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Old 12-24-2014, 03:36 PM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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Gay Day With Clay VI: Return of the Fed-I
Puke Claywalker has returned to his home planet of Postooine in an attempt to rescue his friend Han Trollo from the clutches of the vile gangster Clarka the Hunt.

Little does Puke know that the CHECKDOWN EMPIRE has secretly begun construction on a new armored ennui station even less powerful than the first dreaded Dink Star.

When completed, this ultimate weapon will spell certain doom for the small band of rebels struggling to restore touchdowns to the franchise...

So let's do this shit.

I wake up in the morning and spend some time with my girlfriend. She's always there for me. I'm actually getting work done here. Yes, i get to watch Jay Cutler getting sacked for work. It's a swell gig.



Let's get ready for our gay day. It's a bit chilly so I decide to wear corduroys. I got them on sale from Jos. A Bank!



Here's our first stop! Look at all those ****ing TVs. I already have a TV but just walking into Sam's Club and seeing them all gives me wood.



What should we ****ing buy at Sam's Club? All the necessities...hummus, celery, apples, mother****ing tuna because this growing boy needs his protein...also I'm 33 in seven days and don't want to lose my hair. **** you. I'm heading this shit off at the pass. Also, I am a cheap bastard and I'm not springing extra for Rogaine.



FUUUUUU*******. This is indeed a Star Wars themed Gay Day. I didn't buy these but just walking past them makes me hop in the air and click my heels together.



OH MAN I WALKED PAST THIS THOUGH AND YOU BET I BOUGHT IT.



**** yes. I am slightly European, so these will go great with my super gay tea breaks. 10 bucks for the whole tin, too. I love Sam's Club. The Force is strong with me, mother****er.



Speaking of Lucasfilm references, look, it's Indiana ****ing Jones! I have a moment of regret, because I'm also wearing a leather jacket, and could have brought my fedora. I could have totally posed with this guy. ****.



I skip the gratuitous slice of Sam's Club pizza and decided it's lunchtime. **** going to these places, though. If you eat at Panera bread you are either fat, a really stupid college girl, or just have terrible taste in restaurants. Actually, all three of those things more than likely.



THIS IS WHERE I'M EATING. **** ALL OF YOU WHO DON'T LIKE IT.



Hey look, pagan symbols and pitch awards. I'm ****ing down. This is also my first time here.



Would you look at all that food that will make me shit the rainbow later. LET'S DO THIS. God this place smells wonderful. It's time to feed myself.



I get my first plate. The service here sucks and they don't even bring me water. I had to get my own utensils. No ****s given. I'd rather not tip a dirty hindu anyway.



My water ****ing arrives after an extra from Temple Doom finally gets done with his human sacrifices, and I begin my second plate. This food is awesome. Kali Ma, shakti de!



KALI MAAAAAAAAA! KALI MAAAAAAAAA! The Daal is a bit runny, but it's all gonna be runny in a few hours so no big deal. I am ****ing stuffed. Note that I didn't get a refill on my water, because ****ing Punjab was too busy ripping some guy's heart out and lowering him into a pit of lava.



We pause for a second to reflect on life. Current attitude: gluttonous. I am a Fed-I, like my father before me. GET IT. I FED MYSELF, SO I AM A FED-I. Oh, **** you.



We're not done ****ing around with indian shit, so let's go next door.



YES. Look at all this shit. **** Price Chopper, Hyvee and Aldi. This place is where it's at.



Also to be ****ed: your American swill cookies. I get my cookies imported. Also, they're called "biscuits." You philistines.



Hit the second post and see how we end this adventure.
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Old 12-24-2014, 09:46 PM   #91
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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I like India Palace on 87th in OP.

Was very disappointed when I ate at Taj Mahal.
Gay Day VII
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Old 12-24-2014, 09:58 PM   #92
GloryDayz GloryDayz is offline
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You posted pics of Indian food, that racist!
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Old 12-25-2014, 08:04 AM   #93
KCUnited KCUnited is online now
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Chai Shai on 59th for the best Pakistani/Indian.
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Old 12-25-2014, 08:15 AM   #94
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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I don't see how you ate two plates of that slop.

I can't eat like that.
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Old 12-25-2014, 08:16 AM   #95
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& there's nothing wrong with Panera - I order a caesar salad with extra chicken - you get a whole hard-boiled egg and an apple. For those trying to eat right - it's a good venue. I understand though if you prefer Indian, to each his own.
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Old 12-25-2014, 08:18 AM   #96
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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You just have a (personal) problem with any place that charges $10 for lunch. i'm not sure why, you've always been that way.
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Old 12-25-2014, 08:28 AM   #97
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SR, I thought you were taking a break from this place. Was it the picture of Clay's poop that reeled you back in?
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Old 12-25-2014, 09:17 AM   #98
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This is bullshit! The "pizza manifesto" link takes me right back to the biscuits and gravy thread. Ok it was so good....I did watch it again. Could you please fix the link. I promised my family we would all sit down and go thru all the episodes as a new christmas family tradition.
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Old 12-25-2014, 09:29 AM   #99
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I've now seen Clay's shit on two separate occasions. Unbelievable.
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Old 12-25-2014, 09:34 AM   #100
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I've now seen Clay's shit on two separate occasions. Unbelievable.
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Old 12-25-2014, 09:52 AM   #101
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SR, I thought you were taking a break from this place. Was it the picture of Clay's poop that reeled you back in?


No honestly - No I'm just bored, I'm not talking football though.

No I'm bored and ready for this holiday to be over - It's depressing every year, the last 3 or 4 years. It's hard to spend a holiday like Christmas, single.

If I didn't have my mom, i'm not sure I'd continue my life. All I have is my company and my cars. I'm not even happy.
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Old 12-25-2014, 09:55 AM   #102
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No honestly - No I'm just bored, I'm not talking football though.

No I'm bored and ready for this holiday to be over - It's depressing every year, the last 3 or 4 years. It's hard to spend a holiday like Christmas, single.

If I didn't have my mom, i'm not sure I'd continue my life. All I have is my company and my cars. I'm not even happy.
Call me, I lost your number when I switched phones.
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Old 12-25-2014, 10:07 AM   #103
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No honestly - No I'm just bored, I'm not talking football though.

No I'm bored and ready for this holiday to be over - It's depressing every year, the last 3 or 4 years. It's hard to spend a holiday like Christmas, single.

If I didn't have my mom, i'm not sure I'd continue my life. All I have is my company and my cars. I'm not even happy.
There's so much beauty in the world that it should be easy to find many things to live for. All the good and beauty gets covered up by the nonstop negativity that is highlighted by the 24 hour news cycle. Get up, get out, and look around you. The world really is a wonderful place if you just take the time to look around.

Of course, I could just be feeling a little sappy because I just watched my son open his gifts from Santa. I'm sure I'll get tired of hearing "Hulk smash" being yelled all around the house, but for right now I can't stop smiling.
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Old 12-25-2014, 10:08 AM   #104
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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Call me, I lost your number when I switched phones.
I'll be fine - I'll definitely give you a call soon. I'm good - just not sure why I can't meet a normal person to date. Always attract complete nut jobs.

Ha, sorry to disrupt the thread - Ty for caring OTWP - but seriously I'm okay - if I weren't - I'd call you right now.

Thanks bro. All is good here. It'll all pass with time.
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Old 12-25-2014, 10:15 AM   #105
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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There's so much beauty in the world that it should be easy to find many things to live for. All the good and beauty gets covered up by the nonstop negativity that is highlighted by the 24 hour news cycle. Get up, get out, and look around you. The world really is a wonderful place if you just take the time to look around.

Of course, I could just be feeling a little sappy because I just watched my son open his gifts from Santa. I'm sure I'll get tired of hearing "Hulk smash" being yelled all around the house, but for right now I can't stop smiling.
You're lucky to have kids and a caring spouse. I feel like I'm lost. All I have is mom and my step dad in Georgia now - I'm going over there for a bit. But I'm going back to talk with Sam soon. He helped the last time. I don't want to hijack this fine thread w/ a bunch of negativity. But I'm down and had to type it out. There's nobody else here right now.
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