Quote:
Originally Posted by unnecessary drama
really guy?
I'd like to see people get as creative as my least 3 takes when ripping someone for being fat...
oh and I also ripped you for being gay, but I'm not surprised no one got the 1-800-REALITY reference. I really enjoyed that one.
|
Once invoked the five second rule after dropping a Cinnabon on the subway.
Complains that he can never find his pant size of 58 (slim) waist, 28 inseam.
Has to purchase custom made bars of soap to find one large enough to cover his body with suds.
Wears suit pants with elastic waist bands.
Goes to restaurants on "kids eat free with adult purchase" nights for the free kids meals even though he doesn't have a kid.
Once claimed he was dieting because he only ate soup and salad for lunch, but it was ice cream soup and a taco salad.
Considers dessert to be the most important meal of the day...eats it after breakfast
Was disqualified from The Biggest Loser after they realized that the 80 pounds he lost was entirely attributable to a single coffee/cigarette dump.
Eats chili with his hands
Gave up listening to music because his iPod skipped every time he took a step
Has that unmistakeable fat-guy voice
Brags that he saves money on sunscreen because the underside of his tits and gut don't burn
Substitutes regular butter for peanut butter on his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Abuses hard drugs...inexplicably is still morbidly obese
Used to wipe his ass with a towel...back when he used to bother
Drives a scooter at Walmart
People at Waffle House get grossed out watching him eat
Isn't gay but will suck your dick because, "hey, free food".
Was once brought to tears after someone talked bad about that bologna shit with the little square chunks of cheese in it. (Is there anything more unsettling than watching a fat man cry so hard he sobs? This is an honest question.)
Hides Vienna sausages around the house
Pretends to be some swinging dick at his law firm even though he isn't the owner..nor a partner...nor even an attorney. Also, he's fat.
Hopes to someday pass the bar...on a turnstile without getting stuck.
Uses being "lodged" somewhere as a frequent excuse for being late. Nobody bats an eye.