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Old Yesterday, 09:53 AM   Topic Starter
Bob Dole Bob Dole is offline
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Messing with squirrels
Someone sent me a video of a back yard contraption intended to mess with squirrels, messing with squirrels. It’s pretty funny.

It occurred to me I have a pile of scrap dimensional lumber, a couple hundred feet of heavy nylon cord, tools, and most importantly, spare time. The back yard fence probably wouldn’t work out well because the back yard is the dog’s space and they’d probably avoid participating in my animal sadism.

Ideally I’d be able to watch while sitting on my front porch in the morning of afternoon. I have a half finished tiki bar and about 50 trees visible from my typical porch perch I can utilize and most importantly, a LOT of squirrels with which to mess.

Shoot me some ideas
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Old Yesterday, 09:55 AM   #2
KCJake KCJake is offline
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Old Yesterday, 10:08 AM   #3
TinyEvel TinyEvel is offline
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I am currently in the middle of an Elmer Fudd level battle to keep squirrels out of my peach tree.

They run along the top of the back fence like a highway. I put 4" ducting soaked in oil across the top but they shimmy across it. I put bird spikes along the top of the fence but they crawl sideways along the edge of the top 2x4 board to get around them like a free climber. I clipped a sheet of plastic to the tree facing the fence. this seems to work so far. I think it freaks them out.

A .22 scoped break barrel pellet gun is the last option, but I can only do it when my family isn't home.
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Old Yesterday, 10:13 AM   #4
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Originally Posted by TinyEvel View Post
A .22 scoped break barrel pellet gun is the last option, but I can only do it when my family isn't home.
WRONG. Teach your children to murder squirrels or you are in dereliction of duty as a father.
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Old Yesterday, 11:43 AM   #5
TinyEvel TinyEvel is offline
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Originally Posted by Hammock Parties View Post
WRONG. Teach your children to murder squirrels or you are in dereliction of duty as a father.
You can be such a knob.
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Old Yesterday, 12:53 PM   #6
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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You can be such a knob.
NO! You need to find yourself as a MAN and SOON. DEFEND YOUR PROPERTY.

If anyone's feelings are hurt in the process they will GROW AS A HUMAN.
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Old Yesterday, 02:35 PM   #7
TinyEvel TinyEvel is offline
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NO! You need to find yourself as a MAN and SOON. DEFEND YOUR PROPERTY.

If anyone's feelings are hurt in the process they will GROW AS A HUMAN.
Bro you are the LAST person I will take any advice from about being a man.
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Old Yesterday, 01:47 PM   #8
Bob Dole Bob Dole is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TinyEvel View Post
I am currently in the middle of an Elmer Fudd level battle to keep squirrels out of my peach tree.

They run along the top of the back fence like a highway. I put 4" ducting soaked in oil across the top but they shimmy across it. I put bird spikes along the top of the fence but they crawl sideways along the edge of the top 2x4 board to get around them like a free climber. I clipped a sheet of plastic to the tree facing the fence. this seems to work so far. I think it freaks them out.

A .22 scoped break barrel pellet gun is the last option, but I can only do it when my family isn't home.
Try hanging aluminum pie plates in the tree. That works for birds a cherries.
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Old Yesterday, 10:14 AM   #9
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We get them in the yard, but nothing too crazy. I think they have learned that my cats are ruthless. One of the squirrels got to close to the house and ****ed around and found out once.
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Old Yesterday, 10:28 AM   #10
crayzkirk crayzkirk is offline
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Once they decide to get under the hood of your car, chew the wiring harness and fuel injection lines, you will no longer see them as cute. You will see them as the fuzzy tailed rat bastards they are. The only good squirrel is a dead squirrel.
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Old Yesterday, 10:40 AM   #11
BlackHelicopters BlackHelicopters is offline
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Originally Posted by crayzkirk View Post
Once they decide to get under the hood of your car, chew the wiring harness and fuel injection lines, you will no longer see them as cute. You will see them as the fuzzy tailed rat bastards they are. The only good squirrel is a dead squirrel.
This happened to my wife’s SUV. I have a pellet gun that is very effective.
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Old Yesterday, 11:25 AM   #12
crayzkirk crayzkirk is offline
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This happened to my wife’s SUV. I have a pellet gun that is very effective.
I asked the city if I could eliminate them; the response was that I could not kill them. Trap and relocate. Then on the next page, was a statement that animals that were relocated would typically starve. So, it's more human to trap, relocate, release and let them starve than to execute them humanely. Whut?
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Old Yesterday, 11:30 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crayzkirk View Post
I asked the city if I could eliminate them; the response was that I could not kill them. Trap and relocate. Then on the next page, was a statement that animals that were relocated would typically starve. So, it's more human to trap, relocate, release and let them starve than to execute them humanely. Whut?
I dont think the game warden is going to be coming after you if you kill squirrels on your property.
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Old Yesterday, 01:45 PM   #14
Bob Dole Bob Dole is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crayzkirk View Post
Once they decide to get under the hood of your car, chew the wiring harness and fuel injection lines, you will no longer see them as cute. You will see them as the fuzzy tailed rat bastards they are. The only good squirrel is a dead squirrel.
That’s the only thing I can figure severed my windshield washer line.

And I didn’t say I wasn’t going to shoot and eat the little ****ers. The fact is, they are here in abundance, and I might as well be entertained.
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Old Yesterday, 10:29 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob Dole View Post
Someone sent me a video of a back yard contraption intended to mess with squirrels, messing with squirrels. It’s pretty funny.

It occurred to me I have a pile of scrap dimensional lumber, a couple hundred feet of heavy nylon cord, tools, and most importantly, spare time. The back yard fence probably wouldn’t work out well because the back yard is the dog’s space and they’d probably avoid participating in my animal sadism.

Ideally I’d be able to watch while sitting on my front porch in the morning of afternoon. I have a half finished tiki bar and about 50 trees visible from my typical porch perch I can utilize and most importantly, a LOT of squirrels with which to mess.

Shoot me some ideas
Mark Rober?
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