Life Is it possible to have a best friend who is the opposite sex? - Page 9

El Jefe · 01-07-2010, 05:24 PM

I have pondered this, and I think it is virtually impossible. I have had 3 girls who I would consider best friends at points in my life, but all 3 came to a crashing end. They eventually came to a part where they wanted a dating relationship and I did not. I think for a guy to have a girl who is their best friend, the guy either has to be gay or the girl has to be married for it to work. At least in the kind of girls I deal with.

The most recent was a girl I posted about on here last year, we had known each other since we were kids. We dated for a couple of months while she was in her senior year. Then I cut it off when she went to college, and I thought things were cool. We were best friends up until this year, she has had a boyfriend for the last 5 years, and we were fine. Now that I have a girlfriend, she actually told me I either choose to date my current girlfriend or her friendship. So I chose to date this girl, and we have not spoke since, and I never saw it coming, she completely changed once I found somebody. I couldn't have cared less when she got a boyfriend, but apparently when we agreed to just be friends she still deep down wanted something more.

Anyone have any thoughts on this, Im sure it will change as the age group of the girls I am around continue to grow older each year. All of these girls except one are in college still FTR.

Tactical Funky · 01-08-2010, 12:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FAX

I've had a very similar experience, Mr. kcchiefsfanGoJC, and have concluded that it is, in fact, impossible for a female "best friend" or "good friend" relationship to remain Platonic. I think it has to do with spending time together. Eventually, something happens. It always does.

FAX

Yep. It's happened to me every single time. Sex is typically great, but when things get awkward...

ziggysocki · 01-08-2010, 06:38 AM

Don't worry mama, things wont get weird.

JD10367 · 01-08-2010, 07:47 AM

It also depends on what your definition of "best friends" is. Is a best friend someone you can talk the easiest to, someone you enjoy spending spare time with the most, someone you prefer to be around more than other people? Is that not, by definition, thus defining someone you "love"?

Get a grip on yourselves, homophobes, and follow the thinking here. Yes, as much as you wouldn't admit it, and as much as it's (probably, LOL) in a non-sexual way, you, as a guy, "love" your best-friend guy, in a way. Sure, it might be more in the "I'd take a bullet for you" line of thinking than an "I'd suck the poison out if a rattlesnake bit your dick" way, but still... If you're best friends with someone, by definition, it's probably NOT someone you hate, right?

Now, when it comes to guy-guy BFF and girl-girl BFF, if the person is of the same sex then there's no problem. (And by "same sex" I mean "the sex you don't prefer". If you're gay, then obviously it flips the issue as if you were male-female.) But if the person is of the opposite (i.e. attractive) sex, then that WILL have a factor. Because, if it's your "best friend", it already fullfills most of the qualifications you seek for a life partner.

Now, let's say the person looks like Quasimodo. Have you ever noticed it's human nature that, as you get to know a person's personality, how you "see" them changes? If you judge some stranger immediately by physical looks, you can "yea" or "nay" the idea of sex with them right away; but, if you get to know them, whether or not their personality is attractive as well will make them "cuter" or "uglier" to you. It's human nature. It's how ugly guys get hot chicks, and it's why hot chicks get dumped. Because, after all, no matter how physically shallow you might be, ultimately--when you mature mentally--you'll realize that being mentally attracted to someone is equally important to being attracted to them physically.

So, you're a guy, and you've got a girl who's a true best friend, and you feel every nuance of affection for her that's required for a soulmate, and even if you find her a dog you might become more attracted to her as you get to know her better... Do we see the troubling area into which this is heading?

It's biological. Living things are designed to attract and procreate. So it's not impossible to have a best friend of the opposite sex... but it's difficult, if neither of you are already taken. And, frankly, if you're already taken, they can't and shouldn't be your best friend, your spouse should be. Because if your spouse isn't, but this other person is, then I'll bet you $10 you'll be divorced/separated very soon.

01-07-2010, 05:24 PM
El Jefe Don't tread on me. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Where the peaches grow Casino cash: $9030572	Is it possible to have a best friend who is the opposite sex? I have pondered this, and I think it is virtually impossible. I have had 3 girls who I would consider best friends at points in my life, but all 3 came to a crashing end. They eventually came to a part where they wanted a dating relationship and I did not. I think for a guy to have a girl who is their best friend, the guy either has to be gay or the girl has to be married for it to work. At least in the kind of girls I deal with. The most recent was a girl I posted about on here last year, we had known each other since we were kids. We dated for a couple of months while she was in her senior year. Then I cut it off when she went to college, and I thought things were cool. We were best friends up until this year, she has had a boyfriend for the last 5 years, and we were fine. Now that I have a girlfriend, she actually told me I either choose to date my current girlfriend or her friendship. So I chose to date this girl, and we have not spoke since, and I never saw it coming, she completely changed once I found somebody. I couldn't have cared less when she got a boyfriend, but apparently when we agreed to just be friends she still deep down wanted something more. Anyone have any thoughts on this, Im sure it will change as the age group of the girls I am around continue to grow older each year. All of these girls except one are in college still FTR.
Posts: 8,540

01-08-2010, 06:38 AM	#122
ziggysocki mmm sweet lemonade Join Date: Oct 2008 Casino cash: $10005000	Don't worry mama, things wont get weird.
Posts: 1,582

01-08-2010, 07:47 AM	#123
JD10367 Cheaterlover* Join Date: May 2009 Location: RI Casino cash: $10010716	It also depends on what your definition of "best friends" is. Is a best friend someone you can talk the easiest to, someone you enjoy spending spare time with the most, someone you prefer to be around more than other people? Is that not, by definition, thus defining someone you "love"? Get a grip on yourselves, homophobes, and follow the thinking here. Yes, as much as you wouldn't admit it, and as much as it's (probably, LOL) in a non-sexual way, you, as a guy, "love" your best-friend guy, in a way. Sure, it might be more in the "I'd take a bullet for you" line of thinking than an "I'd suck the poison out if a rattlesnake bit your dick" way, but still... If you're best friends with someone, by definition, it's probably NOT someone you hate, right? Now, when it comes to guy-guy BFF and girl-girl BFF, if the person is of the same sex then there's no problem. (And by "same sex" I mean "the sex you don't prefer". If you're gay, then obviously it flips the issue as if you were male-female.) But if the person is of the opposite (i.e. attractive) sex, then that WILL have a factor. Because, if it's your "best friend", it already fullfills most of the qualifications you seek for a life partner. Now, let's say the person looks like Quasimodo. Have you ever noticed it's human nature that, as you get to know a person's personality, how you "see" them changes? If you judge some stranger immediately by physical looks, you can "yea" or "nay" the idea of sex with them right away; but, if you get to know them, whether or not their personality is attractive as well will make them "cuter" or "uglier" to you. It's human nature. It's how ugly guys get hot chicks, and it's why hot chicks get dumped. Because, after all, no matter how physically shallow you might be, ultimately--when you mature mentally--you'll realize that being mentally attracted to someone is equally important to being attracted to them physically. So, you're a guy, and you've got a girl who's a true best friend, and you feel every nuance of affection for her that's required for a soulmate, and even if you find her a dog you might become more attracted to her as you get to know her better... Do we see the troubling area into which this is heading? It's biological. Living things are designed to attract and procreate. So it's not impossible to have a best friend of the opposite sex... but it's difficult, if neither of you are already taken. And, frankly, if you're already taken, they can't and shouldn't be your best friend, your spouse should be. Because if your spouse isn't, but this other person is, then I'll bet you $10 you'll be divorced/separated very soon.
Posts: 12,916