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Old 12-24-2014, 03:36 PM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Gay Day With Clay VI: Return of the Fed-I
Puke Claywalker has returned to his home planet of Postooine in an attempt to rescue his friend Han Trollo from the clutches of the vile gangster Clarka the Hunt.

Little does Puke know that the CHECKDOWN EMPIRE has secretly begun construction on a new armored ennui station even less powerful than the first dreaded Dink Star.

When completed, this ultimate weapon will spell certain doom for the small band of rebels struggling to restore touchdowns to the franchise...

So let's do this shit.

I wake up in the morning and spend some time with my girlfriend. She's always there for me. I'm actually getting work done here. Yes, i get to watch Jay Cutler getting sacked for work. It's a swell gig.



Let's get ready for our gay day. It's a bit chilly so I decide to wear corduroys. I got them on sale from Jos. A Bank!



Here's our first stop! Look at all those ****ing TVs. I already have a TV but just walking into Sam's Club and seeing them all gives me wood.



What should we ****ing buy at Sam's Club? All the necessities...hummus, celery, apples, mother****ing tuna because this growing boy needs his protein...also I'm 33 in seven days and don't want to lose my hair. **** you. I'm heading this shit off at the pass. Also, I am a cheap bastard and I'm not springing extra for Rogaine.



FUUUUUU*******. This is indeed a Star Wars themed Gay Day. I didn't buy these but just walking past them makes me hop in the air and click my heels together.



OH MAN I WALKED PAST THIS THOUGH AND YOU BET I BOUGHT IT.



**** yes. I am slightly European, so these will go great with my super gay tea breaks. 10 bucks for the whole tin, too. I love Sam's Club. The Force is strong with me, mother****er.



Speaking of Lucasfilm references, look, it's Indiana ****ing Jones! I have a moment of regret, because I'm also wearing a leather jacket, and could have brought my fedora. I could have totally posed with this guy. ****.



I skip the gratuitous slice of Sam's Club pizza and decided it's lunchtime. **** going to these places, though. If you eat at Panera bread you are either fat, a really stupid college girl, or just have terrible taste in restaurants. Actually, all three of those things more than likely.



THIS IS WHERE I'M EATING. **** ALL OF YOU WHO DON'T LIKE IT.



Hey look, pagan symbols and pitch awards. I'm ****ing down. This is also my first time here.



Would you look at all that food that will make me shit the rainbow later. LET'S DO THIS. God this place smells wonderful. It's time to feed myself.



I get my first plate. The service here sucks and they don't even bring me water. I had to get my own utensils. No ****s given. I'd rather not tip a dirty hindu anyway.



My water ****ing arrives after an extra from Temple Doom finally gets done with his human sacrifices, and I begin my second plate. This food is awesome. Kali Ma, shakti de!



KALI MAAAAAAAAA! KALI MAAAAAAAAA! The Daal is a bit runny, but it's all gonna be runny in a few hours so no big deal. I am ****ing stuffed. Note that I didn't get a refill on my water, because ****ing Punjab was too busy ripping some guy's heart out and lowering him into a pit of lava.



We pause for a second to reflect on life. Current attitude: gluttonous. I am a Fed-I, like my father before me. GET IT. I FED MYSELF, SO I AM A FED-I. Oh, **** you.



We're not done ****ing around with indian shit, so let's go next door.



YES. Look at all this shit. **** Price Chopper, Hyvee and Aldi. This place is where it's at.



Also to be ****ed: your American swill cookies. I get my cookies imported. Also, they're called "biscuits." You philistines.



Hit the second post and see how we end this adventure.
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Old 12-24-2014, 05:31 PM   #46
BigMeatballDave BigMeatballDave is offline
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Coming from the guy who wears jean shorts with a jersey tucked in
Alex Smith Jersey, get it right.
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Old 12-24-2014, 05:33 PM   #47
Chiefs4TheWin Chiefs4TheWin is offline
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lol @ the stupid ass Cassel Jersey. That store needs to be eradicated from earth for charging anything more than 1 cent for that garbage.

Nice post gochiefs!
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Old 12-24-2014, 05:37 PM   #48
Sweet Daddy Hate Sweet Daddy Hate is offline
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lol @ the stupid ass Cassel Jersey. That store needs to be eradicated from earth for charging anything more than 1 cent for that garbage.

Nice post gochiefs!
The same will be said for Smith.
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Old 12-24-2014, 05:41 PM   #49
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Coords are ****ing awesome. I am inspired, and must purchase.
They make great survival pants also. If you need to start a fire you can take your pants off and rub them together to create an ember.
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Old 12-24-2014, 05:43 PM   #50
LoneWolf LoneWolf is offline
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I would not touch a public bathroom door handle for any less than $50.
Do you know how I know you're a pussy?
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Old 12-24-2014, 05:50 PM   #51
PizzaDoughz PizzaDoughz is offline
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Do you know how I know you're a pussy?
Either you're trolling or you like touching other peoples crap and piss. A lot of dudes don't even bother washing their hands and it's sick
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Old 12-24-2014, 05:56 PM   #52
LoneWolf LoneWolf is offline
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Either you're trolling or you like touching other peoples crap and piss. A lot of dudes don't even bother washing their hands and it's sick
Do you know there are shit particles in the air all around you? You probably have shit in your mouth right now. If you want to put a towel in your hand when you open the door to a public restroom, that fine. But to state you wouldn't touch one for less than $50 is dumb.

You have an immune system fir a reason and if you don't use it it becomes weak. I swear to God we've become a nation of ****ing nancy boys.
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Old 12-24-2014, 06:06 PM   #53
Sweet Daddy Hate Sweet Daddy Hate is offline
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They make great survival pants also. If you need to start a fire you can take your pants off and rub them together to create an ember.
You could also grab a stick and use your pants for a washboard when you get taken captive by hillbillies and are trying to entertain them and keep them out of your anus!
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Old 12-24-2014, 06:07 PM   #54
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Do you know there are shit particles in the air all around you? You probably have shit in your mouth right now. If you want to put a towel in your hand when you open the door to a public restroom, that fine. But to state you wouldn't touch one for less than $50 is dumb.

You have an immune system fir a reason and if you don't use it it becomes weak. I swear to God we've become a nation of ****ing nancy boys.
There's always been a little shit in the meat.
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Old 12-24-2014, 06:20 PM   #55
In58men In58men is offline
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Old 12-24-2014, 06:22 PM   #56
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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I enjoy Gay Days, these should be done once a week.
I could post another one from like, November, but I seem to have misplaced my flash card. It better be around here somewhere, because if I threw it out I'm going to be devastated. I had pics of my doggie on there.
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Old 12-24-2014, 06:36 PM   #57
MMXcalibur MMXcalibur is offline
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Old 12-24-2014, 07:20 PM   #58
In58men In58men is offline
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I could post another one from like, November, but I seem to have misplaced my flash card. It better be around here somewhere, because if I threw it out I'm going to be devastated. I had pics of my doggie on there.
Prayers sent
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Old 12-24-2014, 07:34 PM   #59
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Great post, except for the McGlynn in the toilet. Cracking up at the I bet she doesn't know this isn't just a leather jacket.
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Old 12-24-2014, 07:55 PM   #60
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