Oral Sex Frequency - Page 13

KC native · 12-19-2014, 11:09 AM

So I've seen many of you guys bitch about not getting blow jobs frequently.

How often do you get them? Or in katipan's/luv's/billay's case, how often do you give them?

Oral is part of foreplay for my wife and I so I get head just about every time before we ****. U jelly?

Kman34 · 12-19-2014, 04:05 PM

The wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night. I told her I was looking for cheap flights. "I love you!" she said, then she got all excited, un-zipped my trousers and gave me the most amazing blow job ever......

Which is odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before!

booger · 12-19-2014, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katipan

I wish we were doing secret santa.

http://www.amazon.com/Glow-N-Dark-Pu.../dp/B001D26Q16

bookmarked

**ChiTown** · 12-19-2014, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donger

That's actually her name for her vagina.

Seriously? That's awesome......

**Easy 6** · 12-19-2014, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dayze

it probably smells like motorcycles and freedom down there.

**Fire Me Boy!** · 12-19-2014, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donger

That's actually her name for her vagina.

Why? Does it look like Ben Jones?

**ChiTown** · 12-19-2014, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dayze

it probably smells like motorcycles and freedom down there.

so I'm not really sure what the problem is. Probably going to spritz a little Stetson or Aqua Velva down there to sweeten the deal.

Go with Hai Karate - especially if you are rocking a 70's pube 'fro

Dayze · 12-19-2014, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiTown

Go with Hai Karate - especially if you are rocking a 70's pube 'fro

Pablo · 12-19-2014, 04:09 PM

My wife tells me she'd blow me more if I'd stop ripping the most heinous farts known to man around her 24/7. I just get too much joy out of decimating the air any chance I get.

These things sound like a cross between deer bleats and thunder and smell like raw sewage. Can't saw that I blame her, but I'm not going to cut out the farting. It's one of my favorite things in the world to take a lovely, serene week-night living room and turn it into some sort of dumpster/swamp/roadkill center.

Kman34 · 12-19-2014, 04:09 PM

I went to the doctor's the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female, drop-dead gorgeous!

I was embarrassed but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can."

I said, "I think my cock tastes funny..

booger · 12-19-2014, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiTown

Go with Hai Karate - especially if you are rocking a 70's pube 'fro

Jew Bush

Dayze · 12-19-2014, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kman34

I went to the doctor's the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female, drop-dead gorgeous!

I was embarrassed but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can."

I said, "I think my cock tastes funny..

Kman34 · 12-19-2014, 04:10 PM

What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

**Easy 6** · 12-19-2014, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pablo

My wife tells me she'd blow me more if I'd stop ripping the most heinous farts known to man around her 24/7. I just get too much joy out of decimating the air any chance I get.

These things sound like a cross between deer bleats and thunder and smell like raw sewage. Can't saw that I blame her, but I'm not going to cut out the farting. It's one of my favorite things in the world to take a lovely, serene week-night living room and turn it into some sort of dumpster/swamp/roadkill center.

No sympathy AT ALL lol, you dont deserve head with your antics.

Any girl I ever dated would find herself without the services of my tongue if she thrilled to the smell and sound of the farts she ripped in front of me.

booger · 12-19-2014, 04:24 PM

Reminds me of drinking underage at this dive bar back in '99 or so. Closing time I played kiss me where it smells funny on the jukebox and that old tart took me home and really tought me how to properly glaze a ham

**ChiTown** · 12-19-2014, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by booger

Reminds me of drinking underage at this dive bar back in '99 or so. Closing time I played kiss me where it smells funny on the jukebox and that old tart took me home and really taught me how to properly glaze a ham

View Poll Results: Do you get head on a regular basis?
Everytime my wife/gf/random person engage in coitus, I receive oral pleasure.	72	59.50%
My wife/gf/random person is allergic to skin in the genital region so I never receive oral pleasure.	3	2.48%
I only receive oral pleasure on special occasions.	28	23.14%
I only receive oral pleasure when I pay a hooker aka the billay option	4	3.31%
I am Clay and never get laid so this pole is irrelevant.	14	11.57%
Voters: 121. You may not vote on this poll

12-19-2014, 11:09 AM
KC native Banned Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Fort Worth, TX Casino cash: $10049239	Oral Sex Frequency So I've seen many of you guys bitch about not getting blow jobs frequently. How often do you get them? Or in katipan's/luv's/billay's case, how often do you give them? Oral is part of foreplay for my wife and I so I get head just about every time before we ****. U jelly?
Posts: 24,946

12-19-2014, 04:05 PM	#181
Kman34 My Mamma Says Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Glass Cage Of Emotion Casino cash: $61786 VARSITY	The wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night. I told her I was looking for cheap flights. "I love you!" she said, then she got all excited, un-zipped my trousers and gave me the most amazing blow job ever...... Which is odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before!
Posts: 14,457

12-19-2014, 04:09 PM	#188
Pablo Ultrabanned Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Northland Casino cash: $109356	My wife tells me she'd blow me more if I'd stop ripping the most heinous farts known to man around her 24/7. I just get too much joy out of decimating the air any chance I get. These things sound like a cross between deer bleats and thunder and smell like raw sewage. Can't saw that I blame her, but I'm not going to cut out the farting. It's one of my favorite things in the world to take a lovely, serene week-night living room and turn it into some sort of dumpster/swamp/roadkill center.
Posts: 42,772

12-19-2014, 04:09 PM	#189
Kman34 My Mamma Says Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Glass Cage Of Emotion Casino cash: $61786 VARSITY	I went to the doctor's the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female, drop-dead gorgeous! I was embarrassed but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can." I said, "I think my cock tastes funny..
Posts: 14,457	1 0

12-19-2014, 04:10 PM	#192
Kman34 My Mamma Says Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Glass Cage Of Emotion Casino cash: $61786 VARSITY	What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Posts: 14,457

12-19-2014, 04:24 PM	#194
booger Don't Tug on Superman's Cape Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: clear out in the sticks Casino cash: $-401450	Reminds me of drinking underage at this dive bar back in '99 or so. Closing time I played kiss me where it smells funny on the jukebox and that old tart took me home and really tought me how to properly glaze a ham __________________ 2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
Posts: 12,690