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Old 05-19-2014, 11:46 AM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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I'm on a mission to shit

Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
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Old 05-19-2014, 07:26 PM   #226
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I'm the boy who cried shite
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:03 PM   #227
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I had the ol colonoscopy procedure done last year. Maybe you could get your doc to prescribe you some of the stuff they use for the prep. I swear I shit out stuff from the 70's after downing that.
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:13 PM   #228
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Speaking of shit, my stool's been green for about the past 5 days or so. I haven't changed my diet so I'm kind of curious as to what it could be..

Of course WebMD churned up some pretty scary results. I hate that website.
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:14 PM   #229
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Originally Posted by ThaVirus View Post
Speaking of shit, my stool's been green for about the past 5 days or so. I haven't changed my diet so I'm kind of curious as to what it could be..

Of course WebMD churned up some pretty scary results. I hate that website.
Grape soda?
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:22 PM   #230
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThaVirus View Post
Speaking of shit, my stool's been green for about the past 5 days or so. I haven't changed my diet so I'm kind of curious as to what it could be..

Of course WebMD churned up some pretty scary results. I hate that website.
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:23 PM   #231
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThaVirus View Post
Speaking of shit, my stool's been green for about the past 5 days or so. I haven't changed my diet so I'm kind of curious as to what it could be..

Of course WebMD churned up some pretty scary results. I hate that website.
Green? Layoff off the late night anti-freeze shooters.....
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:23 PM   #232
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThaVirus View Post
Speaking of shit, my stool's been green for about the past 5 days or so.
Spinach FTW!
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:24 PM   #233
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All I ask is that he post weight before and after the deposit. It's a great past time I have with my bro at thanksgiving. We weigh in before we eat, after we eat, and after we shit.

Men. We are awesome.
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:37 PM   #234
ThaVirus ThaVirus is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
Spinach FTW!

Nope, my diet is far from high in leafy greens.

Google says I either have Crohn's or my shit is just passing through my intestines too quickly.
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Old 05-19-2014, 08:47 PM   #235
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Nope, my diet is far from high in leafy greens.

Google says I either have Crohn's or my shit is just passing through my intestines too quickly.
I don't remember my wife who has Crohn's for over 20 years she has never said anything about it being green.
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Old 05-19-2014, 09:27 PM   #236
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Has Clay shit yet?


Nope.
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Old 05-19-2014, 09:49 PM   #237
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Old 05-19-2014, 10:08 PM   #238
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-19-2014, 10:10 PM   #239
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Not gonna look. What's the weight differential?
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Old 05-19-2014, 10:11 PM   #240
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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Not gonna look. What's the weight differential?
I don't have a scale, sorry.

I sure feel better though. Gonna go eat dinner!

PS - I had to chop it up to make sure it flushed.
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