I'm bored, so I did another one.
65. Dirk Diggler
The thing that stands out the most about Dirk is that he actually believes he ran a sub 4.2 40 when he was younger. Think about that a second. A grown man thinking that as a pasty faced youth he was faster than Jamaal Charles, Chris Johnson, and Usain Bolt. (frazod did run a 42.0 BTW). Hand timed runs by fat P.E. coaches FTW.
He also moonlights as an amateur porn star starring with corn fed beauties from all over the Mid-West. Unfortunately, the fast times spill over to this venue as well, so he needs a stunt cock to fill in.
Pros: Some people are naive enough to believe him. Got props from Dane.
Cons: Also believes the mailman was "fixing the TV reception" when he caught him leaving the house the other day.
Outlook: His wife convinces him he's 1/8th African American after she gets knocked up.
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