[RealSNR]

Most exciting pizza delivery story?

I was doing the closing shift. It was around 12:30 at night and the last delivery of my shift to the Ambassador Motel (yes, it's just as sketchy as the name implies)

I walk through the dark hallways expecting a vagabond to pop out of nowhere, rape me, and steal all the cash in my wallet. But I make it safely to the room. The door is already open. Inside there's a guy with his head between his knees and beer bottles all over the ****ing place. The guy is TRASHED.

He has the cash in his hand and attempts to make conversation with me but I can't understand him. Suddenly he slaps himself and works up the effort to say, "I've got an extra $20 for you if you give me a ride to the liquor store down the street." I say I can't do that as politely as I can. He puts up a fuss about it, but eventually leaves me alone and lets me leave.

I go over to my car, toss the bag in the back seat, and am about to get going when out of NOWHERE, like, a goddamned ninja the guy opens the passenger door and forces himself into my car. At this point I'm ****ing freaked out that he has a weapon. He says, "I NEED a ride to the liquor store. Here's the $20. Just get me there. And give me a ride back, I'm too drunk to find my way."

Out of sheer fear, I agree and take the $20. Along the way the guy is talking to me about how some of his friends screwed him over and messed up his car, ****ed his wife, etc. but I'm not really listening. I'm thinking about bolting as soon as I get to the store, but then I realize if I do, the guy could possibly try walking back by himself in the winter, be found dead, and the investigation could come back to, "He had just ordered pizza... delivery guy?"

So I wait for him to get back, pissed as ****. I'm ****ing sick to my stomach that I was a wuss and didn't throw him out of the car, call the authorities, etc. He gets back with his damn alcohol and keeps yammering. I'm still driving pissed. Thankfully it's only two city blocks.

At the end of the drive the guy is actually really nice. Doesn't apologize for forcibly entering my car (he had probably forgotten) but says stuff like, "You're the best delivery driver I ever had." As he's getting out, he says, "Oh, by the way, I forgot. I promised you $20," not realizing that he had already paid me the $20.

But I wasn't about to turn it down. In fact, I pushed it. "Actually, sir, I think it was $40 you promised."

He looked at me for a second and said, "Oh, yes. Sorry. I'm really drunk. Here's another $20. Good night."

$60 on one delivery. Almost worth being scared ****ing shitless. At least it makes a really ****ing great story I can tell people.