Home Discord Chat
Go Back   ChiefsPlanet > Hall of Classics
Reload this Page I'm on a mission to shit
Register FAQDonate Members List Calendar

Reply
Page 1 of 25 1 234511 Last »
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-19-2014, 11:46 AM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
I'll be back.
 
Hammock Parties's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Casino cash: $2670478
I'm on a mission to shit
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
Posts: 289,247
Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 11:50 AM   #2
Why Not? Why Not? is online now
In Search of a Life
 
Why Not?'s Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas
Casino cash: $1118994
Sounds crappy
Posts: 22,902
Why Not? is obviously part of the inner Circle.Why Not? is obviously part of the inner Circle.Why Not? is obviously part of the inner Circle.Why Not? is obviously part of the inner Circle.Why Not? is obviously part of the inner Circle.Why Not? is obviously part of the inner Circle.Why Not? is obviously part of the inner Circle.Why Not? is obviously part of the inner Circle.Why Not? is obviously part of the inner Circle.Why Not? is obviously part of the inner Circle.Why Not? is obviously part of the inner Circle.
 Thumbs Up 1 Thumbs Down 0     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 11:50 AM   #3
BlackHelicopters BlackHelicopters is offline
Spiraling down the Drain
 
BlackHelicopters's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dante's Ninth Circle
Casino cash: $960588
Prayers sent.
__________________
"We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family."


"Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever."
2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87
Posts: 32,657
BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 11:51 AM   #4
tooge tooge is offline
MVP
 
tooge's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Liberty, MO
Casino cash: $2094112
may the shartz be with you
Posts: 16,541
tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 11:51 AM   #5
booger booger is offline
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape
 
booger's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: clear out in the sticks
Casino cash: $-531450
Gonna have to try a plunger
__________________
2 Chronicles 7:14
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
Posts: 12,719
booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 11:51 AM   #6
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
Seize life. Be an ermine.
 
Rain Man's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: My house
Casino cash: $1278491
VARSITY
You should check to be sure that they didn't accidentally sew your rectum shut.
__________________
Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 143,312
Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 11:51 AM   #7
Dartgod Dartgod is online now
Wasted away again...
 
Dartgod's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: in Margaritaville
Casino cash: $5430000
Everyone knows you're full of shit.
__________________
If you shed a tear for me, please make it a tear of joy.
-Joe Tracy (Nzoner)
.
.
<a href=http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=275537 target=_blank><img src=http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/signaturepics/sigpic126_7.gif border=0 alt= /></a>
Posts: 51,791
Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 11:52 AM   #8
htismaqe htismaqe is online now
'Tis my eye!
 
htismaqe's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chiefsplanet
Casino cash: $9669900
First of all, stop eating all that fiber. By ingesting fiber, you're actually forming bulk. Metamucil is actually making the problem worse, especially if you don't ingest that kind of fiber daily. It won't help you go, it will just fill you up.

I wouldn't recommend Senokot or any stimulant laxative as it's going to give you pain and cramping.

You're on the right track with Milk of Magnesia but

1) two tablespoons is not enough and
2) you don't need an antacid

Grab a bottle of this and drink the WHOLE thing. It is available everywhere that has a 3-aisle basic pharmacy and costs about $1. Wait 30 minutes to an hour. Don't get too far from the bathroom. It's safe and I guarantee you it will work.
Posts: 100,364
htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.
 Thumbs Up 1 Thumbs Down 0     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 11:52 AM   #9
Reerun_KC Reerun_KC is offline
Banned
 

Join Date: Aug 2005
Casino cash: $7231160
Ask your boyfriend for help. Seriously surprised this would be an issue for you.
Posts: 1,529
Reerun_KC is obviously part of the inner Circle.Reerun_KC is obviously part of the inner Circle.Reerun_KC is obviously part of the inner Circle.Reerun_KC is obviously part of the inner Circle.Reerun_KC is obviously part of the inner Circle.Reerun_KC is obviously part of the inner Circle.Reerun_KC is obviously part of the inner Circle.Reerun_KC is obviously part of the inner Circle.Reerun_KC is obviously part of the inner Circle.Reerun_KC is obviously part of the inner Circle.Reerun_KC is obviously part of the inner Circle.
 Thumbs Up 1 Thumbs Down 0     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 11:53 AM   #10
BryanBusby BryanBusby is offline
In Search of a Life
 
BryanBusby's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2006
Casino cash: $3589900
VARSITY
Taco Bell

It has me shitting in no time.
Posts: 22,305
BryanBusby has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.BryanBusby has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.BryanBusby has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.BryanBusby has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.BryanBusby has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.BryanBusby has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.BryanBusby has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.BryanBusby has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.BryanBusby has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.BryanBusby has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.BryanBusby has enough rep power to blowy ou to bits.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 11:55 AM   #11
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
I'll be back.
 
Hammock Parties's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Casino cash: $2670478
Quote:
Originally Posted by htismaqe View Post
Grab a bottle of this and drink the WHOLE thing. It is available everywhere that has a 3-aisle basic pharmacy and costs about $1. Wait 30 minutes to an hour. Don't get too far from the bathroom. It's safe and I guarantee you it will work.
PREPARE FOR BATTLE
Posts: 289,247
Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 11:56 AM   #12
RippedmyFlesh RippedmyFlesh is offline
Veteran
 
RippedmyFlesh's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
Casino cash: $10005817
Horrible feeling been there. Believe it or not an ER Dr recommended blueberry muffin from local chain. They were huge but did the job and tasted great. Do you drink coffee? Coffee and muffin is a sound play without bad side affects. For some reason Dr's are always less worried about this than patients.
Last edited by RippedmyFlesh; 05-19-2014 at 12:00 PM.. Reason: extra word
Posts: 4,848
RippedmyFlesh wants to die in a aids tree fire.RippedmyFlesh wants to die in a aids tree fire.RippedmyFlesh wants to die in a aids tree fire.RippedmyFlesh wants to die in a aids tree fire.RippedmyFlesh wants to die in a aids tree fire.RippedmyFlesh wants to die in a aids tree fire.RippedmyFlesh wants to die in a aids tree fire.RippedmyFlesh wants to die in a aids tree fire.RippedmyFlesh wants to die in a aids tree fire.RippedmyFlesh wants to die in a aids tree fire.RippedmyFlesh wants to die in a aids tree fire.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 11:56 AM   #13
Dante84 Dante84 is online now
Tossed Salad & Scrambled Eggs
 
Dante84's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: ATX & OPKS
Casino cash: $-208004
VARSITY
I wonder if your system will back up, and you'll shit out your mouth?
__________________
..
Posts: 20,106
Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 11:57 AM   #14
booger booger is offline
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape
 
booger's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: clear out in the sticks
Casino cash: $-531450
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
You should check to be sure that they didn't accidentally sew your rectum shut.
He's gonna need a c section. It's gotta be breach by now
__________________
2 Chronicles 7:14
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
Posts: 12,719
booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.booger has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
     Reply With Quote
Old 05-19-2014, 11:58 AM   #15
Dante84 Dante84 is online now
Tossed Salad & Scrambled Eggs
 
Dante84's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: ATX & OPKS
Casino cash: $-208004
VARSITY
Quote:
Originally Posted by htismaqe View Post
First of all, stop eating all that fiber. By ingesting fiber, you're actually forming bulk. Metamucil is actually making the problem worse, especially if you don't ingest that kind of fiber daily. It won't help you go, it will just fill you up.

I wouldn't recommend Senokot or any stimulant laxative as it's going to give you pain and cramping.

You're on the right track with Milk of Magnesia but

1) two tablespoons is not enough and
2) you don't need an antacid

Grab a bottle of this and drink the WHOLE thing. It is available everywhere that has a 3-aisle basic pharmacy and costs about $1. Wait 30 minutes to an hour. Don't get too far from the bathroom. It's safe and I guarantee you it will work.
That's not going to get him into a Boardwalk Empire situation, is it?

You know, the scene where the kid spikes the other kids drink with this stuff, then the kid shits blood and dies?
__________________
..
Posts: 20,106
Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dante84 is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 1 of 25 1 234511 Last »

« Previous Thread | > Hall of Classics < | Next Thread »

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump




All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:56 PM.

Contact Us - ChiefsPlanet - Archive - Top

This is a test for a client's site.
Fort Worth Texas Process Servers
Covering Arlington, Fort Worth, Grand Prairie and surrounding communities.
Tarrant County, Texas and Johnson County, Texas.
Advertise with us!
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.