I can't be what I'm not.

Some people are jocks. Some people are preps. Some people are sluts. Some people are popular. Some people are all of the above, or a combination of one or more.

Some people are nerds.

I am a nerd.

Nerds don't go to parties. Those other people do.

I'm not those other people. I don't do what they do.

After covering my basketball games (which put the evening at 7pm) I went to the library and got on the computer until it closed at 8. Then I went to a mexican restaurant and ate dinner. It was then 9 pm. I was led to believe the party was starting at 9:30 or 10 pm. I drove over to her house and parked in a nearby lot. I waited. I felt sick. I went to the university center, and looked in the mirror. I looked like a nerd. I went back to the parking lot, ended up circling the house five times and parking again each time.

The last attempt I actually got out of the car. Guys I was so scared my entire body was screaming for me to get back in the car where it was safe. I got in there and left, and tried not to turn my head to look at that apartment building and the people outside it as I passed it.

Two songs played in the car as I began that trip home. Joe Walsh's "Life's been good to me" and AC/DC's "Hell's Bell's." Those are two of my favorite songs, and they are never played on the radio.

Those were my mp3s, calling me home.

I had a good cry on the way home, but I'm here now, where I belong. With you guys, my geforce 4 and no one else.

To thine own self be true.