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Old 06-25-2007, 04:21 PM  
convict1983 convict1983 is offline
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Laptops, motorcycles, and hot chicks (a compilation)
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaFace
This thread is a compilation of three threads which were all started by the same person. They were merged into one thread since the person is probably not worthy of having three separate threads in the hall. The original thread begins here, and the links below will "jump" to the first posts in the second and third threads.
I stole a sweet laptop today

So I was in Paradise Cafe today for lunch and it was jam packed. There was this guy that was sitting in a booth all by his lonesome and had a sweet lookin laptop. The dude gets a call on his cell phone and decides to take the call outside. I was perplexed because he just left his laptop all by itself. So, its now been 15 minutes and the guy is STILL outside on the phone!

I thought to myself that I really needed a new laptop and this one was there for the taking. Well, there were no cameras in there and it was so busy that no one would notice so I went up to it casually and folded it up and exited the opposite door from him. Like taking candy from a baby.

And I dont feel too bad because the guy didnt have any business or work related stuff on there, just a couple of photo albums. Hey, if he is too stupid to leave his laptop alone for more than 15 minutes then he deserved it.
Last edited by DaFace; 07-01-2008 at 05:07 PM..
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Old 06-28-2008, 02:48 PM   #1876
Saccopoo Saccopoo is offline
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Eh...one on the left, maybe, if I was about ten beers into the evening. No, probably not even then. Her bone structure is not very good, and she's carrying a little too much body fat. The one on the right...not so much. Too hippy, without the accompanying large breasts to give the hippiness a sense of proportion and symmetry. As well, she's a little too soft looking. Also, the over-bleached hair with the dark ends is just plain tragic. Neither one is all that pretty. Seriously. They might be nice people and stand up citizens, but I don't think that they are worthy of being posted on the internet as uber-hotts. Sorry, and if that's the best that you can do in terms of "bragging" about the hotts you can pull, it's not really that good.

But I imagine that to you, as a person meandering about a social setting that doesn't include a pool or beach with no shirt on (so very classy), drunk, with a squished looking head (I am reticent to criticize, as your personal appearance is no fault of your own - genetics give you what you are, it's not your fault if you have a shrunken head), that these ladies represent quite the score.

I am actually more concerned about the bike. Where's the bike? You said that chicks dig a guy with a bike. Where is it? What is it? Is it a mountain bike? A road racing bike? Did you mean motorcycle? Or are you scoring the two 6's (who are better than the other three 3's in attendancefor a grand total of five woman at the event) at the Sierra Club kegger by rolling up on your electric powered scooter? Let's have some verifying proof that it was the bike you rolled up on that brought these maidens of mediocrity away from their flower garden on the back wall to your borderline scrawny virility.
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Old 06-28-2008, 02:53 PM   #1877
Skip Towne Skip Towne is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saccogoo View Post
Eh...one on the left, maybe, if I was about ten beers into the evening. No, probably not even then. Her bone structure is not very good, and she's carrying a little too much body fat. The one on the right...not so much. Too hippy, without the accompanying large breasts to give the hippiness a sense of proportion and symmetry. As well, she's a little too soft looking. Also, the over-bleached hair with the dark ends is just plain tragic. Neither one is all that pretty. Seriously. They might be nice people and stand up citizens, but I don't think that they are worthy of being posted on the internet as uber-hotts. Sorry, and if that's the best that you can do in terms of "bragging" about the hotts you can pull, it's not really that good.

But I imagine that to you, as a person meandering about a social setting that doesn't include a pool or beach with no shirt on (so very classy), drunk, with a squished looking head (I am reticent to criticize, as your personal appearance is no fault of your own - genetics give you what you are, it's not your fault if you have a shrunken head), that these ladies represent quite the score.

I am actually more concerned about the bike. Where's the bike? You said that chicks dig a guy with a bike. Where is it? What is it? Is it a mountain bike? A road racing bike? Did you mean motorcycle? Or are you scoring the two 6's (who are better than the other three 3's in attendancefor a grand total of five woman at the event) at the Sierra Club kegger by rolling up on your electric powered scooter? Let's have some verifying proof that it was the bike you rolled up on that brought these maidens of mediocrity away from their flower garden on the back wall to your borderline scrawny virility.
At least he hasn't claimed to be a Mensa member..........yet.
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Old 06-28-2008, 02:56 PM   #1878
FAX FAX is offline
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I'd post on this thread, but I'm too busy wasting my life away getting fatter so I can't see my penis. Good times.

FAX
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Old 06-28-2008, 02:58 PM   #1879
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I see Brokebike Mountain is still continuing. I was hoping this movie had ended in a fiery crash.

Just give it up douchebag. No one gives a rat's ass what you're trying to prove. Run along with your bi and the curious and take those skanky ho's with you.
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Old 06-28-2008, 03:04 PM   #1880
stumppy stumppy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FAX View Post
I'd post on this thread, but I'm too busy wasting my life away getting fatter so I can't see my penis. Good times.

FAX
Don't worry Mr Fax, it only matters that the beautiful and witty Mrs Fax can see it.




And that we can't.
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Old 06-28-2008, 03:16 PM   #1881
teedubya teedubya is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chasedude View Post
I see Brokebike Mountain is still continuing. I was hoping this movie had ended in a fiery crash.

Just give it up douchebag. No one gives a rat's ass what you're trying to prove. Run along with your bi and the curious and take those skanky ho's with you.


BrokeBike Mountain.

That should be his username.
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Old 06-28-2008, 03:55 PM   #1882
Scalper Scalper is offline
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I banged both those chicks last weekend. I didn't need a bike All I needed was a bottle of Whiskey
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Old 06-28-2008, 05:25 PM   #1883
Baby Lee Baby Lee is offline
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Originally Posted by Brokebike Mountain View Post
Also I taxed the blonde last night. She was a good lay so I think she is worthy enough to be one of my friends with benefits.
Brokebike's version of taxing

"Wowee, this . . . female. . . is very sexually stimulating, I think I may be able to stay hard long enough to put on a convincing show. Can't wait to impress my internet bros when I tell them how hetero I am."

With all the straight talk and all the poking fun at everyone's imagined flab, face it dude, you're into bears and you posting here is the internet equivalent of punching the girl you [well, not you, we] liked on the arm in grade school.
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Old 06-28-2008, 09:29 PM   #1884
Gonzo Gonzo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Midnight_Douchebag View Post
A 135,000 dollar house?! Wow, can I call you Donald Trump?
You are a baller my friend. Did you really just BRAG about a 135,000 dollar house??? Bwhahahahaha

Actually I just might post pics of my bike and Audi. I'll think about it. My bike is brand new and my Audi is a 2006.
Good comeback, you had to think about that one a bit huh?

Well, you see I don't suck off of the government's teet, nor do I ask my parents for cash to go out to the clubs in which you frequent I'm sure.

I have to give you some credit though. I'm sure shaving your chest and applying spray on tan makes it a hell of a lot easier to find your boyfriends spunk.

Good for you sir....
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Old 06-28-2008, 09:37 PM   #1885
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Originally Posted by Ari Chi3fs View Post


BrokeBike Mountain.

That should be his username.
Mods I endorse this post.
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Old 06-28-2008, 09:48 PM   #1886
Logical Logical is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Midnight_Douchebag View Post
A 135,000 dollar house?! Wow, can I call you Donald Trump?
You are a baller my friend. Did you really just BRAG about a 135,000 dollar house??? Bwhahahahaha

Actually I just might post pics of my bike and Audi. I'll think about it. My bike is brand new and my Audi is a 2006.
I don't know if a single poster has ever deserved to be ostracized more than you. That includes American Hero
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Old 06-28-2008, 10:45 PM   #1887
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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It turns out, I know Blonde....

She just forwarded me your phone messages stud muffin.


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Old 06-28-2008, 10:59 PM   #1888
stumppy stumppy is offline
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Also I taxed the blonde last night. She was a good lay so I think she is worthy enough to be one of my friends with benefits.
.
Translation :

The blonde said 'Uh...let's just be friends. I've had enough three hump chumps already'.
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Old 06-28-2008, 11:03 PM   #1889
pr_capone pr_capone is offline
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,
WOW

That is ridiculous..... I wonder if she ever called him back.
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Old 06-28-2008, 11:15 PM   #1890
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Just when I thought this thread had lost its burst ...

It may make 1,000 posts after all.
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