Things i've seen on the road....

[Over-Head]

I started this thread a few months ago,hope no one minds me keeping it currant,and I hope you get a laugh out of it,even if it is at my expearience.

(ps...yeah I know I cant spell)


Ok Bishop...befor I have to get going,,heres a few of my favorite memories of 10yrs plus driving long haul coast to coast.....

Comming through the tunnel in Montreal Quebec one afternoon,I look in the mirrors to se this nissian 300zx all "blacked out" in the middle lane.
Looking down through the open T-top's when it got beside me (truckers have a WICKED view inside cars going by) I see this gal giving the driver a B.J. Traffic was really going slow,so being the sh*t disturber I am I light an M-60 fire cracker with about a 15 sec fuse on it and toss it into the back seat as they pulled away.....All I saw was his head and shoulders clear the roof line of the car.
He chased me for about 100 miles befor figuring out I wasnt pulling over.....

[Over-Head]

Here's one from wayyyy back.

A lot of guy's *claim* it was them it happend to,as for me it was not nor ever will be.!
O-H

...........As the story goes...."Billy Big Rigger" is on his way to *the other country* (be it from USA to CAN or vise versa) with a load of ...You guessed it............PING PONG BALLS!
Now this isn't just *any* load,,,no sir'eeee. This is a "honest to god,I swear it was even though you may not believe it" LOOSE load of ping pong balls.
Loose?....Why yes gentil reader,,,now is about the time where he draws you close to explane how they *blew the load into the trailer through the front "fruit hatch"...(a fruit hatch is a vent door on both ends of a trailer,more noted on refirigerated ones for fresh air circulation) with a big ole hose,,,,,so they can get more into the trailer,...UH HUHHHH sure they did.
You see the packaging would take up much more space so they blow them in loose.
Now as "Billy Big Rigger" reaches the border the coustoms and immograting inspectors deside they want to look at and inspect his load.
Now ole' Billy try's in vain to explane how the load is "A gazillion" LOOSE ping pong balls,and if they open his doors they'll all fall out!!

Now I crossed the American/Canadian border more times in the run of a "normal" year...than most folks will in their entire life time,and while I dont necessiarly have a love affair with *most coustoms officers,I realise they do have a job to do.Mind you some are as dumb as a fence post (like the collage kids they use at Niagra falls in the summer).*most do a pritty fair job,and really won't hassle you UNLESS provoked...BUTTTTTTTTTT there are a few exceptions,,,(most noted at the Windsor/ Detroit border BOTH ways!!)

Well the "good ole' boycoustoms inspector"dont listen to the explination of how when Billy reaches his delivery that he'll un hook from the trailer and the plant will lift it up on a big platform and open the back doors with a hydrolic ram of some sort or another,,,and let em' roll on out!

(BTW this is exactly how wood chips are unloaded at lumber mills)

And low and behold,,,the coustoms gard opens the door and all holy heck breaks loose!,,
Ping Pong Balls start go'n every where,and Billy sits back and laughs while the coustomes guards start picking up the balls.

......Now aint that a pip?

[Rain Man]

With regard to the coffee counter, can I sit there if I'm not a trucker and dress like that?

[Over-Head]

Fill your boots Kevin,,,,or shoud I say prepare to have them filled for ya....Man the SH*T fly's around the counter.I guess it's just so open an audience for "a guy prone to stretchen it a bit"..and he can talk to many at once.

Hope you got a laugh at some of the stories I wrote

[Over-Head]

Some times we get laughed at from somthing we do,say,or had happen to us.Here's one that happened to me and as humilliating as this is I SWEAR IT'S THE TRUTH....

On winters night i'm sleeping in a rest area in ILL.I wake up having to pee really bad.Looking quickly for a gator aid bottle or what ever else (gross I know but hey,it works when the can is a 1/4 mile away and your on the off ramp leading out of the rest area)
Not finding one,I know its only a matter of time befor I have a puddle in the trk if I dont do somthing quick....Being partially hidden by the trees,I open the pasangers door,and sort of kneel on the seat with one leg out on the running board and do my thing.well,while in the process begin freezing my foot,I start to lose my ballance so I step out fully on the running board,and shimmy a bit from te frozen aluminum running bords against my bear feet,just about the time a big ole gust of wind comes wipping down the side of my trk and trailer toward me....shivering like a fool,I really lose my ballance just about the same time the said gust of wind hits the door and sends me bare a$$ naked falling into a snow bank...........STOP LAUGHING IT GETS BETTER

Now here I am ,trying not to freeze to death and another gust of wind swings my door back the other way......Let me stop at this point to bring to your attention that the doors of a Freightliner dont UN-LOCK just because you open them from the inside.....back to the story.........

As I scramble for the door,I slip and said door closes,,,me out side,,,naked in a snow bank,with the door keys resting snuggly in my pants pocket ON THE FLOOR BY MY BED!!
Now I figure in about 4 min i'm gonna freeze to death out here,I I start holding on to the mirror arm,hanging off t cab of the truck like a feeble attempt at playing tarzan, and begin kicking the small vent glass window in the passangers door on the bottem.....about this time 1 big mother of an ILL state trooper is walking up behind said "naked white boy trying to break into said truck"
When He hollered freeze I fell into the snow bank a second time,and as I got up doing quite an amazing version of the funky chicken trying to stay warm I said sir,,,"just shoot me now will ya"
He says...I'm gonna pop that door with a slim jim...and god help ya if there aint a picture id with you on it in there!!!!


And you thought you were having a bad day

[bkkcoh]

over-head,

Who do you haul for?

I have a brother who hauls for Dart who is unfortunately a Raider fan also...

[Over-Head]

I'm an indepentant but I'm Landstar Ligon (out of Jacksonville)Qualified.I trip lease to them,or their agents almost exclusivly.

[Over-Head]

oK,,WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES.Here's a few Bigies from years gone by.

One I heard over a cup of coffee way back when went somthing like this.................
Seems A driver was given the keys to a brand new Cab Over Freightliner specially spec'd out for hauling low boy trailers.Any way,,the first night he has the truck parked at the yard just down the road from his house,locked up,but the keys in it so teh service mechanic coulod do his thing the next morning. the truck get's boosted!
By mid morning when the company calls for him to bring the truck down for servicing,,the driver relates where he left the unit,,,after the cops show up,and the insurance people get involved the case with little to go on,,,gets colder than a penguin's ***.
BUT THEN..............
A couple of months later this shady looking fella drives up to the shop in an old and abused pick up truck,and offers the head mechanic a "used" 13spd transmission for sale *cheap* then takes him out side the shop for a look see.
The first thing that catches the mechanic's eye is the fact that this "used tranny" dont have a drop of dirt/oil/or road grime on it,,,,and then he spot's the *almost ground off serial numbers*.
The shop forman comes out on the scean and hear's the offer,tells teh seller "hold tight while I calll the office to cut you a cheque"
In reality the forman called the cops,,,who actually showed up in the same hour...and the seller stayed at te party a weeeee bit too long!
To make a long story short the fella squeels like a stuck pig on the parts scam,and the trail leads back to a farmer in western Canada,who along with a few others get's busted with a barn fgull of *old parts* he's usuing to subsidizing his grain quota.
He'd steal the truck,strip the parts,then BURY the cab's and frames.
But they hadn't even had time to bury the Cab over they stole. (refer to first paragraph)
Someone was said to be over heard saying....."No wonder farmer Brown cant grow enough grain.....His bloody feild has so many cab's buried in it it's solid steel!"
Had the dude the farmer told to go sell the tranny gone to a chop shop and not a rescectibl co. the 2 just might be still in busness.

[Over-Head]

Here's a driver mistake that just kill's me when I think about it....
Back a few years ago I was leased to an outfit which used to send me out to western Canada quite often.
We had hired a new driver and he had made one sucessfull trip from Edmonton to Vancouver,branch to branch both ways and it went well.
His second trip was to take him to a smelter plant in "Trail British Columbia" Later the second afternoon the driver makes a call to dispatch and ask's if he knows how to find the plant.
I was in the office and the exchange I heard on the speaker phone went somtbhing like this.
Dispatch:....you see any smoke stacks?
driver...........ah no,,,no stacks.
Dispatch:...thats funny,,,you can see them from anywhere in the town.Which side of town are ya on?
driver:........the east side
Dispatch.....Are you sure?..from there you should be almost on top of the plant.What can you see?
driver:.........ahhhh the Port Mann scale i'm calling you from.
Dispatcher" Oh jim dandy! Your almost to VANCOUVER!!! you only missed Trail by 200miles.Look at your paper work.

A few seconds of silence and then..........

driver...: oh yeahhhhh Hehehe,,,guess i'll head back and call ya in the morning.

Ok...why does this crack me up?.....
Here's why...in order for the driver to have gotten to the Port MAnn scale to call he would have had to made a left turn right in front of the COMINCO SMELTER PLANT he had left 200 miles behind him!!!!

[Over-Head]

There's an unwritten law that states A) The boss is never wrong,,,and B)If the boss does in fact make a mistake,,,refer to law A.
Well here's one from the last company I worked for...and boy it's a doozie!!
Seems the boss commited to moving a peice of heavy equipment for a coustermer,and then discovered that dispatch didnt have any avaliable trucks to do it.He couldnt beg borrow or stael help from anyone! So he take s a city truck to go load it,and brings it back to the yard HOPING a driver would show up to take the dozer down the highway.
The boss is standing in the dispatcher's office when a fairly new looking truck with no name on the door roll's into the yard.He say's..."hire that guy.Load the D-8 onto him,,,and get his *** to Toronto PRONTO and dont be any more than a half hour doing it!
"What about test drive and back ground check's " asked the dispatcher,,,"that'll blow holes in our hiring policy"
"I dont give a rusty flying F word about that sh*t" screams the boss ..."we'll do it when he gats back!"
Well the guy gets a job,,and away he goes....and the boss is on the phone to the coustermer saying "your D-8 will be there day after tomorrow!
FOUR days later our office gets a call at 8am sharp, from the coustomer...."where's our BLANKITY BLANK MOTHERBLANKING DOZER?????"
The second call comes in at 8:01 sharp from the RCMP wondering if our outfit had seen a stolen truck,that perfectly matched our *newest owner operator"?
Do I really have to tell you that the dozer disappeared like a lead life preserbver?
Three weeks later though,the trailer was spotted and the equipment recovered...did we feel sorry for the boss?....NOT!!!!

[Over-Head]

Talk about making yer self feel stupid!
Last week I was at a truck stop just out side Toronto Ont,filling up my rig.This really nice Peterbuilt comes in besdie me and begins to fuel up as well.
WE both go in to pay for our deisel and come back out to our trucks but I notice that his has liquid falling out from under it.
I say shut er' down quick and lets take a look.(Being a former mechanic,I could pritty much tell it was rad fluid and there's only so many spots it can come from,so the repair shouldn't have been too hard.)
He pop's the hood,and see's what I see,,,a busted Rad hose right by the clamp comming out ot the top of the rad.Looking at me he says,,,with a bit of a southern drawl we Canadians pick right up on ...."Y'all know of a shop that can send out a service truck to get me fix'ed up"?
I looked at it and said,,"Hang on a sec,,I think I can jerry rig it up to get you to the Pete dealer just down 3 exits".
Making a long story short,I cut the hose compleatly,took out a bit of slack,pulled a new hose clamp out of my "TRUSTY" tool box which several of my friends claim has ONE of EVERYTHING known to mankind in it...tighten it up,help him top off the rad fluid and close the hood.
Feeling good about just helping somone is usually all the thanks I ever ask for...too many people in life have their hands stuck out,,,or just dont bother to help folks anymore.
..He says ..."What do I owe ya"?..I replied,,,"Buy me a coffe somtime and we'll call it square...You dont owe me a thing pal...welcom to Canada and have a great trip".
He askes me for my ph number and stuff..(I just gave him a busnes card)..and says if I ever get to TN,,look him up,and by the way 1 of his bosses will probably call to personally thank me,,"cuz it's just the way they are" he says.
I though nothing of it at all....UNTILL!!!!

About 2 hrs later i'm sitting in my truck nuking lunch (I have a microwave in my bunk) when my cell rings.....
Now I cant rmrmber looking at the lettering on the side of the guy's truck,,but I'm sure it didnt say what I now think it said!!!!

The call went somthing like this....(and the caller had a suthern drawl as well)
Ahhh,,it this Mr Over-Head?
Yeah,thats me,,,who's this?
This is the owner of the truck you just helped out,and I wanted to ask you a few questions...
(First I think,,Oh boy,,he's mad,adn now i'm in for it...)
Go ahead I say,,,what did ya want to know?
Well,,,he says what exactly did you do so I know what to tell teh Pete shop to look for?
I say,,"I shortned up the rad hose,clamped it,stuffed er' full a juice and told him to gouge on it to the next exit".
bit of a silence came over th3e phone,,,,
Ahhh Mr Over-Head...what exactly does that mean?
Ok,,now i'm lost,,he owns trucks and dont know what I just said?????
Befor I could answer,he than says.."You see I dont know much about our trucks,,its not really the end of the company i'm in."
OH GREAT!
I'm dealing with a bean counter I think...
"I'm in the musical end." he says..But then again you probably figured that out"
I replied..."How would I know that?...and by the way who the fu#k is this any way?"
"Oh excuse me he says...This is Kixx Brooks, (YES PEOPLE!!! FROM THE COUNTRY GROUP BROOKS AND DUNN!!!)I thought you knew who owned the truck,didnt my driver tell you?"
Now i'm getting anoyed...
"All right Billy quit fu#king around will ya?".....
Billy is my best friend in the whole world,(even though he hates football) and is ALWAYS pulling gag's like this on me.
The line goes really quiet and then the voice says...
"I don't know who Billy is,,but are you the fella that fixed up our equipment truck"?
I think for a quick second,,,and it hits me,,,Billy hasnt called me yet today,,how would he know I helped a fella fix his truck??
"OH DEAR GOD " I shreak in the phone...:"I'm sorry....I thought it was my friend playing a gag as he knows I really like your music and couldnt get tickets to your show in Ottawa on the 13th cus they were sold out"....
Now feeling compleatly stupid and not knowing what to say,,,I begin to appoligise profusly over and over...
...he says..."Not to worry,,,we really wanted to thank you fro your kindness and to let you know there's going to be 2 back stage passes for you at all 4 of our Canadian Shows next month,,just kind of our way to say thanks for the free help"!
I hung up the phone thinking wow,,,it aint every day you get to talk to a star,,,then got to thinking,ahh hell it was probably just some manager or somthing. That was until today.You see I just got back home from a raod trip about 3 hrs ago,,,and when I opened my mail I say a BIG letter from the Brooks and Dunn offices...In it were letters for the back stage passes,and autographed pictures for me...done in real ink,,not just some printed litograph style.
Now thats a story i'll always remember!!!!!

[Fat Elvis]

I'm glad to hear that a good deed was done.
I'm also glad to hear that it was appreciated.
Have fun at the concerts.

[Over-Head]

It's taken a few years, But I finished the manuscript a month or so ago, sent it to an editor in Toronto who forwarded it along to a publisher, who VERY intrested in doing my book.

[CosmicPal]

You should start your own blogger.

go to http://www.blogspot.com and share your travel stories with everyone across the globe. I'm sure people would love it.

[teedubya]

It seems to me that Over-Head is the ORIGINAL Commatard...

,,,

[recycle]

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