Marriage Question

[royr17]

Ok lets start here.

I need some help with some things i need to know on gettin married, the do's, the dont's, the things you need to know about that.

I see you guys here some are married some arent so the ones that know stuff i need to know let me know about it.

So what are the things i should know about it, cause i dont wanna wait my whole life to get married, i actually wanna be married before i turn 26 which is 6 years from now.

But I wanna get started early in startin a family, so what are the do's and dont's in marriage ???

[Slayer Diablo]

Originally Posted by unlurking

Gotta disagree with you on this one.

I have never met anyone in a long term relationship who hasn't "met someone".

The one thing that gets me, is all the people that think that if you are truly in love with someone you can't have strong feelings for anyone else. That's bullshit. It's the strength to resist that temptation, because EVERYONE goes through it. It's when someone realizes that there current family is more important than banging the flavor of the week.

The real problem is appreciating what you have. You will ALWAYS be attracted to other people, that's human nature.

Once you meet the person you love, there's no need to resist temptation because the temptation is gone. You don't have feelings for any other person but the one you love...it's as if you've gained so much strength to resist temptation that the temptation itself just gave up and went on to someone else.

[unlurking]

Originally Posted by Chico Diablo

You're being too lenient on your definitions and contexts.... ALL relationships that fail were originally based on infatuation and lust. Solid relationships are those that go into completely healthy marriages and are founded on love. I'm not talking about the little teeny-bopper definition of love, I'm talking about the real concept. Now, I'll admit that a lot of people find my definition too strong, but I never really understood how the strongest feeling can have a definition any weaker than what I give it. Basically, my definition splits everything up into what I call the laws of love: 1) you're not attracted to anyone but the person you're in love with--that covers both mentally and physically. 2) you would go through an eternity of torment just to see the person you love for a split-second. 3) you would do absolutely anything for that person without asking or wanting anything in return--a.k.a. "love has no conditions". 4) you would go through the worst pain imaginable for a trillion years just to know for one second that the one you love is okay. /// There's still a lot that I'm leaving out, but those are the four that I can state without creating an essay.

Your "inexperience" is showing.

People who believe in your "law #1" are most likely to fail in a relationship when they realize they are human and sexually attracted to others.

"Oh, it must not be real love if Jenna Jameson can still give me a stiffy."

Haven't read the other "laws" yet, this one was enough of a bullshit call to remind me you are a teenager that doesn't know anything about life yet.

[unlurking]

Man, you are one dumb ass mofo.

So, still waiting for you story book wedding where you'll go riding in on "your favorite pony"?

For your own good, please stop believing this BS, otherwise you'll be dumping girlfriends/wives your entire life and rationalizing with the woody in your pants.

[unlurking]

Originally Posted by badgirl

I agree, I got married when I was 18 and we both grew up and we were different people than when we got married, I was married 13 years and the last few years I was unhappy and so was he (i think)
Put marriage off till you are grown and see who YOU are before bringing someone else into the picture.

Or, grow together?

Age doesn't matter. Your personal responsibility is already defined by the time your 18 or 20.

[Slayer Diablo]

Originally Posted by badgirl

I agree, I got married when I was 18 and we both grew up and we were different people than when we got married, I was married 13 years and the last few years I was unhappy and so was he (i think)
Put marriage off till you are grown and see who YOU are before bringing someone else into the picture.

Way to break Maslow's Pyramid...that's okay, I always hated Maslow anyway.

Depending on what type of "grown" you mean, I would say that I completely agree with you. I believe that self-actualization is needed to open one's eyes to so many facts, but even with that comes a couple of screwed up relationships...normally because one's eyes aren't completely open (metaphorically speaking, that is.)

[unlurking]

Originally Posted by Chico Diablo

Way to break Maslow's Pyramid...that's okay, I always hated Maslow anyway.

Depending on what type of "grown" you mean, I would say that I completely agree with you. I believe that self-actualization is needed to open one's eyes to so many facts, but even with that comes a couple of screwed up relationships...normally because one's eyes aren't completely open (metaphorically speaking, that is.)

Jesus christ this shit is fucking reeruned.

Self-actualization?
True Love?

Grow the fuck up and realize that ALL relationships only give you back what you put into it. This is teenage absurdity. You obviously know nothing about real relationships.

[Slayer Diablo]

Originally Posted by unlurking

Your "inexperience" is showing.

People who believe in your "law #1" are most likely to fail in a relationship when they realize they are human and sexually attracted to others.

"Oh, it must not be real love if Jenna Jameson can still give me a stiffy."

Haven't read the other "laws" yet, this one was enough of a bullshit call to remind me you are a teenager that doesn't know anything about life yet.

Do not even attempt to battle me on this. I know for a fact that the first law is both possible and probable even with humans.

[badgirl]

Originally Posted by unlurking

Jesus christ this shit is fucking reeruned.

Self-actualization?
True Love?

Grow the fuck up and realize that ALL relationships only give you back what you put into it. This is teenage absurdity. You obviously know nothing about real relationships.

I don't beleive many marriages will last when you get married young for the same reason I put in my other post.

[unlurking]

Originally Posted by Chico Diablo

Do not even attempt to battle me on this. I know for a fact that the first law is both possible and probable even with humans.

!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!

AND JUST HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED?!?!?!?!

[KcMizzou]

This thread is funny again... but for completely different reasons than before.

[unlurking]

Originally Posted by badgirl

I don't beleive many marriages will last when you get married young for the same reason I put in my other post.

I didn't have a problem with your post (trying to bring reality to the discussion). My problem was with Mr. CareBears belief in being the princess bride.

[Slayer Diablo]

Originally Posted by unlurking

Jesus christ this shit is fucking reeruned.

Self-actualization?
True Love?

Grow the fuck up and realize that ALL relationships only give you back what you put into it. This is teenage absurdity. You obviously know nothing about real relationships.

If you want to be in some piss-poor relationship that's based on infatuation and lust, then yes, you only get out what you put in. That is a fact of life, and so many people go for it because they have all lost sight of what love really is. They think that they can find it just because they went through all of the relationship stuff in highschool and college...they think that they can find it just because they're in the "real world"...that is why it's so rare to find love anymore and why people would just jump to the conclusion that it's human nature to be infatuatious and filled with lust.

[tk13]

I'm not reading all this drivel. Has this thread devolved into a 17 year old who is the youngest active member of the board explaining to everyone the inner workings of relationships?

[KcMizzou]

Originally Posted by tk13

I'm not reading all this drivel. Has this thread devolved into a 17 year old who is the youngest active member of the board explaining to everyone the inner workings of relationships?

Yes... again.

[badgirl]

Originally Posted by unlurking

I didn't have a problem with your post (trying to bring reality to the discussion). My problem was with Mr. CareBears belief in being the princess bride.

That who I meant to read it, I knew you weren't throwing it at me, I was just getting your back on the subject. I fully agree