Marriage Question

[royr17]

Ok lets start here.

I need some help with some things i need to know on gettin married, the do's, the dont's, the things you need to know about that.

I see you guys here some are married some arent so the ones that know stuff i need to know let me know about it.

So what are the things i should know about it, cause i dont wanna wait my whole life to get married, i actually wanna be married before i turn 26 which is 6 years from now.

But I wanna get started early in startin a family, so what are the do's and dont's in marriage ???

[unlurking]

Originally Posted by badgirl

I don't know when they go bad its not worth any amount of money to stay and suffer the rest of your life over, you only live once don't waste it cause of money.

Going bad is one thing, and I don't expect anyone to be able to "fix" the other person or a relationship on their own. It's a two way street. But to expect a relationship to be perfect will end one quicker than anything else.

[Slayer Diablo]

Originally Posted by unlurking

Oh, forgot to mention that my "piss-poor relationship that's based on infatuation and lust" just ended up in me spending almost 7k on a new wedding ring for my wife because I just lust after her and have no love for her.

I'll guarantee you this, my relationship will last longer than ALL of yours combined.

Please go back to "Reading and Comprehension"...it would take a lot fewer posts from both of us.

Anyway, love is not material, it is not conditional, and it doesn't take a ceremony with an official state license to make it exist. Also, I wasn't saying that you don't love your wife...you can call love whatever you want for whatever reasons you want. And about that last line, I'm going to point out my first post on this topic: "time does not matter. It is a misconception that infatuation is short-lived. An infatuation can last 5 seconds or 5 centuries."

[unlurking]

Originally Posted by J Diddy

I agree and disagree. My first wife I was married 3 months. Too young, didn't understand the committment I was making, nor did she.

A couple of years later, I got married again. We just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary. It's going great.

Congratulations!

But here's a warning from chico, don't go in the girly thread cuz if you get a chub it means you don't really love her.

[badgirl]

Originally Posted by unlurking

Going bad is one thing, and I don't expect anyone to be able to "fix" the other person or a relationship on their own. It's a two way street. But to expect a relationship to be perfect will end one quicker than anything else.

Yep I agree again there are no perfect relationships, If your trying to make it a perfect one there will be a lot of lying and deceit going on and no conversation about shit that really does bother you.

Does this make any sense

[Slayer Diablo]

Originally Posted by tk13

I'm not reading all this drivel. Has this thread devolved into a 17 year old who is the youngest active member of the board explaining to everyone the inner workings of relationships?

For clarification: No, I was merely stating a definition that I stated was always found to be "too extreme" by people. So unlurking is now trying to attack my definition of love...and it's not really getting anywhere because he refuses to remember what he's already read.

[unlurking]

Man, this is comedy gold!!!!



I can be infatuated with my wife my entire life, but not be in love with her?!?!

YOU ARE THE ONE THAT SAID MARRIAGES FAIL BASED ON INFATUATION AND NOT LOVE.

YOU ARE THE ONE THAT SAID LOVE MEANS NEVER BEING PHYSICALLY OR EMOTIONALLY AROUSED BY ANOTHER.

Don't talk shit about MY comprehension because you have no clue about the topic.

[unlurking]

Originally Posted by badgirl

Yep I agree again there are no perfect relationships, If your trying to make it a perfect one there will be a lot of lying and deceit going on and no conversation about shit that really does bother you.

Does this make any sense

Makes a lot of sense to me.

Partners willing to work at a relationship to make each other happy is the true glue in my opinion.

[Slayer Diablo]

Originally Posted by J Diddy

I agree and disagree. My first wife I was married 3 months. Too young, didn't understand the committment I was making, nor did she.

A couple of years later, I got married again. We just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary. It's going great.

I'm sorry, but you proved my point for me. Seriously, although it's less than one percent, there are those in their mid-teens that understand the committment just as there are those in their 50's and even 60's or 70's that still don't understand it (or probably just don't care about it).

[unlurking]

Originally Posted by Chico Diablo

For clarification: No, I was merely stating a definition that I stated was always found to be "too extreme" by people. So unlurking is now trying to attack my definition of love...and it's not really getting anywhere because he refuses to remember what he's already read.

Hmm, guess I didn't read your "first law of love" did I?

"1) you're not attracted to anyone but the person you're in love with--that covers both mentally and physically."

SO ARE YOU OR ARE YOU NOT SAYING THAT I DO NOT LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE I APPRECIATE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN'S BODY THAT IS NOT MY WIFE?!?!?!

Moron, the problem isn't that I didn't read your posts, it's that I did and took the time to point out your stupidity!!!

Oh, BTW, any married guys wanna find out if you really love your wife? Turn on TMC, Private Sex Club is on and it doesn't look bad for soft core!

[unlurking]

Originally Posted by dr ruth diablo

I'm sorry, but you proved my point for me. Seriously, although it's less than one percent, there are those in their mid-teens that understand the committment just as there are those in their 50's and even 60's or 70's that still don't understand it (or probably just don't care about it).

What the fuck IS your point beyond some mindless drivel about "idealized" love that you self-righteously proclaim is what relationships are all about?

Apparently you gleamed all of this knowledge from 8 failed attempts, huh?

EDIT:
Oh wait, now I get it. You are the 1% in their midteens that gets it but has yet to have a successfull relationship. I obviously don't get it even though I've been married longer than you've been having wet dreams.

[Slayer Diablo]

Originally Posted by unlurking

Man, this is comedy gold!!!!



I can be infatuated with my wife my entire life, but not be in love with her?!?!

YOU ARE THE ONE THAT SAID MARRIAGES FAIL BASED ON INFATUATION AND NOT LOVE.

YOU ARE THE ONE THAT SAID LOVE MEANS NEVER BEING PHYSICALLY OR EMOTIONALLY AROUSED BY ANOTHER.

Don't talk shit about MY comprehension because you have no clue about the topic.

Yes, all marriages that fail are based on infatuation, but not all marriages based on infatuation fail. Do I have to draw a picture for you? And the part about not being aroused by another means that you are physically/emotionally aroused by the one you love and ONLY that person...but that's part of my definition, which I've already stated many people think is "too extreme"; I'm not trying to change your mind about anything, remember that. Now, as for your actual question: Yes, a person can be infatuated with their spouse for their entire life. An infatuation is defined as a "foolish relationship" and it does not have any specified limit...when certain factors are put in, an infatuation can keep burning for centuries, and that normally means: until one person dies.

[unlurking]

I'd like to apologize for all the poor people who have had to read this thread.

My son is at that whiny pre-teen stage and it is all I can do sometimes to not want to smack some sense into him. I should know better than to argue with immortal and smarter than me teenagers.

This has turned into a pissing match between myself (who really should know better) and a child.

Anyways, back to the point of the thread...

Roy, take all the advice you can get from your elders (like waiting), but most of all you need to realize that any relationship you have in life will take work and dedication from both parties.

[Slayer Diablo]

Originally Posted by unlurking

Hmm, guess I didn't read your "first law of love" did I?

"1) you're not attracted to anyone but the person you're in love with--that covers both mentally and physically."

SO ARE YOU OR ARE YOU NOT SAYING THAT I DO NOT LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE I APPRECIATE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN'S BODY THAT IS NOT MY WIFE?!?!?!

Moron, the problem isn't that I didn't read your posts, it's that I did and took the time to point out your stupidity!!!

Oh, BTW, any married guys wanna find out if you really love your wife? Turn on TMC, Private Sex Club is on and it doesn't look bad for soft core!

That's my definition based on facts and experience. You have your own experience going for you, so you have your own definition to work with.

BTW, FWIW, I find this defensiveness rather interesting...

[unlurking]

Originally Posted by Chico Diablo

Yes, all marriages that fail are based on infatuation, but not all marriages based on infatuation fail. Do I have to draw a picture for you? And the part about not being aroused by another means that you are physically/emotionally aroused by the one you love and ONLY that person...but that's part of my definition, which I've already stated many people think is "too extreme"; I'm not trying to change your mind about anything, remember that. Now, as for your actual question: Yes, a person can be infatuated with their spouse for their entire life. An infatuation is defined as a "foolish relationship" and it does not have any specified limit...when certain factors are put in, an infatuation can keep burning for centuries, and that normally means: until one person dies.

Do you even see how reeruned you are sounding?!

By YOUR definition, I do not love my wife and am in a "foolish relationship".

Get back to me in a decade with your successful relationship and then we'll talk.

[tk13]

Originally Posted by Chico Diablo

Oh, if we're going to stick to talking about the specified relationship, then I'll tell you right now that there's a 78% chance that they won't even be going out once the two years is up...granted that they actually get together very often; otherwise, that would be reduced to a 49% chance, and even then I'm being optimistic for III's sake. I was just saying that conditions before marriage don't normally mean anything and that people should start their marriage at rock bottom more often.

Okay, I was bored so I read a couple posts... 78%? 49%? WTF is this? Where in the hell are we getting random percentages from? Rain Man should have your genitals cut off for blantant abuse of statistics.