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Old 01-07-2018, 05:42 AM  
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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Tigger is a moron. Here's Why:

I woke up around 4:30 AM after thrashing around trying to sleep. I made a pact with myself that I wouldn't let this game upset me. I saw this coming and was not surprised at all that we got another Mama Cass Style Choke Job at Arrowhead. I guess binging on whiskey and Taco Bell at 10pm wasn't a good idea either.

What made me mad was being questioned on my objectivity. I think when I write up the Ten Things, they are fair. If they are anything else, it's not worth the time or effort to write them.

Tigger said this about his man crush in one of last night's threads about me:
"Yea we know you've never been able to objectively discuss Smith. So there's that."

So here's my rebuttal, then I'm going back to bed:

I went back through various Ten Things over the past season, and copied what I had to say about Alex in many of the games. It's pasted below. Draw your own conclusions as to my objectivity or lack thereof. It's a long read, but a good read.

I'll do a "Ten Things about the 2017 Season" once the Antacid kicks in and I get rid of this freakin' hangover.

8-26-17: Pre-season overview: Elvis, uh I mean Casshole, uh...I mean Alex Smiff: I've come to the firm belief that Smiff is just a slightly better than average NFL starting QB. You can make a firm argument that he's the third best in our division, only Semen for the Donks is worse, and not by much. Smiff's receivers did him no favors; but if you watch his throws, they're never on the numbers or in stride. They're high, or low, or behind the receiver. Maholmie, on the other hand, hits guys where they can do something with the ball once its been delivered. Yeah, it's going to be a learning year for Mahomie behind Smiff. But the kid has promise. I'm much more optimistic than when we picked him over Watson on draft day.

9-7-17 Pats: This is my 51st year as a rabid take no prisoners Chiefs fan. I’ve lived and died with this team through winning a Super Bowl to being so bad we got the very first pick in the draft. Tonight was an important night in team history, because the Chiefs never, ever seem to play lights out, on the road, in a Nationally Televised game. The closest thing I can think of to tonight’s win was the first time the Chiefs were on Monday Night Football in the early 1970s, and Dawson beat Johnny Unitas and the Colts in Baltimore. This win means a lot, and I’m going to eat some Alex Smith flavored crow, as this was the best game I think Smith has ever played as a professional. I’ll get to Smith, as he and a rookie fumbling running back were the difference tonight, but I want to do some chronology first… So let me say that I was absolutely shocked that Alex Smith had this game inside him. Dude was 28 for 35, 368 yards and 4 TDs, and every one was right on the freaking money. Harris in traffic, perfect swing pass to Hunt, perfect bomb to a streaking Hill (his missed pass from last years Steelers game) and another perfectly thrown ball to Hunt on the 78 yard play down the hash. He only threw short of the sticks a few times, and didn’t wildly miss receivers as he’s often prone to do. Offensive line did a great job in protection, only giving up three sacks. Two, really, as Alex’s own feet sacked him once early on. Smith can’t play any better than tonight. Now, if we can only get a performance like this in the playoffs. When it’s do or die, and not when we’ve still got 15 games left to go. But for tonight, he outplayed Brady, and that’s exactly what we needed. Well done, Alex.

9-17-17 Eagles: In the first half, Alex started looking very last year Alex. He threw one and two yard dink passes. The one play where he went long he overthrew Tyreek Hill by two steps. Then before the half he got sacked a couple times and looked a little woozy. On the sideline they got Mahomes up and warming, but Alex stayed in. Second half adjustments were great. Alex came out, played much better, and the O-Line gave him much better protection. Alex also ran a couple times to turn a third into a first down. KC was only 5 for 12 on third down today, we’re going to need to watch that stat as the season rolls on.

10-2-17 Redskins: Alex is a lot of things, but he is NOT a pussy. Tonight he played a remarkable game. He was our second leading rusher -56 yards-and had one more TD than Kareem the Dream. The Dream had 101 rushing, with most of that coming in the fourth quarter. It seemed that in the final quarter, Skins defenders were dropping like flies, and Hunt just wore their asses out. Hunt has another 20 yards receiving. He’s a bad man, hard to bring down, and shined in the national spotlight outplaying Chris Thompson, who ran amok on the Raiders last week. But against our Defense, Thompson could only get 23 yards. Alex got beat up pretty good again -sacked four times- and he took a lot of hits after getting rid of the ball. But he out threw Cousins in total passing yards completing 73% of his passes and had NO Picks. Bravo, great job by Alex.

10-8-17 Texans: Watson’s stats are going to look pretty gaudy with five TD passes. Two of them were garbage time Hail Marys that just happened to hit. If he keeps running around like Daffy Duck, somebody’s gonna clean his clock this season. Alex had a very good night. He finished 29 of 37 -that’s about 79% completion rate, had 324 yards, no picks, three TDs (one was a shovel pass to DAT) and was only sacked once behind a makeshift line. Alex spread the ball to ten receivers, which is always a indicator of a good night for him. He also rushed for 19 yards, running away from trouble to keep drives alive. KC was 9 of 15 on third down, including converting 3rd and 11 twice, and converting a 3rd and 16. That’s pretty damn good, especially on the road.

10-15-17 Steelers: Alex has some responsibility for today, but he wasn’t the worst guy on the field. O-Line gave him little or no time to pass, and when Alex did have time, he either missed guys streaking wide open, AGAIN, like the playoff game, or he was off-target. Pittsburgh is a cheap shot team, and I’m just relieved he got through the game relatively unscathed. He got whacked in his passing arm once in the first half, but shook that off. Look at how Green Bay and Tampa Bay’s season has been drastically altered with QB injuries today. I kind of had a feeling Alex was going to have a rough day when the snap for the safety went like six feet over his head. Alex was sacked three times and completed 56% of his passes for 246 yards, one TD and no picks. That’s passable if you have a ground game. Problem is, Andy only ran the ball 15 times the whole freakin’ game and the Steelers were all over Hunt. Their Defensive Line pushed our line around all day and that made Andy abandon the run in the second half. Can’t win without balance, can't win without a ground game.

10-20-17 Raiders: Let’s start on offense. For the Alexsexuals, Alex Smith did not lose the game per se. He didn’t win it either, and could have with a competent drive in his last two possessions. Oakland shut out Kansas City in the fourth quarter in a back and forth game that had multiple lead changes. The way the defense way playing, you could not assume Oakland would not score if you gave them an opportunity. Chiefs had a two possession lead starting the 4th quarter. Kansas City gave Oakland two opportunities. First, Colquitt punted the ball away with 5:48 left, Raiders are down by six, and the defense gets its first three and out on Carr in the entire game. Chiefs get the ball back, and go three and out; punts again, giving Carr the ball on his 15 yard line with 2:25 left, one time out and the two minute warning. The defense could not stop jack shit. Carr passes the team right down the field, and the refs give him four shots to win inside the Chiefs 11 yard line. Alex and the offense failed to burn enough clock or sustain a drive to put the game away. You can argue that is on Andy and play calling. But if Alex is supposed to be an “MVP Candidate,” you sustain ball control at that point of the game and don’t give Oakland another chance. Total fail on offense at crunch time.

10-31-17 Donks: For the Alexsexuals: Alex did not have his best of nights, but he did have some terrific key plays. The pass to Kelce for the TD was on the money. So was a pass to Tyreek Hill with Talib draped all over him. Harris of the Stone Hands People should have had a TD that hit him literally right in the mitts. Which reminds me: Should all our receivers wear yellow mitts like Kelce? Would that help Alex see their hands when he throws? Alex had a gutsy 14-yard scramble to pick up a first down and was only sacked once. When sacked, he did fumble. That was the first Chiefs lost fumble since Kareem Hunt’s first NFL carry vs. New England. Tyreek’s crazy option pass is the first pick the Chiefs have thrown this season. So Hill has more picks than Alex. The troubling stat is Alex was zip for three in the red zone. That has to improve, especially come playoff time. Except for the offensive malaise starting the second half, Alex and the offense did a decent job and burned enough time in the fourth quarter stretch to seal the deal this time.

11-5-17 Cowboys: Here’s the reason to be pessimistic: I think we’re looking at last year all over again. We’ll probably coast our way into the playoffs, and we’ll be the number three seed behind the Steelers and Pats. And if we have to play a team with a strong running game and good defense, like Pittsburgh again or maybe Jacksonville with Fournette, we’ll get trampled because we can’t stop the run. And if we get past that game somehow and Alex comes up against a better QB in a winner take all match, like against Brady or Rapistburger, he’ll play well but lose, as usual. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Oh well, at least we aren’t Cleveland or the New York Giants.

11-19-17 NY Giants: I might as well start with pissing off the Alexsexuals and say this: What you saw today is what Alex Smith is. He cannot put the team on his back and will it to win. He’s just not good enough. If you look at the stats, Alex and Eli were basically the same, sucking lousy QB. Smith 27 for 40 for 230 yards, no TDs, two picks and one sack. He averaged less than six yards per pass completion. Eli was 19 for 35 for 205 yards, no TDs, one pick, no sacks and averaged less than six yards per pass completion. And Eli had probably ten balls dropped on him. Both teams were awful on third down. KC was 3 for 11, New York 3 for 13. If ANY of the Giants usual starting receivers play in this game, we probably lose this game by three TDs. I'm not calling for Mahomes, because unless Alex gets whacked and knocked out, it ain't happening. We're stuck with Alex for the duration of this year, and you all better resign yourself to accepting that. Because Chiefs.

11-26-17 Bills: Once again we saw the genuine Alex Smith. He’s getting happy feet in the pocket again. He tried running for a couple first downs in the first half, but wasn’t fast enough to get there. As the game went on, his body language got worse and worse. If you watch him on the sidelines, he only talks to Nagy or Andy. He doesn’t say a word to any of his offensive guys. In timeouts he wanders off by himself. He seems detached from the rest of his team mates. His body language reminds me a lot of the shitty Damon Huard years. Andy was more animated coming out for the second half, going over to the bench and trying to rah rah some guys; but Alex was aloof and just didn’t look like he wanted to play. He was one of the first guys down the stairs after the game was over.

12-3-17 NY Jets: You can blame Alex for this loss. You cannot blame Alex for this loss. I can prove it either way. Alex threw for 366 yards and four TDs, and was the leading rusher with a single 70 yard run. The play before that run he missed Hill by under throwing him, or Hill would have had three TDs today. After Alex’s run we have the ball first down on the Jets 16. Hunt runs for two yards. Alex takes a sack. Then Andy takes a time out, and Nagy calls a special play. The play was so special Alex got sacked again, and Buttkicker has to kick a 38 yard field goal. So we go up 17 to 14 instead of 21 to 14. Alex’s record when his team gives up 24 points or more is now 9-43. With all the defensive failure, Alex got the ball back on the 25 yard line with 2:16 and no timeouts. Even with hitting Hill for 50 yards on another under thrown pass, Chiefs get the ball down to the Jets 19 yard line with a minute left. Alex overthrows end zone. Then Hunt drops a pass. Then Smith throws into a double covered Robinson, and on 4th down, he forces the ball at Kelce where the pass was nowhere close. So when Alex is given the chance to tie or win the game. He failed. Again. On the TV shots of Alex on the sidelines in the second half, there was a lot of him sitting alone on the bench, head down, literally twiddling his fingers, looking like he was foreboding the defense being on the field and not stopping anything. Bad body language again this week.

12-10-17 Oakland: Alex had one bad pick -turning over Zombo’s fumble recovery literally on the next play with a bad throw down the middle of the field somewhat aimed at Kelce. He had no TDs today, which is a little concerning as we look towards playoff time. Chiefs settled for four field goals or we could have blown Oakland completely off the field. A 26-zip lead seems pretty safe, unless you remember what Andy’s defense did in the Playoffs against Andrew Luck a few years ago. Today, it was good enough. Alex ran five times for 24 yards, but was also sacked four times. A couple of those sacks were his own fault for not getting rid of the football.

12-24-17 Dolphins: Alex was by far the better QB today. I never felt like Miami had a real bead on our offense, except in the second half when Andy was chewing clock and kept running K-Hunt up the middle over and over. Alex took some really tough shots today. He had a gutsy scramble where he shook off two guys who had him dead, rolled out left and ran ten yards for a first down. He was only sacked once, which is pretty good when facing Wake and Suh. He also got off a nice first down pass to Albert Wilson in the fourth quarter where the corner blitz came hard and fast from the left, and he got the ball out just in time to the right. He had three TD passes lost on him; Wilson should have had one, Kelce could have had two-he dropped a tough one-hander on the way to the ground and made a great catch on the one that did stick- and Ty Hill had a Lynn Swann style toe tap TD waived off by the zebras. Alex had no picks and ran up over 400 yards of offense. And he made it through this season uninjured. Well done, Alex. Alas, If he just could have played better against the Giants and Bills….
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Old 01-07-2018, 05:50 AM   #2
ChiliConCarnage ChiliConCarnage is online now
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You had me at Tigger is a moron, tbh.
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Old 01-07-2018, 05:55 AM   #3
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I think you've been pretty fair. There are a handful here that aren't and they are as annoying as Bronco fans because you can't have an intelligent discussion about Chiefs football without them taking over and refusing to see any position but their own.
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Old 01-07-2018, 05:55 AM   #4
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Don’t let tigger get under your skin. He’s already under Alex’s foreskin.
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Old 01-07-2018, 08:04 AM   #5
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Tigger is a moron. Don’t let it rile you.

I can’t tell if he is A troll, Smith’s wife, Smith’s wife, Smith, or just shyguy/Midnight_Vulture level dumb. Even the biggest trolls don’t try that hard.
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Old 01-07-2018, 08:07 AM   #6
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Old 01-07-2018, 08:26 AM   #7
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Nice work mods. Nice work.
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Old 01-07-2018, 08:31 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Buehler445 View Post
Tigger is a moron. Don’t let it rile you.

I can’t tell if he is A troll, Smith’s wife, Smith’s wife, Smith, or just shyguy/Midnight_Vulture level dumb. Even the biggest trolls don’t try that hard.
This. On top of that ****ing by the refs, no reason to let a ****stick like tigger concern you.

Hopefully, he and about a half dozen other of Alex Smith's family will move on to his new home with him.
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Old 01-07-2018, 08:33 AM   #9
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A fair and honest assessment, George. That's what's so maddening about Smith. One game (or half) he looks like the next coming of Joe Montana and the next he looks like a single wing QB.
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Old 01-07-2018, 08:39 AM   #10
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You rule, George.

Tigger and his ilk suck more dick than Alex Smith when he feels a tiny bit of pressure on third and long on a key drive in the playoffs.


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Old 01-07-2018, 08:51 AM   #11
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Thread title is two words too long.
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Old 01-07-2018, 09:00 AM   #12
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Great thread Mr GBlowflsh. You are true class and a true legend.
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Old 01-07-2018, 09:11 AM   #13
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Solid work, George
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Old 01-07-2018, 09:27 AM   #14
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If there's anyone who's never been able to objectively discuss Smith, it's Tigger. He's always deflected blame to the rest of the team.

Oh, and he needs to be sent back to the Romper Room. Has no ****ing business being in the Lounge after a game like that.
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Old 01-07-2018, 09:36 AM   #15
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Yay another thread about me.

The truth is while you've given credit to Smith (at times) you've always found ways to make them back-handed compliments.

Yesterday was another fine example of CP having a meltdown over QB play when there was more to it. But going back a few years ago when it was ALL Alex's fault around here, CP is finally making strides in watching the games more objectively.

Here's an example: http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=303901
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