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Old 02-18-2005, 10:36 PM   Topic Starter
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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I just walked in on a coworker...
whacking off to Internet porn AT MY DESK!

I walk into the office at 10:15 p.m., only 5 hours after we close. I'm picking up some more stuff for my day tomorrow and clocking out... I walk back to my desk, the door's closed and I think, "Hmm... the door's closed. That's weird." I open it up and there's my coworker, who frantically turns the monitor off (I didn't see what kind of porn it was) and begins zipping his fly. I didn't actually notice him zipping up till I said, "Hey, what are you still doing here?" That's when I saw him buttoning/zipping the pants...

Then he proceeds to say, "Nothing, what are you doing here?" I answer, "Just clocking out." By this time, I'm back in the hallway, so he knows I'm not standing there just looking at him. Then he asks again... I answer again. He asks again... like fucking Rainman (not you, Rainman... Dustin Hoffman's Rainman, which isn't actually Dustin Hoffman, but you know what I mean...). Then he skiddadles out of the office without saying anything (which I don't blame him for).

Now, I had been noticing over the last few months porn sites on my computer's history... I wasn't worried about being caught or anything, I'm the tech guy and I know it wasn't me. That's what I have a home computer for. I hope this little scare will convince him that he probably shouldn't do that at work anymore... but, damn... now I gotta get a new keyboard and I just got this one. Sick fucker.
Last edited by Fire Me Boy!; 02-19-2005 at 07:11 AM..
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Old 02-18-2005, 10:42 PM   #2
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I'd make him pay. Really. I wouldn't blackmail him or anything, but he should be responsible for damages. I'd get about $10k to walk in on some dude masturbating - so if any of you pervs are looking for that kind of thing feel free to email me.
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Old 02-18-2005, 10:42 PM   #3
Slayer Diablo Slayer Diablo is offline
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You might want to get a new chair and monitor, too....
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Old 02-18-2005, 10:43 PM   #4
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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This was at your newspaper office?
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Old 02-18-2005, 10:46 PM   #5
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gochiefs
This was at your newspaper office?
I'm not saying... I have three jobs so I'll just leave it at "one of my offices." Or even more vague, "one of my desks," since at my three jobs I have a total of four desks.
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Old 02-18-2005, 10:52 PM   #6
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!
I'm not saying... I have three jobs so I'll just leave it at "one of my offices." Or even more vague, "one of my desks," since at my three jobs I have a total of four desks.
I see. Well I have a little story to share.

At my first newspaper job I had the place all alone to myself one night (I had a night class and being the editor, a key to the office ). I decided to let off a little steam before class.
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Old 02-18-2005, 10:54 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gochiefs
I see. Well I have a little story to share.

At my first newspaper job I had the place all alone to myself one night (I had a night class and being the editor, a key to the office ). I decided to let off a little steam before class.
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Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
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Old 02-18-2005, 10:57 PM   #8
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gochiefs
I see. Well I have a little story to share.

At my first newspaper job I had the place all alone to myself one night (I had a night class and being the editor, a key to the office ). I decided to let off a little steam before class.
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Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:01 PM   #9
stumppy stumppy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gochiefs
I see. Well I have a little story to share.

At my first newspaper job I had the place all alone to myself one night (I had a night class and being the editor, a key to the office ). I decided to let off a little steam before class.
Gee, who woulda thought you'd want to turn a masturbation thread into something about yourself.






Seen this coming a mile away.
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Old 02-18-2005, 11:08 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gochiefs
I see. Well I have a little story to share.

At my first newspaper job I had the place all alone to myself one night (I had a night class and being the editor, a key to the office ). I decided to let off a little steam before class.
They have Star Wars porn sites?
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Old 08-29-2005, 09:41 AM   #11
chagrin chagrin is offline
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Originally Posted by Chico Diablo
You might want to get a new chair...

I agree, yoou don't want strange butt sweat mixing in with your own
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Old 02-18-2005, 10:43 PM   #12
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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I work next to the dude every damn day. Like right next to... two feet away from...
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Old 02-18-2005, 10:44 PM   #13
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Suonds rude of you not to let him finish. You should feel like an asshole. Sen the guy a card of apology or something.
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Old 02-18-2005, 10:47 PM   #14
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Old 02-18-2005, 10:49 PM   #15
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Wait, he doesn't have his own computer? Or was he afraid of getting caught? What a fucking douche nozzle.
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