I can't be what I'm not. - Page 17

01-18-2003, 11:05 PM

Some people are jocks. Some people are preps. Some people are sluts. Some people are popular. Some people are all of the above, or a combination of one or more.

Some people are nerds.

I am a nerd.

Nerds don't go to parties. Those other people do.

I'm not those other people. I don't do what they do.

After covering my basketball games (which put the evening at 7pm) I went to the library and got on the computer until it closed at 8. Then I went to a mexican restaurant and ate dinner. It was then 9 pm. I was led to believe the party was starting at 9:30 or 10 pm. I drove over to her house and parked in a nearby lot. I waited. I felt sick. I went to the university center, and looked in the mirror. I looked like a nerd. I went back to the parking lot, ended up circling the house five times and parking again each time.

The last attempt I actually got out of the car. Guys I was so scared my entire body was screaming for me to get back in the car where it was safe. I got in there and left, and tried not to turn my head to look at that apartment building and the people outside it as I passed it.

Two songs played in the car as I began that trip home. Joe Walsh's "Life's been good to me" and AC/DC's "Hell's Bell's." Those are two of my favorite songs, and they are never played on the radio.

Those were my mp3s, calling me home.

I had a good cry on the way home, but I'm here now, where I belong. With you guys, my geforce 4 and no one else.

To thine own self be true.

**RNR** · 01-19-2003, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lattimer
This is pathetic.

You must be one of them popular jock types

patteeu · 01-19-2003, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AustinChief
...

If he is willing to take me up on it.. I will introduce him to TONS of slutty girls in DFW that can help him out... OR if he isn't ready for that... I can at least take him out ON THE TOWN and he can watch me act like a complete idiot... and see how easy it is to play the fool and not CARE...
...

--Kyle

Can you introduce me to TONS of slutty girls in DFW? .... uh... my wife is reading over my shoulder and she says that's not a great idea, so forget I asked.

JimNasium · 01-19-2003, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fat Elvis

If you are trying to escape the specter of bad hairdos, just be glad you weren't in high school or college during the 80's.

I had an ode to rockabilly, but I also had friends who paid tribute to A Flock of Seagulls.

The horror...the horror.....

Amen to that!

patteeu · 01-19-2003, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by stumppy
I think he already knows what a lot of his problem is, and he scratched the surface in post #60 on this thread.
He said something to the effect of " One thing that has contributed to him being fucked is that he used to be a Jehova Witness".
I'll apologize in advance if I offend any fellow planeteers with what I'm going to say.
What this means is that he has been taught, well, taught is putting it lightly,more like programed that he should not associate socially with anyone who is not a J.W. And, if at some time he did anything that went against the J.W.'s beliefs he would have been disassociated (correct term?) by all of the J.W.'s. Including his own family. Basically a person could be socially ostracized for what GC was trying to get the courage up to do tonight.
If GC was raised as a J.W. he's probably had few, if any, oppurtunities to be around regular Joes that party, drink, and chase tang on a regular basis. That could certainly make the idea of going to a party and picking up on some chick seem like a scary proposition. He'd be going into uncharted waters. And, on at least a subconscious level, feeling that it is just wrong to do that sort of thing would not make it any easier.
All the advice in the world about how to hit on the girl, how to act , what to do and what not to do isn't going to help. It boils down to his fear of the unknown. He's just gonna have to decide to do it.

...

I was a lot like GoChiefs when I was younger. I wasn't quite the uber-nerd that he is, but I suffered from paralysing fear when confronted with the prospect of talking to girls that I found attractive. I can only imagine what being a former JW on top of that shyness will do for you. I found out later that even some of my closest friends thought I was either gay or asexual. But, in reality, I was probably one of the horniest, hetero chicken-$#its around.

GoChiefs, you've gotten a lot of good advice during the past 24 hours. I hope you can take a chance because it really isn't as scary as you think it is (I eventually learned that lesson). Just don't go into it expecting to get laid. Start slowly by getting to know people on a friendly, non-sexual level. After you're more comfortable socializing, then you can worry about moving on to romance.

Get in touch with Drunkinpublic the next time you have a party to go to. Its always a lot easier to be at a party when you have someone who you know will talk to you. It gets pretty awkward standing around at a party by yourself because you don't know how to enter into a smalltalk conversation.

BUT DON'T WASTE YOUR OPPORTUNITIES TO SOCIALIZE DURING YOUR COLLEGE YEARS. IT WILL BE MUCH MORE DIFFICULT TO LEARN HOW AFTER YOU LEAVE COLLEGE.

Brock · 01-19-2003, 12:11 PM

I was hoping this wasn't the case, but you are in need of therapy.

LegitimusGrim · 01-19-2003, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by gochiefs
It's just very hard for me guys....I spend so many nights alone that it seems like that's the only way to do things.

There are plenty of single available women at Sci-Fi conventions. Wait til April and I'll take you over to the Star Trek convention at the Doubletree in KC.

duncan_idaho · 01-19-2003, 12:30 PM

gochiefs,

I'm sure you've heard this advice in some form over the course of the thread... but here it is.

I too used to be the way you are... thankfully, I was able to stand up, find some courage, and break out of my shell by the time I was a senior in high school... I've never made a better decision than the first time I took a chance and went to a party, even though I knew I would be uncomfortable there... life has been a lot better, and a lot more fun, since then.

Trust me, not everyone at parties like the one you passed up are as cool as they act or appear to be... inside, a lot of them are probably as nervous as you are... they just force themselves to ignore it. You can do it too... you just have to believe in yourself, and remember that life is too short to worry about whether people think you're a nerd.

Now, don't take the next part the wrong way, ok?

We had a heated discussion on the values/dangers of homeschooling a while back... if I remember correctly, your main argument there was that homeschooling was bad because they didn't get the social interaction needed to be useful members of society...

Think about that, you're doing the same thing you accused homeschoolers of... I'm not trying to rub anything in, I just thought that might help you find some motivation...

If I can have a healthy social life (that includes girls, parties, and alcohol) even though I was a lowly homeschooler, you can too!

**Rausch** · 01-19-2003, 01:07 PM

Well, feeling sorry for yourself gets you nowhere.

This "I CAN'T" line of bullshit is for people who WANT to spend a weekend alone. If you don't WANT to be that guy then DON'T BE HIM!

Yes, it is that easy. EVERYONE changes. EVERYONE. You can't help it. You aren't who you are when you were 8. You won't be the same guy in 5 more years. Whoever you become is completely up to you.

And don't say "I'M not you man." No, you're not. I got tired of being you, and changed. If you don't like you don't be this you anymore.

If you saw pictures of me in 7th grade, then pictures of me as a freshman, then pics of me as a senior, then pics of me now you wouldn't even BELIEVE they were all four me. You'd be amazed.

HC_Chief · 01-19-2003, 01:10 PM

Get some Paxil already.

Seriously - it will help. Sounds like you have social anxiety disorder (SAD). A lot of people have it... including my wife. Paxil helps tremendously.

Talk to your doctor.

tk13 · 01-19-2003, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Brock Landers
I was hoping this wasn't the case, but you are in need of therapy.

I'll second that.

01-19-2003, 01:30 PM

Man I really, really appreciate all of this guys, you have no idea. I think I am definitely going to go to that Super Bowl party. No.

I am going to that Super Bowl party.

It's like Yoda said. Do. Or do not. There is no try.

BTW Duncan, your nerd roots are apparent in your handle.

**Rausch** · 01-19-2003, 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by gochiefs

BTW Duncan, your nerd roots are apparent in your handle.

Fanboys get no love.....

LegitimusGrim · 01-19-2003, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BRAD_CAUDLE
If you saw pictures of me in 7th grade, then pictures of me as a freshman, then pics of me as a senior, then pics of me now you wouldn't even BELIEVE they were all four me. You'd be amazed.

Now he's 8 feet tall, green with an underbite.

01-19-2003, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BRAD_CAUDLE

Fanboys get no love.....

I need to read the Dune series again.

Guys I'm GOING to this party. There is no doubt in my mind. The guy only has a 20" TV so I'm going to bring mine.

patteeu · 01-19-2003, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BRAD_CAUDLE
...
If you saw pictures of me in 7th grade, then pictures of me as a freshman, then pics of me as a senior, then pics of me now you wouldn't even BELIEVE they were all four me. You'd be amazed.

Post some pics man. Let's see the development of BRAD_CAUDLE in living color!!

01-19-2003, 12:11 PM	#245
Brock Say hello to my little friend Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Larryville Casino cash: $9598422	I was hoping this wasn't the case, but you are in need of therapy.
Posts: 47,314

01-19-2003, 12:30 PM	#247
duncan_idaho M-I-Z-Z-O-U Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Kansas City Casino cash: $-259692	gochiefs, I'm sure you've heard this advice in some form over the course of the thread... but here it is. I too used to be the way you are... thankfully, I was able to stand up, find some courage, and break out of my shell by the time I was a senior in high school... I've never made a better decision than the first time I took a chance and went to a party, even though I knew I would be uncomfortable there... life has been a lot better, and a lot more fun, since then. Trust me, not everyone at parties like the one you passed up are as cool as they act or appear to be... inside, a lot of them are probably as nervous as you are... they just force themselves to ignore it. You can do it too... you just have to believe in yourself, and remember that life is too short to worry about whether people think you're a nerd. Now, don't take the next part the wrong way, ok? We had a heated discussion on the values/dangers of homeschooling a while back... if I remember correctly, your main argument there was that homeschooling was bad because they didn't get the social interaction needed to be useful members of society... Think about that, you're doing the same thing you accused homeschoolers of... I'm not trying to rub anything in, I just thought that might help you find some motivation... If I can have a healthy social life (that includes girls, parties, and alcohol) even though I was a lowly homeschooler, you can too! __________________ "You gotta love livin', cause dying is a pain in the ass." ---- Sinatra
Posts: 21,525

01-19-2003, 01:10 PM	#249
HC_Chief That's just f***in' stupid Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: suburbia Casino cash: $3687107	Get some Paxil already. Seriously - it will help. Sounds like you have social anxiety disorder (SAD). A lot of people have it... including my wife. Paxil helps tremendously. Talk to your doctor. __________________ "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, this is the war room!"
Posts: 12,355

01-19-2003, 01:30 PM	#251
MeatPeeker Guest Casino cash: $	Man I really, really appreciate all of this guys, you have no idea. I think I am definitely going to go to that Super Bowl party. No. I am going to that Super Bowl party. It's like Yoda said. Do. Or do not. There is no try. BTW Duncan, your nerd roots are apparent in your handle.
Posts: n/a