Stupid, Stupid, Stupid !!!!!

[badgirl]

A woman I met when I was selling cars at Nissan who I kinda made friends with practically moved herself in with me, by saying "I may have to use your spare bedroom for a while", well I felt sorry for her and let her.

She has been at my house for one week and its driving me nuts, for one she only has a part time job and I told her you need to start looking for a better job so you can start saving money.

If I was in this position I would be pounding the pavement everyday looking for something and start looking to move, but she hasn't. Now I don't know what to do. I mention something everyday about her needing to find a better job and how after she starts to work she should be able to save in a month or so to move.

She even acts like she has the time to be particular about where she moves.
Damn I don't know what to do cause I keep feeling that I am supporting her I beleive we may not be friends much longer, it may end badly.


What should I do and how should I go about doing it?

[badgirl]

Originally Posted by kcxiv

This. I know some people are total dicks, but what you gotta do is ask her what her plans are and tell her how you feel about the situation. If you dont then, its all your fault. If its only been a week, she's not really mooching a damned thing yet. NOw after a month or so and she gives you jack shit, then bitch you gotta go.

It cost me over 2000 dollars to stay the first night in my house, I didn't get a month in advance before I moved in. I paid upfront. She is home more than me using water and electric that would not be used if she wasn't there.

[luv]

Originally Posted by badgirl

It cost me over 2000 dollars to stay the first night in my house, I didn't get a month in advance before I moved in. I paid upfront. She is home more than me using water and electric that would not be used if she wasn't there.

Does she know you're this pissed about the situation?

[badgirl]

Originally Posted by kcxiv

Again, sit and talked to her ask her what she intends to do. Dont beat around the bush. Just tell her, i am not doing this to be an ass, but you gotta know what you are going to do. Just talk to her like a human being about things. Its not hard.

Yea I think I will do that tomorrow, I feel I need to set some kind of time limit on her length of stay.

[badgirl]

Originally Posted by luv

Does she know you're this pissed about the situation?

I am not pissed as much as scared that she will not try to find a better job and save to leave and things will end badly.

[luv]

Originally Posted by badgirl

I am not pissed as much as scared that she will not try to find a better job and save to leave and things will end badly.

Does she know this?

[Tactical Funky]

Originally Posted by kcxiv

This. I know some people are total dicks, but what you gotta do is ask her what her plans are and tell her how you feel about the situation. If you dont then, its all your fault. If its only been a week, she's not really mooching a damned thing yet. NOw after a month or so and she gives you jack shit, then bitch you gotta go.

Yep. Also, setting a deadline gives her incentive to find a full-time job more quickly.

[Param]

Originally Posted by badgirl

Ok let me give you a little history, I have known her for 3 years in which time she has lived with her boyfriend, who died, then moved in with her brother for over a year, then he made her leave ( I don't know the whole story) then moved in with as old woman as a live in sitter, then moved in with this guy she met on the net for like 2 mos. then he ran her off and she moved in with me. Yea I did feel sorry for her, but she is my age and she should face life and realize nothing is free and you can't just be living off someone. I am afraid if I don't stay on her she will think she can stay right on and on the way it is and never move out until it has to end badly. I really don't want that to happen, but I will not be taken advantage of.

That sounds awful from her side. But, since it's your place you can offer parameters. Like helping out via rent & utilities. Since it's been a week, im surprised ur this upset.

[badgirl]

Originally Posted by luv

Does she know this?

I talk to her about finding a job and how she should think about getting her life straight for her own good. She want to talk about the guy she broke up with, that she was with like 2 mos. all the time. I told her she had more important things to be thinking about like getting a job and finding her a place to call her own. I talk to her about things like that. Hoping she catches the hint without me being mean.

[luv]

Something I've learned...

Never let anyone stay/move in with you without setting guidelines. You'll get walked all over.

If you don't set guidelines, then you have no reason to complain, because you asked for it, whether you were just trying to be nice or not.

No one here can remedy the situation other than you.

[Param]

Show some compassion, but get to parameters that you would like

[LaChapelle]

I see a set of balls in both your futures
hair balls

[badgirl]

Originally Posted by Param

That sounds awful from her side. But, since it's your place you can offer parameters. Like helping out via rent & utilities. Since it's been a week, im surprised ur this upset.

Well what adds to it is I feel she has no respect for my privacy. My boyfriend and I were finally off the weekend at the same time. We left saturday and went to town and thinking she would be gone when I got back. I told her we had plans for the weekend. We came back and she was still sitting there and I had to tell her that she needed to find somewhere to go. I do not think I needed to tell her this, she had time in advance to know me and him had plans and wanted to be alone. If she would respect my life and the fact its my house it wouldn't be so bad, but I feel she doesn't do that.

[luv]

Originally Posted by badgirl

I talk to her about finding a job and how she should think about getting her life straight for her own good. She want to talk about the guy she broke up with, that she was with like 2 mos. all the time. I told her she had more important things to be thinking about like getting a job and finding her a place to call her own. I talk to her about things like that. Hoping she catches the hint without me being mean.

Sometimes, people don't catch hints. Hell, sometimes people don't get things whenever you smack them in the head with a 2x4. Can't make everyone like you all the time.

[Bugeater]

In all seriousness, you need to choose your "friends" better, just from the little information you've provided I've already identified her as a loser. A real friend wouldn't pull shit like this, and I guaran****ingtee she will milk this as long as you let her.

[badgirl]

Originally Posted by luv

Something I've learned...

Never let anyone stay/move in with you without setting guidelines. You'll get walked all over.

If you don't set guidelines, then you have no reason to complain, because you asked for it, whether you were just trying to be nice or not.

No one here can remedy the situation other than you.

I will do it, but I just wanted some input on a way to go about it without being hurtful. I really don't expect people off Chiefsplanet to come to my home and fix it.