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Topic Starter |
I'll be back.
Join Date: Nov 2002
Casino cash: $3390478
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I'm on a mission to shit
Five days ago I had surgery.
On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before. On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation. On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans. On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia. It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago. I'm on a mission. To shit. Please, God. Let me shit. |
Posts: 284,906
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#2 |
In Search of a Life
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas
Casino cash: $1838994
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Sounds crappy
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Posts: 22,400
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#3 |
Spiraling down the Drain
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dante's Ninth Circle
Casino cash: $1670588
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Prayers sent.
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"We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family." "Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever." 2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87 |
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#4 |
MVP
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Liberty, MO
Casino cash: $2804112
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may the shartz be with you
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Posts: 15,881
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#5 |
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: clear out in the sticks
Casino cash: $188550
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Gonna have to try a plunger
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2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. |
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#6 |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: My house
Casino cash: $1998491
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You should check to be sure that they didn't accidentally sew your rectum shut.
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Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history. |
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#7 |
Don't Tug on Superman's Cape
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: clear out in the sticks
Casino cash: $188550
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He's gonna need a c section. It's gotta be breach by now
__________________
2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. |
Posts: 12,575
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#8 |
Wasted away again...
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: in Margaritaville
Casino cash: $6120000
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Everyone knows you're full of shit.
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If you shed a tear for me, please make it a tear of joy. -Joe Tracy (Nzoner) . . ![]() |
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#9 |
'Tis my eye!
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chiefsplanet
Casino cash: $10269900
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First of all, stop eating all that fiber. By ingesting fiber, you're actually forming bulk. Metamucil is actually making the problem worse, especially if you don't ingest that kind of fiber daily. It won't help you go, it will just fill you up.
I wouldn't recommend Senokot or any stimulant laxative as it's going to give you pain and cramping. You're on the right track with Milk of Magnesia but 1) two tablespoons is not enough and 2) you don't need an antacid Grab a bottle of this and drink the WHOLE thing. It is available everywhere that has a 3-aisle basic pharmacy and costs about $1. Wait 30 minutes to an hour. Don't get too far from the bathroom. It's safe and I guarantee you it will work. ![]() |
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#10 |
In Search of a Life
Join Date: Mar 2006
Casino cash: $3659900
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Taco Bell
It has me shitting in no time. |
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#11 |
I'll be back.
Join Date: Nov 2002
Casino cash: $3390478
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#12 | |
Cast Iron Jedi
Join Date: Nov 2004
Casino cash: $9999900
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Quote:
PREPARE TO LOSE. |
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#13 | |
Tossed Salad & Scrambled Eggs
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: ATX & OPKS
Casino cash: $481996
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Quote:
You know, the scene where the kid spikes the other kids drink with this stuff, then the kid shits blood and dies?
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#14 | |
'Tis my eye!
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chiefsplanet
Casino cash: $10269900
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Quote:
It's a saline laxative. All it does is draw water into the bowel. If you drank more than the recommended dosage it can cause other issues but perforation of the intestine certainly isn't one of them. |
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#15 |
Rock Chalk Jayhawks! KU!!!
Join Date: Aug 2005
Casino cash: $7611160
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Ask your boyfriend for help. Seriously surprised this would be an issue for you.
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Posts: 1,074
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