and do not pose as one...whatever your interpretation is, however, is up to you. Now, I don't know what you've had go on in your life--maybe you have done that much damage, maybe you haven't--but it's not always about the damage that you do. Sure there's learning from your mistakes, but it's how much you learn from each time...not to say that I've learned more or less than anyone else. Also, the discussion isn't over knowing anything about women...aw hell, I'll admit on any day that all I know about them is that they're insane. This discussion was about defining the strongest good feeling that you can have for another person, which I may have had a bit of an advantage to depending on how you look at what's happened, but I'm not gonna get into that. Different story, different day...


BTW...**ADDITION TO THE CHIEFSPLANET BOOK OF ACRONYMS: "different story, different day" is to be known as DSDD**...if someone hasn't put it there already, that is.

[badgirl]

Originally Posted by The Bad Guy

It's likely you aren't. What are you 16? And you're telling me that when you marry whatever wildebeast you decide on, that you won't look at other girls and find them attractive?

You have no experience in the area and have NO idea how you will act when you are married.

You've set up your ideals that you won't find another woman attractive when you get married, but there is zero chance you will feel the same way when you find that unfortunate soul.

This is like having the high school girlfriend and you both go off to seperate colleges and vow to stick together, but it doesn't work.

The thought was good, but it all turned out to be bullshit when high school is over. When you find that someone, you will realize that is true.

I love my fiancee, but I can still look at a woman and determine if she is attractive or not. It's called human nature.

I agree with all the above, when people get married, they love the one they are with no matter what, and its only human to find other people attractive as well, if your only in it for looks.....lets say your spouse had cancer on their face and it really messed their looks up, where does that leave your relationship? Its not all about looks when it comes to true love, you love that person no matter what, just cause you find other people attractive doesn't mean your gonna jump in bed with them and risk losing that special person you have at home.

[Thig Lyfe]

ChiefsPlanet is the best place to go for marriage advice.

[FloridaChief]

Originally Posted by Chico Diablo

I have never said anything about being a relations expert and do not pose as one...

Neg rep for the deliberate canard...

[Slayer Diablo]

Originally Posted by The Bad Guy

It's likely you aren't. What are you 16? And you're telling me that when you marry whatever wildebeast you decide on, that you won't look at other girls and find them attractive?

17, but that's beside the point. No, I will probably not have that relationship if I get married because of a couple things that have happened. Basically, it all boiled down to the fact that I have to go "find someone else", which means closing my eyes and acting.

You have no experience in the area and have NO idea how you will act when you are married.

In reality, I'm probably not going to get married in the first place. Now if that person everyone calls "God" decides to bring some awesome miracle that causes me to marry the one girl I have that strongest feeling for, then it's a "no experience necessary" kinda deal.

You've set up your ideals that you won't find another woman attractive when you get married, but there is zero chance you will feel the same way when you find that unfortunate soul.

I'll say it twice in the same post. I'm probably not going to get married, and if I do, it's most likely not going to be what I've already called the right marriage.

This is like having the high school girlfriend and you both go off to seperate colleges and vow to stick together, but it doesn't work.

The thought was good, but it all turned out to be bullshit when high school is over. When you find that someone, you will realize that is true.

Not really...if a guy and a girl go to separate colleges like that in the first place, then it's pretty much a dead giveaway that they're not gonna be back together. The thought isn't good because it is a thought that would keep an infatuation together...best for both to just end the relationship then and there, IMO.

I love my fiancee, but I can still look at a woman and determine if she is attractive or not. It's called human nature.

By your definition, okay. By my definition, however, that wouldn't hold water in the least bit, but don't think for one second that what I believe should be any kind of threat to what you believe. Now about this "human nature"...the majority of people create a sphere of influence over time. Look at "Allegory of the Cave" as an example. People are forced to look at false images since birth and because they know nothing else, they have to believe that is reality. They may break away from the cave wall with the shadows and move toward the fire to see the puppets creating the shadow, but all they have found out is that what they knew was a lie...they still don't know the truth. A person would have to be carried out of the cave kicking and screaming and forced to see what reality is. So that is pretty much why we believe it is "human nature"...whether you agree with that or not, that's for you to decide.

[unlurking]

Oh god.

The "unrequited love" of a teenager.



Now I know where this "font of knowledge" springs from.

[RedNFeisty]

Just don't do it!

Have I mentioned that I hate teacher in service days and school holidays?

[Eleazar]

Originally Posted by unlurking

Oh god.

The "unrequited love" of a teenager.



Now I know where this "font of knowledge" springs from.

This is what happens when your knowledge of relationships comes exclusively from Dawson's Creek reruns

[Slayer Diablo]

Originally Posted by Cochise

This is what happens when your knowledge of relationships comes exclusively from Dawson's Creek reruns

I have always hated Dawson's Creek and every one of those infatuatious bastards. The fans of that show should be cast out of society.

[ChiTown]

Originally Posted by Cochise

This is what happens when your knowledge of relationships comes exclusively from Dawson's Creek reruns

OMG!

[Bearcat]

I came on to this thread thinking about how people would be laughing at roy, even though we shouldn't, because we've all been there.... and really, the only thing we can do is offer advice, even though we know he wouldn't take it.... because we didn't.

8 pages into this though, I was happy to find the advice of Suave Diablo..... it's one thing to be naive and to tell people "I'm really in love" or whatever, but it's just wrong to come off like you're an expert because you think adults are full of it when they say teenagers don't have enough real-life experience. You don't. Don't pretend you do.

Originally Posted by Chico Diablo

EXCEPT every week for that 10 years, the relationship will deteriorate as much as it did in those couple of months; and then get back to us at the end of that couple months...you won't even want to hear the word "marriage".

Is this like the half-life law of marriage? WTF? Is this one of your "facts"?

Originally Posted by Chico Diablo

1) you're not attracted to anyone but the person you're in love with--that covers both mentally and physically. 2) you would go through an eternity of torment just to see the person you love for a split-second. 3) you would do absolutely anything for that person without asking or wanting anything in return--a.k.a. "love has no conditions". 4) you would go through the worst pain imaginable for a trillion years just to know for one second that the one you love is okay. /// There's still a lot that I'm leaving out, but those are the four that I can state without creating an essay.

You were doing okay until this total BS.... for the most part, people appreciate the beauty of the human body. From a young age, to death. Period. It's not just asking too much, it's impossible to take away the basic attraction between you and someone else, much less all but one person. The temptation might go away, but not attraction.

Two and four are high school feelings. The idea that you're trying to be an adult about a topic you hardly know anything about vanishes with these ideas.

Originally Posted by Chico Diablo

Do not even attempt to battle me on this. I know for a fact that the first law is both possible and probable even with humans.

Please elaborate.

Originally Posted by Chico Diablo

8, and enough.
...
after 9 girls to see who had been there for over a decade

Please elaborate.... Have you held hands with that many girls? Have you caught eyes in the hallway with that many girls? I sure as hell know you haven't dated that many girls, much less have been in a relationship with them. Don't give me that "you don't even know me anymore" crap, either. I know unless you think a relationship can totally take place in a high school, you haven't been in 1.

Originally Posted by Chico Diablo

I have never said anything about being a relations expert and do not pose as one...

YES YOU HAVE!!! "This is a fact", "that's a fact", 79.8% it'll fail, while 43.84% of the stats I type are made up... You TOTALLY come off like you think you're Dr. Phil.

Originally Posted by Chico Diablo

..which I may have had a bit of an advantage to depending on how you look at what's happened, but I'm not gonna get into that. Different story, different day...

Elaborate please. Or do I have to wait until tomorrow?