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Old 06-22-2007, 07:09 PM  
luv luv is offline
You think you can get by this?
 
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I have a date.
I guess this will be the ****Official TMI Thread****
Last edited by luv; 03-08-2010 at 01:24 AM..
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Old 06-21-2009, 12:27 AM   #6226
sedated sedated is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Claythan View Post
Yeah...I have your #....you delete me from yo phone bitch? I have you, Flopnuts and Simply Red on speed dial for when I finally blow a load in some skank.
you never gave me your number, so I couldn't have deleted it.

the texts seemed so random - "she says she's coming but not here yet lol".

And my g/f was right next to me at dinner, she would have thought it was some chick texting me. I'm glad I could show her this thread and prove it was just some CP guy trying to get laid, and not yet another chick trying to get on these nuts. (ok...so I won't show her this post)
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Why can't more people be like sedated?
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Old 06-21-2009, 12:31 AM   #6227
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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LOL

That almost sounds like I was texting you in the middle of sex.
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Old 06-21-2009, 12:46 AM   #6228
sedated sedated is offline
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LOL

That almost sounds like I was texting you in the middle of sex.
not quite.

but if you text me in the next 2 or so hours, its highly likely, so please don't.


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Why can't more people be like sedated?
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Old 06-21-2009, 12:54 AM   #6229
luv luv is offline
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not quite.

but if you text me in the next 2 or so hours, its highly likely, so please don't.
You might want to get off of here first. Tell her I said "what's up, girl."
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Old 06-21-2009, 01:40 PM   #6230
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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OK, so, to recap the fourth date of my tragic ****ing life:

I arrived 30 minutes early in order to survey the scene, to scout out other possible "jump" locations. As in "let's take this party to the martini bar on the other end of this shitty strip mall."

Anyway, upon arriving it was discovered that the Starbucks we were to meet at did NOT EXIST. It had been replaced by a little pizza joint. So I text her this information. 7 pm rolls around and she calls and is like "I'm gonna be late sorry." And I'm like "Uh this place is a pizza joint. Do you want to get a pie?" And she's like "Sure!"

So she shows up and she's very cute. She is wearing a horizontally striped, low-cut top that shows her nice cleavage. Not as hot as my last date, but definitely bangable. 5-6, 125 pounds, brunette, pretty eyes, nice tits. She smiles, I smile, we both think sexual thoughts.

We order a chicken roma spinach medium and two beers. This is the first time I have had beer since college. I had a Miller mother****in' Lite. It actually wasn't too bad.

We share good conversation. She likes horror films and wants to go see Drag Me To Hell. I inform her it is excellent cinema and file away this note for potential future dates.

She laughs at my stupid jokes and we make lots of eye contact. I lie and say she is hotter than my last date in order to indicate I am sexually attracted to her. 8:30 rolls around and she says, in a very sexy voice, "So, what are you doing the rest of the night?"

My pickup artist brain immediately screams "Say YOU! Say YOU you undersexed stud muffin!" I resist my cro-magnon urge and respond, "Nothing, we could go back to your place and hang out, watch a movie or something?" She agrees to this plan of action and our horny bodies exit the pizza place.

At this point I feel like kissing her. We walk around my car and I say, "I might get in a wreck and die on the way to your apartment. You should kiss me now." This is the smoothest line of my 27-year existence and it works. We kiss, and it ain't no peck on the cheek. We sucked face.

I get wood.

I am going to get laid. I am sure of it.

I follow her car from the parking lot, screaming at the assholes who are cutting me off, blocking my view of her car. I have to traverse Highway 249, make a right onto Beltway 8 and tail this hot bitch for 20 minutes. I have gotten lost many, many times and driving in Houston is a nightmare. I drive like a bat out of hell trying to follow the vagina in the white car in front of me.

We turn onto Beltway 8 and trundle along in tandem for about five miles. At this point we are approximately three quarters of the way to her place. Then she turns into a gas station. My first thought is she needs gas, and she parks in front of the pump (pump my cock, bitch). I pull in and park at the store.

She gets out of her car and starts for mine. Oh shit. Either I'm going to lose my virginity in the restroom of a 7 Eleven (I have six condoms in my right jean pocket, at least I don't need those shitty convenience store rubbers) or the shit just hits the fan.

I get out of my car and she explains that she has decided against ****ing me on this particular night. I attempt to haggle with her for a makeout session, but once a bitch's mind is made up, there is no return, as most of you well know, barring threats of violence. We agree that we should have a second date.

I say "are you gonna call me?" She replies, "Are you gonna call ME?" I take this as an indicator of interest. We kiss again, Crom flutters between my legs, and I grab her ass. She walks back to her car and I drive home.

At least I didn't get lost on the way home. I had never been in that part of town before. Oh, I have also never been in a vagina.

Date #4, in the books. Let's see if this one has the common ****ing courtesy to return my phone calls.
I am bumping this thread because I am an attention whore.
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Old 06-21-2009, 01:47 PM   #6231
Skip Towne Skip Towne is offline
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More failure huh? Do you bathe regularly?
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Old 06-21-2009, 01:49 PM   #6232
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Originally Posted by Skip Towne View Post
More failure huh? Do you bathe regularly?
It's failure just because I didn't get laid?
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-21-2009, 01:50 PM   #6233
Sure-Oz Sure-Oz is offline
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It's failure if you never hear from her again

but atleast you kissed her
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Sure-Oz could ****ing track anyone in the country via Twitter. Dude makes me scared to leave the house.
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Sure-Oz in this mother****er. Resident Tweet master and maligned Royals fan.
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Old 06-21-2009, 01:51 PM   #6234
Pioli Zombie Pioli Zombie is offline
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JUST **** SOMEBODY ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 06-21-2009, 01:54 PM   #6235
Skip Towne Skip Towne is offline
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It's failure just because I didn't get laid?
Yes it is. You didn't complete your mission. Fail!
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Old 06-21-2009, 01:57 PM   #6236
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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When was the last time you kissed a girl, Skip?
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Old 06-21-2009, 02:24 PM   #6237
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You kissed a girl? Congratulations on reaching the pinnacle of achievement....for a junior high boy.
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Old 06-21-2009, 02:26 PM   #6238
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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You kissed a girl? Congratulations on reaching the pinnacle of achievement....for a junior high boy.
Three of 'em!
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Old 06-21-2009, 02:26 PM   #6239
Pioli Zombie Pioli Zombie is offline
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Backpage.com. Just get 'er done. As Lou Saban said. You can get it done. Ya gotta get it done.
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Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Pioli Zombie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 06-21-2009, 02:27 PM   #6240
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Three of 'em!


WOW, that's a hell of an accomplishment...for maybe one night?
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